


We Leave the Fight but it Never Leaves Us.

by EstrellaQueAdmiro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Gen, Guardian Angel Castiel, Kid Fic, OFC - Freeform, attempted kidnap, lawyer!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2017-12-21 18:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstrellaQueAdmiro/pseuds/EstrellaQueAdmiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving Dean and John Winchester to go to college one of the best decisions of Sam's life, even though four years later he had become a widower and a father almost at the same time. When Dean pays a visit, he knows trouble isn't too far behind. Trouble that could take the one thing he's terrified of losing away from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam sat and watched the baby sleep in complete silence. The innocent, sweet face made it hard for him to hold a grudge against her, although part of him was glad for that. Thanks to that baby, he had become a widower so young, a pained angry side of him told him, the same part that blamed his wife’s death on everything and everyone, himself included. It fought aggressively to stop him forming a bond with the infant in the hand-painted crib.  
The other side of Sam remained calmer, still hurting, but more rational. That baby hadn’t asked to make her mother so ill. She hadn’t intended on her mother passing away after her birth. But now, with her mother gone, she needed her father more than ever, and Sam couldn’t let her down. He couldn’t. Sam had promised his wife that he’d look after her and protect her, and he didn’t want to break that promise.  
Sam couldn’t quite believe he was a father, or that the tiny creature in the slightly-too-big baby suit was his daughter. They didn’t look too much alike, and Sam was relieved. Strange to think he’d once wanted her to look just like her mother, wanted to pass on as little of himself as possible. Everything had happened so fast that Sam was unaware of what he was doing. He had no clue how he would go about bringing up his daughter, he needed to work in order to support her. He had no family to care for her while he worked. No one except Dean. Or John. But they weren’t exactly family to him anymore. Not since he left.  
After leaving for college, Dean and John were no longer considered family to Sam. They never bothered to attempt to sort out their differences, or call to see how he was, it was easy to never bother with them again. They weren’t even aware of Jessica’s existence. Had no idea they now had a niece or granddaughter. Sam wasn’t even sure how they’d react. John wouldn’t be interested, probably. Neither would Dean, Sam swiftly concluded, before pushing his two relatives to the back of his mind. Perhaps he could call Bobby. Bobby could help him out. Sam was unsure whether Bobby knew how to care for a baby, or whether he’d prefer to go hunting, but he was the only other person who cared enough he could try contacting. But then maybe he wasn’t to be trusted either. Bobby hadn’t contacted Sam since he’d left John and Dean. Mostly likely, he was probably still in contact with Dean and John, and would probably alert them if Sam made contact with him. If they still cared.   
Although he didn’t know much about what Sam wanted in his future, on one thing he was completely positive. He wanted his daughter as far away from the life of a hunter as she could get. He’d been lucky enough to escape that life, and he aimed to avoid it. He’d lost too much allowing his father to force him into hunting, and he wasn’t prepared to put his tiny little girl through anything he had. Sam felt a duty to give her the life that he never had. She would get a proper childhood, live a normal life. No guns or weapons forced upon her at a young age. The only thing they had already shared was the lack of their mothers, and Sam hated that this was way out of his control. Sam didn’t exactly miss having a mother because in honesty, he had never experienced it long enough for him to remember, but he was unhappy that his daughter would have to miss out on the same thing. He wanted to be a better father than his Dad had been.  
Jessica died before they decided on a name. Sam felt more lost with this task than almost any other task before him . His wife would have picked the perfect name, he’d counted on it. All he’d expected to do was accept or decline her choice of name, thought most likely say yes. Now she was gone and she had no input, Sam had been stuck for days on a name. The only thing he’d been certain of from that first moment he’d held his daughter was that her middle name would be Jessica.  
Sam looked over at the alarm clock sat on his bedside table. It had a large dent in it from when he’d thrown it across the room in frustration the morning after he brought the baby home. The action didn’t help, just made everything worse, the commotion waking the baby. There were just a few hours before he had to leave, and yet he was ready to go. Sam had struggled to sleep, just like he had the previous few nights, and so had got up at five in the morning to get dressed. He was unsure what was appropriate for a baby to wear to a funeral. Dressing a baby in black clothing didn’t seem right, and wasn’t exactly common. Sam settled for the opposite, a soft white onesie, the first thing Jessica had bought for their baby, with a rabbit motif on the front. He left the baby clothes on the bed, allowing the baby to sleep a little longer before dressing her and getting her ready. She looked too peaceful to disturb.  
Sam loved his daughter, of course. She was part of Jessica. But sometimes, not all the time, he couldn’t muster the affection and doting a father should have. He spoke to her like he was an adult, with a slightly softer tone, rather than a cooing, sing song voice to sooth her. He’d been so excited to become a dad from the moment he and Jessica discovered they were having a baby, but now she’d passed away the excitement had left him. If she were alive, they’d be sharing the experience together, helping each other out and learning from each other’s mistakes. A proper family, what he’d always dreamed of. Jessica’s family never truly approved of him, and he wasn’t sure why. Even thought Jessica’s parents now had a granddaughter, they didn’t want to know. They’d been swallowed up by the loss of their daughter, and Sam, in honesty, didn’t blame them for that.  
Sam went downstairs to make up some baby formula to feed his daughter. Jessica had never even had the chance to feed her. In fact, she’d not even held her for long. Their daughter was born by emergency C-section, and was given to Sam while Jessica recovered. She was awake, but woozy and disoriented from the anaesthetic. He’d held their baby by her face, and he remembered her smiling at her newborn daughter and mumbling something about how beautiful she was. After she’d recovered, Sam passed their baby girl over to Jessica to hold for the first time. She only got to hold her for a minute before she lost consciousness. It was the last time Sam saw her alive. His last memories were of Jessica cradling their daughter and kissing her tiny, perfect hand, crying with joy. Sam had sat close to her, his arm around her shoulders and allowing their baby to cling to his finger. Happy memories, at least. He repressed the moments that followed as best he could manage.  
Upon seeing his new daughter enter the world, Sam had shed a few tears, but he’d never cried as much as he did when he saw Jessica, after many apologies from doctors and nurses who claimed they did all he could to save her. He had nodded silently and politely, thanking them for their efforts, but in his mind they hadn’t done enough. He had the baby in his arms, and he gently laid her on her mother’s chest before he collapsed into the chair beside her and sobbed controllably into his wife’s shoulder. Sam felt so empty, unsure what he’d do without her. He looked up at her face and planted a kiss on her cheek. Her expression was peaceful, to his comfort, and she appeared to be at rest. After about an hour, maybe two, Sam sat up slowly and lifted his daughter.  
“I’ll take care of her,” he whispered, “I promise,” before turning away and leaving the room, overcome with emotion.  
He walked back upstairs with the bottle, and gently lifted the tiny infant into his arms. She felt as if she could fit into his hand. He hated feeding her what he called the artificial crap, but he had no other choice. His daughter needed nutrition somehow, and it wasn’t as if Sam could spontaneously begin producing milk for her. A smile grew on his lips as the little baby fed from the bottle. At least I can do one thing right, Sam thought to himself. Once she’d finished, he kissed her head softly, standing the empty bottle on the side while she stared at him with big blue eyes.  
A knock at the door interrupted one of the rare bonding moments Sam and his daughter had shared since her birth. Distracted, Sam averted his gaze in the direction of the door with a frown. Who’d be disturbing him this early in the morning on the day of his wife’s funeral? He couldn’t narrow down who it could be, as he barely knew anyone on his neighbourhood. The chances of it being someone attending the funeral were slim, seeing as no one attending knew him well enough to come and visit him. Jessica’s parents were the only ones he knew, besides a couple relatives present at the wedding. They certainly wouldn’t make the effort to visit him.  
The wedding had been a reasonably quiet and private event, and Sam had preferred it that way, although he had wished, in a way, that he’d had at least his big brother there to support him on one of the biggest days of his life. Dean would have neutralised the coldness radiating from Jessica’s family towards him, and he would have felt more at ease at his own wedding. He had never worked out what he had done to make Jessica’s family dislike him so much, but he stayed quiet to prevent any arguments. He would have hated to have put Jessica through a feud between her family and her husband. She’d looked so beautiful at the wedding. Her long, blonde hair had been tied into a loose fishtail plait, accompanied with a strapless, lace covered dress with a short train. Sam focused on nothing but her, in a perfect bubble where it was just them two together.  
Sam laid the baby down in her crib, gently stroking her blonde tufts of hair once before going to answer the door.  
It was the last person Sam had expected to see.

The last person he wanted to see. Anyone but him. Of all days, especially not this one. He couldn’t be dealing with him now.  
But there he stood. In old jeans he’d probably owned for years and couldn’t afford to throw out, paired with a shirt and jacket. To Sam’s slight astonishment, around his neck was the amulet he’d given to him one Christmas. He’d still kept that, through everything?  
“Dean,” Sam finally choked out his brother’s name, his muscled locked in place as his eyes widened.  
“Hey, Sam,” Dean smirked a little, but Sam interrupted before he could carry on.  
“What are you doing here?” he demanded, “How did you find me?”  
Dean raised an eyebrow, his eyes gleaming in a way that made Sam’s skin crawl with irritation.  
“You’re really insulting my tracking abilities like that? C’mon, bro,” he said playfully, the corners of his mouth twitching as he resisted a grin, “Anyway, I hate to interrupt you,” Dean looked Sam up and down, studying his outfit and trying to analyse the situation, “When you have…a meeting? Something lawyer-y?”  
Sam rolled his eyes, not prepared to tell him the real situation, “What do you want, Dean?”  
“I need you for a hunt,” Sam hadn’t expected any other answer. He’d known what was wanted of him the moment he saw his brother.  
“I don’t do that anymore, Dean. You know that,” Sam shook his head, about to shut the door on him.  
“But…”  
“Dean, even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I can’t go,” Sam’s voice rose in frustration. Dean folded his arms, puffing out his chest as if to make himself taller than his rather significantly tall sibling. Sam couldn’t take his attempt at “concerned brother” seriously.  
“I can’t wait to hear your excuses. They better be creative,” Dean muttered, a little childishly, “Some meeting, some wonderful date with some wonderful girl. Or maybe-”  
As if in answer, the infant upstairs began to cry, the sound amplified by the baby monitor in the living room nearby. Dean’s voice reduced to nothing, and his striking hazel eyes looked upstairs while Sam shifted uncomfortably. He was unsure whether he wanted Dean to meet his niece.  
“Looks like we need a serious catch up,” Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, recovering from his unexpected interruption. He looked up at Sam expectantly, “Well, aren’t you going to let me in?”


	2. Chapter 2

While Sam ran upstairs to his daughter, Dean found his way to the kitchen and helped himself to a beer, slightly disappointed at the lack of pie, before sprawling across the soft couch in the living room. He studied his surroundings, eventually focusing his attention on a framed photo in the middle of the mantelpiece.  
“Sammy got married,” he whispered to himself, staring up at the ceiling, “And had a kid. You really lucked out here.”  
There was a hint of envy in Dean’s voice, he was glad that Sam hadn’t been there to hear it.   
“Pretty wife you got there,” Dean nodded to the photo as his brother came back downstairs alone, “When do I get the meet and greet?”  
“You don’t,” Sam snapped, losing himself at the reminder, letting Dean flinch.  
“Too ashamed of your hunter family?” Dean smirked, easily regaining his confidence, “Or afraid of something else?”  
“She’s dead,” Sam looked Dean straight in the eye. This time, Dean was truly caught off guard. He was used to Sam losing his temper, but for once there wasn’t an easy joke or comment to make.. He couldn’t meet Sam’s gaze anymore, “And it’s her funeral today.”  
“I’m sorry,” was all Dean managed to say, “You know, if you want, I could stay here a few days. Keep you company.”  
“Thanks,” Sam looked at his brother respectfully for the first time since he’d arrived, “But no. You have to go. Go back to Dad. I can’t risk Rose.”  
“Rose,” Dean couldn’t help but smile, “I have a niece.”  
Sam nodded, staying quiet for a while before talking again. He’d finally come to the decided on “Rose” after hours of indecision. The one thing that Jess had insisted on having at her wedding was roses, loads of them, and Sam wanted his daughter’s name to spark some kind of memory of her. Rose was his perfect choice.  
“Sorry, Dean,” Sam finally said, “No offense, but hunters aren’t exactly safe people. They attract danger. I can’t –“ Sam paused for a breath. “I can’t put my daughter at risk like that. I got out of the life, and it has to stay that way. I need to keep her safe. She’s not getting the upbringing I had. She deserves better.”  
Dean nodded, a little disappointed, but he hadn’t exactly expected a different response. He was aware that trying to get his brother on a hunt would be a long shot, but it was something. A way for him to try and bridge the gap between them, it’s all he’d really wanted to do. They might not have separated on the best of terms, but he had missed having his little brother around. He ran his fingers through his hair, “Sure,” he nodded, “No, I get it, man. But y’know…just holding her wouldn’t hurt, right?”  
Sam looked over at Dean’s wide hopeful eyes. He really did want to meet his niece, and Sam didn’t have the heart to deny him that. He remembered how Dean had always talked about wanting to be an uncle, even when they were kids.  
“I’d be their favourite uncle,” he’d say proudly, despite him most likely being the only uncle, “Teaching them how to shoot a gun, my way with the ladies. All the stuff you wouldn’t dare teach.”  
Clearly, Dean had only considered that Sam would have sons.  
Despite his concerns for his daughter’s safety, he trusted Dean. Since he could remember, Sam had looked up to his big brother and nothing could ever change that.  
“Alright,” Sam nodded, “Come with me.”  
Dean’s face lit up, and he followed Sam at his heels, unable to hide the smile on his face as he entered Sam’s bedroom. Just the idea of Sam having a child made him happy, as all he’d wanted was for Sam to have a normal life. It was too late for Dean now, and he wasn’t sure he could ever escape the life successfully anymore.  
“Rose Jessica Winchester,” Sam murmured to himself. Rose had been asleep, but her eyes flickered open upon the feeling of being lifted up by her father.  
“I can just picture it now, Sammy,” Dean grinned, “You, sitting in a ballet class, watching little Rosie dancing while surrounded by a swarm of mommies.”  
Sam couldn’t help but crack a smile, “Shut up.”  
Dean came closer to his brother to see his niece for the first time. His smile grew, taking in all her tiny, perfect features. Her little nose, pink lips and bright blue eyes.  
“She’s,” he paused, “Beautiful.”  
Sam held her out to him, and Dean took her. He had never seen his brother be so tender as he was cradling Rose against his chest.  
“Hey there,” Dean whispered, gently placing his finger on his niece’s palm. She clutched at it tightly, “Aww, see I’m her favourite person already.”  
Sam watched his brother in awe. How was he doing it so easily? Why couldn’t he do it like that? He let out a small sigh, but Dean was too busy concentrating on his baby niece to notice.  
“What’s she wearing to the funeral?” Dean asked carefully, looking up at his brother before looking back at Rose, “Can’t be expected to wear your PJs, right, Rosie?”  
Sam raised an eyebrow and threw the white onesie to him.   
“Aw, now that is cute,” Dean inspected it closely, “But let’s see what else you’ve got. Where do you keep her clothes?”  
“That way,” Sam nodded towards the next room. Holding the baby with one arm, Dean rummaged through the clothes, commenting quietly about the different outfits as if Rose could also give her opinion. Sam leaned against the doorway, watching in slight amusement, but also a little annoyance. He’d picked the outfit for a reason, but he didn’t have the strength for an argument.  
“Now that’s more like it,” Dean said triumphantly, lifting a little pale pink dress with pride in his eyes.  
“Dude, since when did you become baby fashion expert of the year?” Sam smiled, “It’s a good choice though. If you want to dress her you’ll probably have to change her diaper too.”  
“Ah, what’s a diaper compared to the stuff I’ve seen?” Dean shrugged, “Diapers?”   
Sam opened the closest drawer to him and threw a small parcel to his brother. It seemed Rose had gained a Nanny.  
Sam sat on the chair in the corner of Sophie’s room as Dean dressed and changed his daughter for him. Dean’s enthusiasm was beginning to frustrate him, but he opted to suffer in silence. He wished he could feel the same way as him, but he couldn’t. He wanted to feel like a proper father, but he knew he wasn’t acting like one, no matter how hard he tried. Sam looked at his Rose and saw only Jessica. He’d already had nightmares about losing Rose, and Jessica telling him how disappointed she was for breaking his promise.  
Dean left the bathroom with Rose in her dress, smiling proudly at Sam.  
“See, look how cute she is?” he kissed her forehead, “I think I’m in love, Sammy.”  
“That wouldn’t be the first time,” Sam smirked, “I’ll get her bag ready.”  
Dean nodded dismissively, to drawn up in the world of Rose as Sam got the final bits together. As he checked he had everything he needed, he overheard Dean making conversation with the baby.  
“Nice room you’ve got here, Rosie,” he said, nodding in appreciation at the pink walls and animal mobile hanging from the ceiling, “You’re a very lucky girl.”  
Sam went into the bathroom and put more than enough diapers and baby wipes into his bag. Dean frowned, stroking Rose’s hair gently.  
“Dude, have you seen the size of her?” Dean gestured with his hand, “No way is she going to poop regular enough for seven diaper changes.”  
“Better to be prepared, right?” Sam looked up at him, beginning to panic that he was overreacting and over-packing.  
“Sure, why not?” Dean gently bounced Rose as she began to get a little restless, “Are you telling Uncle Dean you want to go now? Or do you want to go to papa?”  
Sam checked and double-checked his bag before accepting that he did in fact have everything he needed, and then some. He took out the pram from the cupboard.  
“I’ll drive you there,” Dean offered, “I’ll just wait in the car.”  
“You just had a beer, Dean,” Sam frowned, “No way are you driving with a baby in the car, even if one beer barely affects you anymore.”  
The Dean he knew would have argued but he must have seen something in Sam, seen how broken he was, and instead nodded, “At least one of us is sensible,” he grinned to Rosie, “Always listen to Dad, not me, got that?”  
Sam sighed in exasperation, “You take the pram,” he ordered, handing over the folded up contraption to his brother and exchanging it for his daughter. Sam began to smile as he noticed that Rose really did look cute in that dress. He forgot about his original choice, and was grateful for his brother’s.  
Rose wasn’t at all disturbed or affected by the car journey, to Sam’s relief. His original fears of the engine startling her disappeared, as she slept peacefully in her car seat while Dean watched over her. Instead of disturbing her, the sound of the car comforted and soothed her, and she didn’t make a sound for the whole ride.  
Once they arrived, Sam lifted Rose out of her seat as Dean unfolded the pram for him.  
“Alright, I’ll wait in the car,” Dean put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, and Sam suddenly felt like a chill again.  
“No, Dean,” Sam suddenly found his hand clutched tightly around his brother’s arm, eyes wide. Afraid. Intially, when Sam had left, he turned part of his loneliness into anger. Anger at his Dad but especially at Dean who had just sat there as his Dad told him to never come back. He had sworn never to have anything to do with them again when the anger still coursed through him. Sam had been ready, been prepared to face this day alone, cope through the funeral but now he had Dean. He didn’t feel alone, some of the heavy weights immediately being taken by Dean without a second thought and now the thought of just going it alone – he shook his head.   
Dean’s concern flared, the same expression of fear mimicked on Sam’s older face. “Hey,” Dean said softly, as if soothing a wild animal. “Sammy, it’s alright. You’ll be alright. Just, calm down, okay? Can’t babies smell fear or some shit like that?”   
Sam barked out a hysteric laugh before he started to shake but Dean was right there, clutching back at him. “Look, I get it’s hard. You don’t want to let her go. Say goodbye. That’s normal. But you’ll regret it if you don’t go. I’ll be right here in the car. You can do this.”  
“Her family – we don’t –“ Sam had to take a steadying breathe. “I don’t know them, or the others. I don’t want to be alone in there,” Sam and Dean’s eyes met, both wide but for different reasons. Even to Sam the outburst seemed to spring from nowhere but it didn’t make the words less true.   
“No one knows who I am, Sam. What if they kick me out? I didn’t know her,” Dean sighed.  
“Lie,” Sam said quickly, cutting off Dean before he could carry on, “You’ve lied before. It’s not exactly difficult.”  
“You know someone there, Sam,” Dean looked over at Rose, snoozing peacefully in her pram as he gently pushed it back and forth, “She’s a Winchester. She’ll look after her Dad.”  
Sam, out of arguments, just stared at his brother.  
“Alright, alright. Cool it, bro, I’ll go, okay?” Dean rolled his eyes, “Jeez, you still don’t give up easy.”  
Sam nodded silently, and the two brothers walked to where a crowd was forming outside the building.  
Sam kept his head down as Jessica’s relatives turned and looked at him. Dean was pushing the pram in his casual, scruffy clothes he’d been wearing when he arrived at Sam’s house. He hadn’t thought to get changed, but it wouldn’t exactly have been sensible to borrow some of his brother’s clothes. I’d probably have drowned in them anyway, Dean thought.   
Jessica’s mother looked horrified at the sight of Sam’s brother, at how he’d not bothered to dress respectfully. Who was he, anyway? She’d never seen him before. He was with Sam, and so she presumed him to be a relative. She saw Sam reach into the pram, and the faint sound of a baby crying. Her granddaughter. That was all she knew. She’d been so distracted by the death of her daughter that she hadn’t even asked to visit the baby. She didn’t even know what she looked like. She began to regret how she’d treated her son in law. Honestly, what had he done that was so bad in her opinion? Nothing. Yet she’d still treated him as if he wasn’t good enough for her daughter. He’d made her happy, wasn’t that enough? Of course it was. She’d just been overprotective of her daughter, and hadn’t quite let it go.  
Sam looked over at his mother in law, who smiled at him sadly before looking away. He lifted the baby, determined to sooth her properly instead of relying on Dean. Rose wriggled uncomfortably, but began to quieten as Sam rocked him and made soft hushing sounds. Dean watched his brother and smiled proudly, saying nothing to allow Sam to enjoy the moment. As she fell asleep, Sam softly kissed her forehead and laid her back in the crib.  
The two brothers sat at the back of the room, so one of them could make a quick escape if Rose started crying. Part way through, Sam found he couldn’t hold in the emotions any longer. Some of Jessica’s family were making speeches, sharing their memories of her, and it only made Sam’s longing grow.  
Dean looked over at his distraught younger brother. He’d always hated seeing Sam upset, or crying, a much rarer event. One of the worst times he could remember was the time he’d finally told Sam that all the monsters he’d been afraid of were real. Back then, he’d been too proud to hug his little brother, but now Sam was going through something a lot worse. Dean had been dumped before, but it couldn’t compare to losing a wife, the mother of Sam’s child. There was no way he could imagine how that felt, although he had a reasonable idea through seeing Sam at that moment. For the first time since the two brothers were probably very young, Dean pulled Sam into a proper embrace.   
Sam flinched, unsure of this rather alien situation, but began to relax. He was happy to have at least some sympathy. Dean said nothing, he just held his baby brother close. Sam may have been a full grown adult, but Dean had promised his father, the night of his own mother’s death. He had to protect Sam, no matter what.


	3. Chapter 3

The ceremony had been rough but Sam had composed himself enough to witness Jessica’s burial. He stayed back, afraid of getting in the way of Jessica’s family, not feeling deserving of taking away from their mourning. Dean waited by the car with the empty pram, Sam unable to do this without his daughter in his arms. Rose was beautiful, curling peacefully into his arms, her head rested against his shoulder as he stroked her back rhythmically, it felt like the action was more for his sake than hers.   
In the distance, Sam caught sight of a man staring at him, expression serious enough to belong to the service but standing too far back to be a part. Sam could not recognise him, coat billowing slightly in the wind, he seemed unlike the others, not dressed for the occasion, hair unkempt, tie askew. The coat was what caught his attention, the light tan obviously having seen better days.   
And he just stared. But he wasn’t staring at Sam. His eyes were looking slightly downwards. At Rose. Sam frowned, wrapping both arms around the defenceless infant protectively, wishing Dean were at his side.  
“Sam,” Jessica’s younger brother, Nathan, distracted him from his thoughts. He had a hand on Sam’s shoulder, “I’m glad you could make it.”  
Nathan resembled Jessica quite a bit. They shared the same eyes and facial features, but he had dark hair instead of Jess’s blonde. He’d always been pleasant to Sam, but the two hadn’t seen each other in a while. Sam had stopped joining Jessica to visit her family after he decided it was best to avoid them, and so Sam and Nathan had lost contact. Sam nodded but the brother’s eyes had drifted down to the baby in his arms, clear awe and something monumentally sad.  
“Can I see her?” he asked nervously, “What’s her name?”  
“Rose,” Sam stumbled over his words, “Rose Jessica.”  
He allowed his brother-in-law to take her from him, using the opportunity to search for the man in the trench coat, only the spot was empty. Glancing around, he couldn’t see him anywhere. His attention instantly shifted back to his daughter and her uncle as Nathan began to speak.   
“She looks so much like her,” Nathan’s eyes sparkled with fresh tears, and Sam had to look away before he joined him.  
“Sam,” Jessica’s father reached and shook his hand, “Thank you.”  
Sam hesitated a moment, “For what, sir?”  
The day Jess took Sam to meet her family; she’d warned him to call her father sir as a sign of respect. She’d never explained why, but Sam hadn’t disputed it. It felt right, his own father had insisted the same respect.  
“Don’t call me that, it’s Peter,” Jess’s father said, his tone friendly, “Thank you, for making Jessica happy. She really loved you.”  
“Are you coming to the wake? It would be a good thing, if you’d like, of course. Your-“ Jessica’s mother stopped, gesturing in Dean’s general direction, “- should come too.”   
“Dean, my brother,” Sam nodded, “It was a surprise visit. He hadn’t known, didn’t have anything else. I’m sorry.”   
Jessica’s mother shook her head dismissively, “He’s welcome regardless.”  
Together they glanced at Nathan before focusing their gaze on Rose.  
“May I?” she asked tentatively, clear hope written on her face.  
“Of course,” Sam nodded, “She likes being held.”  
She lifted the baby from Nathan’s arms with practised ease. Sam was glad Rose stayed relaxed and calm, despite being with new, unfamiliar people.   
“Just like our Jess,” Jess’ mother whispered. Sam gave them a moment together, walking over to the freshly dug grave at last to lay a single flower amongst the rest. A rose.   
“I won’t let you down,” he whispered, “I promise.”  
His face crumpled as more tears ran down his face, “I love you.”  
Jessica’s mother put her hand on his shoulder, gently standing him up and hugging him close. For a moment, Sam panicked about Rose’s whereabouts, until he saw her back with Nathan.  
“You’re doing so well,” she whispered, her hand on his face, “If you need anything, let us know. It’s the least we can do, all things considered.”  
Nathan passed little Rose back to her father.  
“We’ll see you there,” Peter nodded, and Sam returned the gesture before walking back to Dean.  
“You okay?” Dean inquired quietly, receiving a small nod in response. Sam passed his daughter on, needing a moment alone as he sat in the car to recollect himself.   
“How’s it going?” Dean whispered, stroking Rose’s hair gently, “You meet your grandparents? Was that fun?”  
He paused for a moment, as if waiting for a response.  
“I saw you met your other uncle too,” Dean smirked, leaning his head closer and whispering, “He’s no way near as awesome as I am.”   
Sam cracked a smile at the last sentence. It was so much like home, just having Dean near him. It hurt that he didn’t know how long it would last, how he would cope when faced with quiet rooms once more. But John probably needed him, as much as he was glad he found his out, he knew they were better together than apart. Even he couldn’t risk that, wouldn’t risk that. It left him wondering where he was or at least when he’d demand his brother’s return. Sam had no doubt as to why John hadn’t come to see Sam himself. The truth would surprise him only a moment later.   
“You’re a lucky girl, you know that? Me and your Dad, well we only had our Dad and each other. Uncle Bobby too, maybe you’ll meet him soon, he’ll sure as hell wanna meet you. But you’ve already got so much, you get a good Dad, two uncles, and a set of grandparents,” Dean’s voice lost its enthusiasm, and he spoke quieter, looking at Sam as he spoke the last part, guilt raging in stormy green eyes. “Just one set now. But hey, if you’re lucky…”  
Sam felt his heart clench as everything made sense; the unexpected visit, no mention of the old man, no phone calls demanding a check in. It broke something else within Sam. “One set?” Sam snapped, “What do you mean one set of grandparents, or were you not going to bother telling me something?”  
“Sam,” Dean sighed, turning away from his brother, ““Dad’s dead. I came back to tell you but things were more fucked up here than I’d imagined, didn’t know how to lay more on your plate. I’m sorry.”  
Sam struggled to find a reasonable argument for that.  
“We’re going to the reception. Both of us,” he said flatly, getting in the driver’s seat and waiting for Dean to get Rose into her car seat.  
Silence was thick throughout the journey, both brothers caught deep within their own minds, when disturbed by Rose waking up and crying. Sam tried his best to block out the sound from his mind while Dean attempted to take action.  
“What’s up, Rosie?” his voice raised an octave, “Hungry? Dirty diaper? Erm…hot? Cold? Need some music in here?”  
Sam didn’t play music in his car. He’d just never considered it as enjoyable as his brother. It irritated him more than silence, reminded him of things best left forgotten.   
“She can’t talk back, Dean,” Sam snapped before he forced himself to reign in his burst of anger, “Just stop.”  
“At least I’m trying,” Dean frowned.  
Sam was tempted to pull over and kick Dean out, but deep down he knew his brother had a point. He was actually making an effort with Rose. Dean had been more of a father to Rose in a few hours than Sam had been since she was born. But his brother didn’t have to face the clench in his heart whenever he looked down at the bundle in his arms, the tufts of blonde hair, how every moment he was alone in this was another twist of the knife imbedded in his heart.   
Rose kept on crying, and the high pitched wails tunnelling through whatever blocks the youngest brother put in place; his focus was shot and the nagging at the back of his head began to transform from sorrow to longing. A longing to pick up his baby girl, help her. The only problem was that part of him was too small when faced with the larger section that just wanted to be alone, to mourn by himself, to kick everyone else out of the car.   
“Shut her up, Dean,” he snapped, it was all too much. Dean’s expression began to turn a little horrified, but he kept on stroking Rose’s minute fingers.  
“Sam, she doesn’t have an off-switch. She’s uncomfortable. Maybe if you had some music or something she’d be okay. Car sounds aren’t exactly soothing.”  
“Maybe if you sorted her out instead of lecturing me about music, we’d all be okay,” Sam glared at Dean through the mirror, but his brother was busy trying to calm Rose down.  
“Maybe if you were acting something like,” Dean muttered under his breath, beginning to smile as Rose eventually began to settle, “All better now, Rosie?”  
Sam sighed discreetly in defeat, blinking a couple times to banish the tears. Memories of his nightmares came flooding back to him. He was letting her down already, and she was barely a week old. He loved her, so much, but his grief stood in the way of him doing what he’d promised. It shouldn’t be like this. He needed Jessica; if places were reversed, she would stand a chance at this, how was he meant to do this alone?  
Dean could tell that he’d gone a little too far with his last remark.   
“Hey, man, I’m sorry,” he said as they both got out the car. Sam shook his head.  
“No, you’re right,” he looked his brother in the eye, but then away again, “Rose deserves better.”  
“You’re not a bad father, Sam. You still care, I can see that. But I can also see the other things. I don’t know what shits going through your mind, heck, I can’t even imagine half of what you’re dealing with but you aren’t alone. She’s lucky, y’know? She has you.”  
After a moment’s silence, Dean cleared his throat, “Alright, enough of the chick flicks. Get your daughter and let’s go in there,” he nodded to Rose, fast asleep in her car seat. Sam guessed Dean was going to refuse to hold her until the reception was over, and so he lifted the sleeping infant from the seat. He was afraid of disturbing her, but she barely moved after being lifted.  
“See, she loves you,” Dean grinned, “Or else she’d start crying the moment you held her.”  
A small smile grew on Sam’s lips, and he led the way as the Winchesters approached Jessica’s family home.  
Jessica’s mother let them in, lightly kissing Sam’s cheek and looking affectionately at Rose before nodding politely to Dean.  
“Dean Winchester, ma’am,” he greeted politely, holding out his hand, “Sam’s brother.”  
She smiled slightly unenthusiastically, “Sue Moore. It’s nice to meet you.”  
Her eyes couldn’t help but eyeing Dean’s clothing in subtle disgust.  
“Yeah, sorry about the outfit,” Dean studied her expression, “I’d decided to pay Sammy a little surprise visit. Didn’t know what had happened. I’d met Jessica a few times,” he looked down respectfully, “Lovely girl. But I hadn’t known what was happening today. I’d have dressed more appropriately if I had.”  
Sue nodded, “Of course. Thank you for coming,” she looked at Rose, and then Sam, “Can I hold her?”  
Before Sam could answer, Rose was snatched from his arms. Dean stepped a little closer.  
“Well, aren’t you beautiful?” Sue’s mouth spread into a smile. An unsettling, joyful smile, that seemed wrong especially given the events. Rose almost immediately began to cry, Dean automatically reached to take her back but was shot down. Sue’s expression turned hideous, and Dean widened his eyes in horror as her eyes flickered jet black, there and back again but enough for Dean to spring into action. For the first time in a long time, Dean was genuinely scared.  
“Dean,” Sam said quietly, staring at Sue, and then his brother. His wariness heightened when he didn’t receive a reply.  
“Let’s take her somewhere quiet,” Sue whispered, weaving her way through the guests with the crying baby and escaping upstairs. Dean leapt after her, pushing guests out of the way and causing a few spillages of drinks.  
Sam was prepared to follow them, but was stopped as Peter took his arm. He’d seen nothing of the events, “Sam, we were wondering, what are you going to do with Rose when you go back to work? Presuming you go back to work, that is.”  
“I…hadn’t thought about it yet,” Sam admitted, “My brother works out of town a lot. I could cut down my hours…”  
“We could look after her, if you need someone. Well, Sue can. I work most days,” Peter offered.   
Sam nodded, “Thank you. I’ll let you know.”  
“What does your brother do? His work seems unpredictable.”  
While Sam was trapped in conversation with Mr Moore, the oldest Winchester had made light work of catching up to the demon, following into a bedroom, shutting the door behind him as he drew his knife, wishing to god he hadn’t left his gun in the Impala.  
“Hurt her and I’ll -” Dean began, but then swore under his breath knowing he couldn’t back up the statement. He widened his eyes as he actually feared he’d lost his niece already, within hours of meeting her. Maybe if he hadn’t visited Sam, this wouldn’t have happened. Sam was right, hunters weren’t the safest people. But if Dean hadn’t been there and this had happened, everything would have been worse. Sammy had been out of the game too long, obviously hadn’t seen the demon.  
Sue began to laugh harshly at the all-but Dean’s defencelessness, grinning at Rose. Her smile faded, however, as Dean managed to find a small container of holy water. It wasn’t much, but it wouldn’t be pleasant.  
“Give her back,” Dean’s voice became low and dangerous, “Or you burn.”  
He was about to throw the contents at her, until out of nowhere a man appeared. The eldest Winchester tensed as the ma in a trench coat, ruffled hairy and scruffy tie approached Sue. His actions were lightning fast as he snatched the baby from the demon; the mere sight of trench-coat-man had the demon frozen. What the fuck was going on? Rose was placed in Dean’s arms and he began to smile in relief, stroking her hair and rocking her to calm her down. He was slightly distracted when the strange man reached to place his hand on Sue’s forehead. A split second before his skin made contact with hers, black smoke rushed from Sue’s mouth and escaped the room. The man lowered his hand, looking over at Dean and the baby before averting his gaze back to Sue. Before Sue, back to herself, could react to regaining control over herself, the man gently laid his hand on her forehead, as he was going to before the demon escaped. She blinked several times, looking up at Dean.  
“What happened?” she whispered shakily, “Why are you in my room?”  
Dean, for once speechless, held out a hand to help her up from the floor. He looked to where the man had stood, but he’d disappeared completely. Dean was sure he’d hear some kind of movement before he’d gone.  
“Rose…” Dean began, his speech hesitant, “She was crying. You took me here, so she could be somewhere quiet.”  
Sue frowned for a moment, but then nodded, “Yes…is she alright now?”  
“Just fine,” Dean smiled, “I’ll take her back to Sam.”  
Sue followed Dean back downstairs. Sam looked up and saw them, cutting his sentence off as he spoke to Peter. He’d had to quickly think up a cover story for Dean’s job, and had settled with telling Nathan and Peter about Dean’s work as a truck driver. It was one of the closest matches he could find to Dean’s work patterns.  
“Excuse me,” Sam mumbled, going straight to Dean, “What the hell happened?”  
“Well, I’m not gonna go yelling about it here,” Dean hissed, “We should leave, like now.”  
“I can’t just leave, Dean!” Sam sighed.  
“Sure you can. It’s Rosie’s bedtime, I have to leave for work early so I need to get some sleep. C’mon, Sammy,” Dean rolled his eyes, “Think of something.”  
Sam glared back but did as commanded, walking back to Sue, “I’m sorry. Rose is getting restless…”  
“She probably wants some familiarity,” Sue smiled over at Rose in Dean’s arms, “She’ll relax once she’s home, I’m sure. It’s fine, dear. Just call if you need anything.”  
“I will, thank you.”  
Sue nodded politely, pulling Sam into a gentle, quick hug, “We’ll see you soon.”  
Sam looked over at Dean and tilted his head in the direction of her door, making his way out. He made sure to say goodbye to Nathan and Peter before leaving, and Dean did the same.  
“Good to meet you, erm, what was it?” Mr Moore asked.  
“Dean. Dean Winchester,” Dean answered proudly in response.  
“Ah, yes. I’m Peter, by the way. Not sure if I mentioned before.”  
Sam wanted answers the moment he started up the car and the brothers were in private.  
“Demons,” was all Sam could say to begin with, “It was demons.”  
Dean nodded solemnly, looking at sleeping Rose with fondness in his eyes, “One possessed Jessica’s mother. Tried to take her away. Not sure where. I cornered her in one of the bedrooms, but the son of a bitch escaped before I could start exorcising.”  
Dean decided not to overload Sam with the extra detail of the man who had actually intervened before Dean had the chance to exorcise her. He was actually very relieved and also a little more likely now to try and learn the damn exorcism. He’d never had the memory, or commitment Sam had when learning things like that.  
“So, demons are after my daughter now?” Sam looked at his brother in horror, then muttered under his breath, “Perfect.”  
“I don’t know, Sam. Just be careful, okay? I’ll leave some salt and holy water with you, that kind of stuff. Don’t take any chances though.”  
“You’re not staying?” Sam frowned.  
“Sam, I’ve left that job long enough. I only came here to get your help on a job because…well, Dad can’t. I hadn’t meant to stay here this long, but I’ll come back when I can.”  
Sam parked outside his house, and Dean got Rose out.  
“And I can’t leave my little pal Rosie too long, right? She’ll miss me too much,” he kissed her forehead and grinned at Sam. He failed to return the smile. Whether he’d said it or not, he needed the support of his brother and Dean wasn’t the only hunter in the world. They could take a few weeks; before he had arrived he’d have been fine on his own but at the mere words it felt like another knife was working its way into his heart, right beside Jessica’s. He was beginning to wonder if he should have allowed Dean into his home at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean’s actions left the younger brother weary, taking it upon himself to bathe Rose even if it was a task he didn’t enjoy. He had this constant fear of drowning her, letting her slip and bashing her head, so many little things added up to a near terror. Life may have got in the way of Sam and Rose’s bond, but the desire to protect her, keep her safe was strong, stronger even because of what they had already been through. The threat of demons had left him reeling, reminding him just how much they never left the hunt. It gave him more ammunition to keep her safe, protected.  
Rose was wrapped in a fluffy towel as her father lifted her from the warm water. He held her close in, trying to balance as he tried to keep her warm as he dried her before he dressed her in a pink onesie, ready for bed. Sam studied her face with soft eyes for a moment before kissing her forehead.   
“I’ll keep you safe,” he murmured softly.  
Dean leaned against the door frame with a proud smile on his face. It was one of the few gestures of affection Sam had displayed towards his little girl, and he learned to savour them. Dean wanted nothing more for them than to bond properly, something that seemed had not been going so well. They just hadn’t gelled – he assumed it was the grief of losing his wife, but part of him hoped he got over that sooner than later, for the sake of Rosie.   
“I’m assuming I’m welcome to stay the night?” Dean’s voice broke the silence, “I’ll be gone by morning. I’ve still got a job to do.”  
Sam nodded, although part of him didn’t want his brother to leave, despite his caution. He was so good with Rose, better than Sam felt he was, and he feared failure if Dean left. He decided to stay quiet.  
“I’ll set up the guest room for you. Put Rose to bed,” Sam left the room, leaving Dean to look after his daughter.  
“Do you have any bedtime stories, Rosie?” he looked down at her as she stared intently at his shirt, “No?”  
“She’s just over a week old, Dean,” Sam called, “She doesn’t need bedtime stories.”  
“N’aww, well. That’s not right. Babies love stories. There must be something.”  
“Good luck finding anything,” Sam called from the guest room, but Dean began searching Rose’s room regardless. In a drawer of assorted baby things was a small box of books.  
“So much for no stories,” Dean whispered to Rose, “Let’s see what we got here.”  
Sam finished setting up Dean’s room and went back to his own room, finding Dean sat on his bed and reading Rose Little Red Riding Hood. But Sam didn’t recognise the collection of books at all.  
“Where did you get those?” he interrupted Dean mid sentence. He turned to look at Sam, raising his eyebrows.  
“Dude shush,” he stared at Sam for a while. “It’s story time. You can’t talk during story time.” At Sam’s continued incredulity he added. “Do I have to remind you of your own childhood? Cause boy do I have some doozies “No Dean, don’t stop, read it again. What happened to the princess?”” He mimicked his brother’s voice poorly.   
The stories were a part of their childhood that Sam had forgotten, after he found out about the family business, it seemed too real. Witches and trolls didn’t hold the same appeal when your Dad was hunting them. After that he’d learnt to use Dean’s breathing as his lullaby, something he’d forgotten about.  
“Sorry,” Sam cleared his throat and stayed quiet, sitting on the bed and watching, listening to the story with Rose. He began to smile, memories slowly coming back. Dean was enraptured as he spoke, his voice rising and falling with the lilt of the story. When the book was closed, Sam found himself about ready to drop, a comforting feeling have seeped into his bones.   
“I think she’s ready for bed now,” Dean smiled at the bundle curled up in his arms, with a tiny hand wrapped around his finger, “Want to take her?”  
Sam nodded and carefully lifted Rose, kissing her forehead and holding her for a moment before lying her down in the crib. The two brothers stood watching the baby sleep, and Dean gently tucked the blanket around her.  
“Tell me what happened with Dad, Dean,” Sam’s voice was almost silent, and he slowly moved his head to look at his brother. Dean’s body tensed. He hadn’t prepared himself to answer this question, wasn’t sure he wanted to relive him. But Sam deserved to know. Sam sat beside his brother on the bed.  
“A demon?” he asked, and Dean didn’t react.  
“It should have been me, Sammy. It was meant to be me,” he muttered, standing up and walking downstairs. Sam followed at his heels.  
“Dean,” he called, taking his brother’s arm, “Tell me.”  
Dean shook him off and took a beer from the fridge, sitting down on the couch and drinking it slowly. The younger Winchester attempted several times to get his brother talking, but was instead forced to watch him drink in silence. Three beers later, and Sam jumped up to block Dean’s way.  
“That’s enough beer for you,” Sam raised an eyebrow, “Talk to me, Dean. I want to know.”  
Dean tried to ignore him and push past into the kitchen, but Sam’s reactions were quicker. He shoved his big brother back towards the living room.  
“Should be grateful I’m getting rid of that beer,” Dean mumbled, mostly to himself, “Can’t be drinking beer with a baby to care for.”  
“I wasn’t planning on drinking away my sorrows, if that’s what you meant,” Sam sighed quietly, “We’ve had them there a while.”  
Dean sat down on the couch heavily, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands for moment.  
“There was a car accident, Sam. I don’t really remember it or how it happened. I was the one meant to die,” Dean refused to meet his eyes. “Dad wasn’t too badly hurt, but the doctors were close to pulling the plug on me. Or so I was told. I woke up alone. Had no idea where I was. I asked for Dad, but the nurse went all quiet. The only thing I could get out of her was a breakdown of my injuries. I had to wait for the goddamn doctor to find out, even then I had to threaten getting up and searching myself. She told me; Dad shoulda walked away. But then he just dropped dead, right outside my door. They couldn’t find a reason, said it must have been a brain aneurysm or something. I called bullshit. I know what happened. ”  
Sam looked at the floor, yes, he knew exactly what had happened. “He made a deal.”  
“My life for his,” Dean’s voice shook, and a tear rolled down his cheek in frustration.  
“You should have called, Dean,” Sam murmured, his voice slightly shy.  
“I couldn’t. I didn’t –“ Dean paused, “didn’t even know if you’d pick up. You did that before, what would make this time any different? Either way it was done and sealed before I even woke up, nothing you coulda done.”  
Dean had a point, and Sam silently admitted to himself that it was true. He’s only spoken to Dean that day because they’d been face to face. If he’d called, most likely he would have rejected the call before they could even greet each other. It had developed into a natural reflex for him.  
“I’m sorry,” Sam said clearly, and Dean shook his head.  
“Don’t be stupid, Sammy. I get it. If I’d had the chance like you did, I’d have left the life too. But I had to protect you,” Dean didn’t exactly sound annoyed about the last part, which relieved Sam a little. “Someone had to be there for Dad.”  
“You could still get out, Dean. Get a job, stay with us.”  
Dean smirked and shook his head, “It’s way too late for me now, Sammy,” he sighed, “I don’t think I could adjust to an apple pie life like yours. I’d be thinking too much about the lives I could be saving while hunting.”  
“There are other hunters out there, Dean,” Sam moved some hair from his eyes. “Why should it be on us? Haven’t we done our share?”  
“Would you want her life in someone else’s care?” Dean shrugged, “Someone’s got to carry on the family business. Dad would want that. There aren’t enough of us as it is.”  
“Would Mom have wanted that?” Sam frowned at him. Dean shot a quick glare at his brother, but decided against starting that argument.  
“What else happened since you left?” Dean opted to change topic, this would only frustrate them both.   
“Not much. I graduated, got a job, married Jessica, got a house, and then we found out she was pregnant and,” Sam cut his sentence short, “You know what’s next.”  
Dean nodded, guilt that he missed it, even more so for not being here for Sam when Jess passed. He’d have never stayed away if he’d known, differences or not they were family. Sam looked worse today than the night he’d left, the fear darker, the sadness unending but with the added bonus of exhaustion and devastation. It was as if he’d lost a part of himself. He was truly heartbroken, and Dean was overwhelmed for him.  
“She really meant a lot to you,” Dean concluded quietly, and Sam nodded.  
“With her, I felt normal. I could be myself and not worry about hunting,” he mumbled, closing his eyes tight to eliminate his tears. “Didn’t think about the job, about the things that go bump.”  
“You didn’t tell her about me or Dad,” Dean presumed, “To protect her.”  
“She knew I had a brother. Who lived the other side of America and had lost contact with me,” Sam corrected him, “She knew nothing about hunting. It was better that way. I didn’t have to think about it.”  
The room fell silent, only broken by the sound of crying from upstairs, amplified by the baby monitor right next to Dean.  
“I’ll get her,” Dean said instantly, jumping up and disappearing upstairs before Sam had even registered the sound in his head. He followed him, slightly cautious thanks to Dean’s alcohol consumption. Once Sam reached his and Rose’s room, Dean was cradling her in his arms. She hadn’t completely calmed down, but Dean was softly hushing her.  
“Sam, I think she’s hungry,” he nodded, “Go get her bottle. And be quick.”  
Sam rolled his eyes, “Jerk.”  
He began to smile, remembering old, good times with his brother.  
Dean scowled at him. “No fair! I can’t say that in front of an innocent young lady?” Dean called to Sam who stood smirking, “Female dog.”  
Sam laughed to himself quietly, quickly padding down the stairs, beginning to make up Rose’s milk. On his way back up, Sam heard a few soft notes. Was Dean singing? Singing his daughter a lullaby. Never had he thought - Sam couldn’t help but laugh quietly. As he got closer to Dean, he began to recognise the tune. Familiarity turned into awe-filled significance as he placed it. Dean had told his brother multiple times about their mother’s choice in lullaby, that she’d sing Hey Jude to sooth both her boys to sleep. And now Dean was singing the same song to Rose.  
“Thanks,” Dean nodded to his brother as he handed over the bottle of formula, “Here you go, Rosie. Dinnertime.”  
\---  
“Nice house you got here,” Dean gestured around with one hand.  
“We saved up,” Sam looked at the ceiling, “Bought it ourselves, just before we found out we were having Rose.”  
“You wanted kids, right?” Dean asked, sitting on the arm of the couch. Sam nodded.  
“But not so soon. We were going to wait a couple years. We hadn’t been trying, it just happened,” he sighed quietly.  
“You were happy, though,” Dean shifted so he was sitting on the couch, leaning his head back.  
“Yeah, of course I was. I wanted kids, like I said. But then…”   
Dean actively searched for a change of subject, wanting to keep Sam’s mind away from upsetting memories, it felt like a duty, one he’d been failing on until this point.   
“Can I have a coffee?” was the best subject change he could come up with in a hurry.  
“At this time of night? Do you want to sleep or not?” Sam frowned at him, then shrugged, “Knock yourself out. I’m going to bed.”  
Sam pulled himself up and nodded to his brother politely, walking back upstairs while Dean attempted to work the coffee machine. Jess had bought it, Sam preferred to make his coffee himself. Dean, however, was determined to master it. Or at least try.  
“Sam!” he yelled, for once forgetting about not disturbing the baby, “How do you get this son of a bitch to work?”  
“You’ll figure it out,” Sam muttered to himself.  
As Sam approached his bedroom door, he was sure he could hear a voice. He was certain it wasn’t in his head, though he wouldn’t be surprised. It was coming from his room. At first, he couldn’t make out anything, but as he crept closer, the words became clearer.  
“I hope you’re grateful, miniature human,” a deep, male voice said in a low tone, “You’re under protection. Good protection.”  
Sam frowned in confusion and stopped outside the door, staying out of sight.  
“I do not understand what is written on your clothing,” the voice continued, “If you’re telling me that you are a small version of my kind, you’re lying.”  
Sam stood, ready to confront the stranger although he had no idea who to expect. The sound of his movement must have startled the owner of the voice.  
“I must go. Apologies,” he said hurriedly, and Sam darted into the room to find no one there. He was sure, however, that he’d heard something. The room remained undisturbed, Rosie was still sound asleep, it made no sense. Sam replayed the noise in his head again, tried to place it, thought it sounded suspiciously like wings.  
Sam looked at Rose, safe in her crib to his relief. Looking at her onesie, he noticed it had two words written on in large letters. Little angel.  
Sam shook his head. Of all the creatures Sam had encountered while hunting, he’d never seen an angel. Dean had all too often told him they didn’t exist, cursed the hell out of God. Initially Sam had fought him, chose to keep his faith. He couldn’t anymore. Not after Jess.  
“Couldn’t work out that piece of crap,” Dean shrugged, holding up his glass of water in disappointment, “What’s wrong? You don’t look so good.”  
“Dean…” Sam began, “Someone was in here.”  
Dean frowned, “Is Rosie alright?”  
“Whatever it was didn’t touch her,” Sam sighed, “It just talked to her. From what I heard, I think…I think it was an angel.”  
Dean snorted in pure amusement, “Right. Please elaborate for me, Sammy.”  
“He called her Miniature Human. Who does that?”   
Dean shrugged, “Someone who thinks they’re hilarious and original?”  
“Who just disappeared into thin air?” Sam rolled his eyes, “Dean, the window was never opened, and no one ran past me.”  
Dean’s concern grew visibly on his face, “What else did mystery monster say?”  
“About her clothes,” Sam began, but stopped as Dean began to laugh.  
“Fashionista monster?” he grinned, “You know, your imagination is beginning to improve.”  
“Dean!” Sam snapped, “I’m serious! Look at what she’s wearing.”  
Dean looked over at Rose, asleep in the crib. He leaned to see the writing on the onesie.  
“Little Angel? Well, what about that?” he reached and gently tickled Rose’s hand, “That’s what you are, Rosie, you know that?”  
“Yes, but they said stuff about her being a small version of their kind,” Sam frowned.  
His brother studied him for a moment, before laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Sammy, when was the last time you got some shuteye?”  
“Dean,” Sam sighed in frustration.  
“No, I’m serious on this. You look like shit, you were awake and dressed when I arrived at like five, you aren’t in the best frame of mind. I mean, Angels don’t exist, God doesn’t exist and not a single damn demon would have just spoken to her.” Dean sighed, squeezing his shoulder. “I think you should sleep.”   
“But Dean, what if –“  
The older brother moved back , ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll salt the room, okay? And if you think it’s anything more in the morning or see anything else, call me straight away.”   
“Thank you,” Sam slumped a bit, falling onto the edge of the bed as his brother disappeared downstairs, returning with a large box from the pantry – some habits die hard.  
“I’ll do it,” Sam murmured when Dean walked over the frame, plucking the box from his fingers.. “Go make your coffee.” His brother gave it up freely, leaving the room  
Sam poured the salt on the window sill, along with the doorway and around Rose’s crib, just to be safe. Leaning on the crib, he watched Rose as she shifted position and made small, high pitched noises that made him smile. He tucked the blankets over her again, placing her small, soft toy rabbit beside her.  
“Sam!” Dean called, “A little help?”  
The younger Winchester brother shook his head and went into the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Dean was right, he was exhausted. By the time his brother figured out the coffee machine, Sam was dead to the world.   
“This coffee is awesome,” Dean proclaimed loudly for the house to hear, “I need to get myself one of those machines. Sam, are you listening? Where did you get it?”  
He finally got to his brother’s room to find the light off and the room silent, apart from Sam’s breathing. Rose’s breaths were too soft to be heard.   
“I’ll enjoy this alone,” he shrugged, then whispered, “Sweet dreams, Rosie.”  
\---  
Dean got up bright and early the next morning, and had a shower in Sam’s en suite so he could use his brother’s shampoo and shower gel already in there. Sam, on the other hand, was desperately trying to ignore the world existed. Rose had woken up a record number of times, her needs ranging from hunger and diaper changes to needing some company. Dean surprisingly hadn’t rushed to her aid, but Sam was beginning to get used to the night time wake up calls.   
Sam woke up to find Dean, wrapped in a towel, brushing his teeth while watching Rose. He couldn’t help but yelp at the strange scene in front of him.  
“Rise and shine, Sammy!” Dean chirped, running back into the bathroom to spit the toothpaste.  
“Dean, there’s a perfectly good bathroom next to the guest room,” Sam yawned, “And get this, it’s for guests! That’s my bathroom.”  
“No need to get all touchy, Sam,” Dean raised an eyebrow, “Not very nice to your guest. There was no shampoo in the guest bathroom.”  
“You used my shampoo?” Sam sighed slowly, “Dean, get your own stuff.”  
“What? It’s just shampoo, and I didn’t use that much. We always had to share before,” Dean shrugged, shutting the bathroom door so he could get dressed in privacy. He raised his voice, “I used your wash stuff too, and the very nice sponge you have in here.”  
“He used my sponge,” Sam repeated to himself in horror as a grimace took over his expression. He groaned and fell back onto his pillow, hiding his face under the covers and trying desperately to sleep again.  
“Wow. Razors! You’re really living the high life, Sammy,” Dean exclaimed with the glee of a child in a toy store. Panic shot through Sam.  
“Don’t touch the-” Sam began, sitting bolt upright in bed. Sounds from the bathroom indicated he was too late, and he laid back down in defeat.  
Once Dean was dressed and decent, he lifted Rose and got her dressed in a lilac dress before taking her downstairs.  
“Let’s give Dad some peace, hmm?” he said quietly, “I heard you giving him the run around last night.”  
He laughed to himself and whispered in her ear, “Nice work.”  
After little more than ten minutes extra sleep, Sam gave up and got out of bed. He found Dean taking photos of Rose on his phone as she stared at him from the baby chair on the dining table.  
“Smile for Uncle Dean,” Dean cooed, “C’mon, Rosie. Just a little one.”  
The baby carried on staring.  
“Just like your father,” Dean muttered playfully, smiling up at Sam, “Hey, Sammy! I’m just taking a couple pictures of Rose.”  
“I can see that,” Sam nodded, raising his eyebrows slightly, “Having fun?”  
“Aww, come on. Smile?” Dean pouted at her, as if trying to make her laugh.  
“She’s a new-born, Dean. She doesn’t smile yet,” Sam began to make himself some toast, “Breakfast?”  
“Got any bacon?” Dean lifted Rose, so her head rested on his shoulder, “Hey, take one of me and Rosie, will you?”  
Sam nodded, getting a new pack of bacon from the fridge before taking Dean’s phone. He took a couple photos, then handed back the phone to start cooking.  
“Aww, look how adorable we are, Rosie,” Dean grinned, “I think we need one with Daddy too, right?”  
“No, we really don’t,” Sam grimaced, “I’m busy.”  
“Nah, just for a second,” Dean shrugged. Before Sam could protest, Rose was in his arms.  
“Smile!” Dean’s voice became unusually sing-song.  
“Dean,” Sam sighed, adjusting his hold on Rose in fear of dropping her.  
“Sammy. One photo. Not gonna kill ya,” Dean gave his brother a stern look.  
“Alright, alright,” Sam took a deep breath and finally relaxed for the photo.  
“Could have smiled,” Dean put his phone in his pocket and took Rose back, “Never mind.”  
Sam put toast and bacon on a plate for Dean and got two more slices of bread for his own breakfast.  
“Thanks, bro,” Dean said through a mouthful of bacon and toast, “Isn’t Rosie hungry?”  
“I guess not, seeing as she got fed about an hour before I got up.”  
While Sam washed up, Dean got ready to leave. Sam began to get nervous at the thought of being alone again. He’d enjoyed Dean’s company, and had greatly appreciated his help with Rose. Dean seemed to have a natural way with babies that Sam didn’t feel he had, and he feared failure.  
From there sparked the fear that Dean wouldn’t come back at all. Dean had promised to return to his brother whenever he could, but it wasn’t exactly guaranteed with the job. If John were alive, he wouldn’t be so afraid, because at least then they had each other’s backs. Dean was alone now, no one but himself to protect him. Sam had faith in Dean’s abilities, like he always had, but he couldn’t help but picture the worst. It made him want to go with Dean, but he knew he couldn’t.  
He put the plates away and went into the living room, holding Rose on his chest. The lack of photos in the room struck Sam instantly as he sat on the couch. He had just three photos on display, his and Jess’s favourite wedding photo, their graduation and a photo of Jess in her wedding dress. Nothing of Dean, and nothing of Rose. He wanted at least something of his brother, just in case.  
“Right,” Dean announced as he came down the stairs, “I’d better get going.”  
“Wait,” Sam shoved Rose into Dean’s arms.  
“Woah, Sammy, I know she loves me but you know I can’t take a baby with me,” Dean grinned  
“That’s not what I meant, obviously,” Sam rolled his eyes, taking a quick picture with his phone.  
“Aww, Sammy wanted a picture too,” Dean nudged his brother teasingly, taking the camera to see the photo, “If you hadn’t taken me by surprise, it would have been nicer.”  
Sam shook his head in exasperation and took Dean’s bag out to the Impala, while Dean went with Rose.  
“I’ll see you soon, alright Rosie?” he kissed her head and gave her gentle squeeze, “Be good for your Dad, and take good care of him for me.”  
Rose was passed back to Sam, who reached and pulled Dean into a sudden hug. Both of them were careful not to crush the baby.  
“Be careful,” Sam murmured, holding Rose close.  
“Thanks for the faith in me, bro. Means a lot,” Dean sighed theatrically.  
“I’m serious, Dean,” Sam had his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “Please.”  
Dean lost his smirk, nodding silent and typing something into Sam’s phone.   
“I put my numbers in there. And Bobby’s in case you need him. You should call him, he’d want to hear from you.”  
Sam hadn’t spoken to Bobby since he’d left Dean and John. He guessed Bobby would share the same attitude as his father.  
Dean got in his car and started the engine, waving one arm out the window.  
“Take care of yourselves,” he called, and Sam raised one arm in a wave as he watched Dean drive away, leaving him and Rose alone once again.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose stared at her father from the shopping cart as he took several packs of baby formula from the shelf. From the corner of his eye, Sam noticed the big blue eyes locked on his and smiled at her, placing the packs into the cart and moving along. It had been three days since Dean had left, and all he’d heard from him was a text, and even then all it said was that he’d reached his motel okay. Sam hadn’t been told how long the job would take, or even what the job was, and so he was unsure whether he should be worried about his brother or not.  
Sam had just reached the meat aisle, aiming to pick up food for Dean too when his daughter’s mood flipped. Loud cries pierced his ears, and quickly stopping the cart he plucked the tiny bundle from her carrier, laying her against his chest and rubbing soothingly against her back, trying to calm her down.  
“Hey,” he murmured, mind only for his daughter. “It’s alright. You’re alright.”  
A couple of women with toddlers smiled at they passed him, but Sam was too busy putting Rose back in the shopping cart to notice. Gently kissing her forehead, the last cries dwindling, he felt safe enough to place her back in the cart and continue. She instantly began staring at him all over again, and he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself in amusement.   
Dean’s visit had given Sam some confidence with Rose, and he felt slightly more positive about being able to do the right thing, be there for her, be a good father, though he still had his doubts. Fortunately, Rose had settled at night more, so Sam was enjoying just a little more sleep than he’d been getting.  
The cashier cooed at Rose, reaching to tickle her cheek while scanning through Sam’s groceries.  
“She’s gorgeous,” the woman smiled, her voice an octave higher, her eyes still directed towards the bundle in the cart . She stopped a moment to assist Sam in packing his shopping bags. “How old?”  
“Almost two weeks,” Sam answered politely, although somewhat cautiously, old hunter instincts kicking in. “Aww, make the most of it. You’ll miss it when she’s older!” the cashier looked at Sam, smile firmly in place, then to Rose. “Have a good day.”  
“You too,” Sam replied, taking his shopping cart to the car and loading up the car.   
Rose seemed to enjoy car journeys, her eyes drifting shut the moment the hum of the engine reached her ears.. Sometimes, on nights when Rose couldn’t sleep no matter what Sam did, he’d take her for a drive in the early hours of the morning to sooth her. It meant less sleep for him, but more for her, and that was what mattered to the young father. If the silence that followed getting home gave him an extra opportunity to crash for a few hours, it was just a bonus.   
It had been something he almost enjoyed, missing long stretches on the road with his family, but there was something that was making him reluctant to do so. The man he’d seen at the funeral, wearing the same outfit as before, kept appearing at the roadside, just standing on the corner, watching him. When Sam looked for him in the mirror after he’d passed him, he was gone, only to reappear a few corners later.  
After every sighting, Sam drove straight home, locked all the doors and windows, going on to pour salt in every doorway and window. To feel even safer, Sam invested in supplies to create devils trap in every single room. With Rose, he couldn’t and wouldn’t take any chances, just like Dean had told him. On every ceiling was a trap, invisible in the day, UV paint keeping suspicion low. After finishing the job, he felt a lot more secure in his own home.  
\--  
It wasn’t long after their little trip out, the car no longer providing soothing sounds, that Rose became unsettled again. The few minutes the young father had to spend putting the food away were ear-splitting until he gathered his daughter in his arms, laying on the couch placing the baby on his chest. The rise and fall of his chest calmed her, god knows why, and soon Sam found himself watching TV, careful not to move too much. The show was no where near as entertaining as the pair of blue eyes fixated on his face. Sam laughed quietly, moving her closer so she rested just below his collar bone. He stroked her back and it took no time for both father and daughter to fall asleep. He woke a few hours later, gasping in a panic in case he’d dropped his daughter while he’d slept, but found her peacefully asleep on his chest as she was before. He sat up slowly, going to the kitchen to feed Rose. He leant against the work surface as Rose drank from the bottle, her hand rested on it. Sam put it away, silently walking back to the living room. Despite Sam’s rise in confidence, he still barely spoke to his daughter, besides the occasional word. He didn’t see the point, she wouldn’t understand him, though sometimes he made exceptions.  
The constant need to check his phone, eager to hear from his brother, was annoying even to him, especially as he never heard anything. He came across the number for Bobby and stared at it a while. Sam had nothing to do all day, except for watching TV and caring for his daughter, and he began to consider calling up the family friend to see how he was. But he wasn’t sure if he should. What if he rejected him, or was mad at him for quitting on his family? I don’t know until I try, Sam thought, looking at Rose a moment before dialling the number.  
The phone rang several times before Bobby picked up.  
“Singer’s salvage,” the familiar, gruff voice caused a smile to grow on Sam’s face.  
“Bobby, it’s Sam,” he gently rocked Rose as she got restless, letting out a slow, shaking breath.  
“Sam?” Bobby’s voice rose a little in astonishment. Sam laughed nervously.  
“Yes. Sam Winchester,” he repeated, the happiness in Bobby’s voice putting him at ease.  
“It’s been five years, boy. Where have ya been?” Sam could sense Bobby’s disappointment, and was suddenly filled with guilt. Through leaving John and Dean, he’d left one of the people he’d valued most. The man who’d given him the childhood that John hadn’t. The man who had seen it more appropriate to take a young boy fishing or to the park. Bobby hadn’t approved of John expecting his two sons to pick up a gun when they were only boys, and did something about it instead of disapproving from the sidelines. Without Bobby, Sam was unsure how much worse his childhood could have been. Because of that, Sam felt even worse.  
“I’m sorry,” Sam sighed, feeling like a small boy, “I should have called.”  
“Shoulda done more than that, son,” Bobby couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice, “How ya been, anyway? Dean mentioned he was headin’ to see ya.”  
“Here was here a few days ago, yeah. Back on a case now,” Sam shrugged, concealing the fact he missed Dean greatly, “He’ll be back soon, hopefully.”  
“So ya heard about ya Dad?”  
Sam’s response was more of a hum that anything audible, but Bobby got the message.  
“It wasn’t your fault, or Dean’s, so don’t start like yer idjit brother did. Could have got yerselves killed too if you’d done sumthin’.”   
Sam sighed, dealing with the subject hadn’t got much easier. He guessed a change of subject would be best at the time, “I went to college.”  
“Dean told me,” Bobby replied, pride in his voice, “Knew ya were the smart one. How’d ya find it?”  
Sam smirked a little at the “smart” comment, “Good. I enjoyed it. I got a job. Not hunting,” he felt the need to specify.  
He was about to carry on, wanting to tell him about Rose and Jessica, but he couldn’t find the words. There was so much he felt he had to say, but he found he had no idea where to start. Rose made the decision for him, letting out a small whimper before beginning to cry properly. Sam heard Bobby gasp.  
“Did…is that a baby? Did you get yourself a kid?” The old hunter’s tone was a mix of surprise and accusation.  
Sam attempted to sooth Rose as he spoke, his hand running up and down her back, “I have a daughter, Bobby. I got married, but…”  
Sam had finished his sentence prematurely, but Bobby knew what he was getting at, “Was it..?”  
“Nothing like that. It was natural,” the younger Winchester sighed, “As natural as can be.”  
“I’m sorry, Sam. That’s…that’s some bad luck I guess. When did it happen?” Bobby’s voice had become sympathetic, the fatherly essence that Sam had missed returned.  
“Two weeks,” Sam kept it short, preferring not to bring back too many memories, “Dean adores her.”  
“I’ll bet he does. Betcha can’t get him away from her. Where’s my photo then, boy? What’s her name?”  
Sam laughed quietly, mostly to hide the pain, “Rose. Rose Jessica Winchester. I’ll send you some pictures. And my address. You should visit, Bobby.”  
He paused before speaking again, “I miss you.”  
“I’ll see what I can do, Sam,” Bobby said, “Keep in contact, ya hear?”  
“Alright, we’ll talk soon, Bobby,” Sam nodded, putting his phone down. Rose hadn’t fully calmed down, and the last half of Sam and Bobby’s conversation had been shouting over her cries. After checking her diaper, he found the source of the problem.  
The quick diaper change made it clear she’d also need a bath, it was about an hour before the young father made good on his word and sent the pictures across to Bobby. A photo of newborn Rose, Rose with Dean, and also Sam’s wedding photo, along with his address. His phone indicated a reply, but before Sam could read it, Rose threw up on his shirt. She didn’t cry, but panic flared in Sam. Had he fed her too much? Did he make her formula wrong? Maybe she’s allergic to it, what could he do about that? Maybe he’d passed on some kind of illness to her, something he’d carried but not been affected by.  
He stared at her a while, but found she wasn’t pale. He felt her forehead, and it was a normal temperature. At least, he thought it was. Sam raced upstairs to find the baby thermometer Jessica had bought, lying Rose in her crib while he frantically searched different boxes. He gave up the search after a while, and took his phone from his pocket. Sam firstly attempted to remember the doctor’s number, but eventually gave up and called the only other person he could think of.  
“This better be important, Sam,” Dean’s voice sounded strained and distracted, “Not exactly the best time for a chat.”  
“Rose threw up. What do I do?!” Sam’s hand was shaking as he clutched at the phone. If she was ill, he already blamed himself. Dean let out a quick, frustrated sigh.  
“Sam,” his voice was hushed and a little sinister, “Do you know what babies do?”  
Sam frowned for a second, “Erm…”  
“They eat, sleep, cry and poop. That’s about it. If you’re lucky, they’ll change it up a bit and throw up their milk too, y’know, to make things a bit more interesting. Does she have a fever?”  
“Well, no…”  
“Is she crying?”  
“No…”  
“Is she unresponsive?”   
“Erm...” Sam looked over at Rose, who was looking around and kicking her legs, “I don’t think so.”  
“Then she probably hates your fashion sense or something. Get off the damn phone and clean her up, for crying out loud. She’s a baby, not a bomb. Calm the fuck down and don’t call me unless her leg’s hanging off. I’m busy!”  
Sam gulped nervously. “Sorry,” he mumbled.   
Dean sighed, “It’s alright. I get you’re nervous. I have to go.”  
The call was disconnected, and Sam put the phone down to clean himself and Rose up. His daughter was placed on the bed while he got changed. He lifted the baby again, throwing his shirt into the laundry without washing off the sick first, then changed Rose into a fresh, floral onesie.  
Sam sat on the bed and gently wiped his daughter’s mouth, rubbing her back and holding her on his chest. Sam’s phone startled Rose, going from tranquil and quiet to distressed and crying within seconds.   
“So much for not calling, Dean,” Sam muttered, but his heart sank when he saw the name of his boss.. He wasn’t due back at work for another two weeks, he didn’t need this now. Sam rocked her, hushing and trying to quieten her, but she didn’t until the phone stopped ringing. He kissed her head and put her in the crib to return the call.  
“Sam? Why didn’t you answer?” James wasn’t the most sympathetic man, or the most forgiving.  
“I’m…I’m sorry. My daughter was crying. I couldn’t get to the phone,” Sam huffed, a little frustrated but trying to sound as polite as possible. He knew he was one of his boss’s least favourite people.  
“I need you to come in for a meeting,” James said abruptly, seemingly ignoring Sam’s excuse, “In an hour. It was organised last minute.”  
“But, I’m still on leave… because…you know…” Sam sighed, looking over at Rose in the crib.  
“It’s only going to be an hour…or two,” James let out an exasperated sigh, “Its not difficult.”  
“I’d have to bring my daughter,” Sam stood up, “I can’t get anyone at this late notice.”  
“What do you think this place is? Kindergarten?” James snapped, “Be here in two hours. I don’t care who you leave the kid with, you need to be here in an hour.”  
James ended the call before Sam could argue further.  
“Perfect,” he muttered, looking over at Rose in slight annoyance, “I guess I could try your grandparents.”  
Sam dug through a few drawers and finally found Jessica’s address book with her parents and brother’s phone numbers. First, he dialled the Moore family home, and got no reply. Nathan’s number went straight to voicemail, and Sue and Peter’s phones rang endlessly. Sam shook his head in frustration at the pure bad luck, trying desperately to think of a way. Bobby was a few states away, too far away to ask to babysit for a few hours, and there was no way he could get there in time. Dean, obviously, was unavailable. Sam slumped on the bed and put his head in his hands in defeat.  
Maybe a colleague could watch her. Sam thought hopefully, but his critical mind quickly identified several issues with that plan. What if his colleagues all had to be in the meeting? What if they were all out? He hadn’t exactly fit in with his work colleagues anyway.  
His job hadn’t quite been what he’d expected, and he never really enjoyed it. He’d stuck at it before because Jessica had always encouraged him and promised he’d grow to love it. He did it for her, and to help support them. Jessica also had a job, but she had enjoyed hers far more than Sam enjoyed his. When Jessica had gotten pregnant, Sam worked overtime as she cut down her hours with every month, in order to help support her, even though he didn’t get to see her so much. He made sure, as her due date got closer, he took a little time off to stay home and look after her. Especially when she began to get sick a few days before she was rushed to hospital.  
The only thing keeping Sam at his job was Rose. He’d happily walk of out that place, but he couldn’t become jobless with his daughter to look after. He vowed to try and search for a new job, and endure his current job for as long as possible. It was good pay, and he was sure he’d be able to have at least a few days a week off to spend time with his daughter, and still have enough money for them both. He was grateful to be getting paid during his paternity leave.  
Preparing himself to get in trouble, Sam took Rose from her crib and put her in the baby carrier to take her to the car. He had no one else to call, so he had no other choice but to take his daughter with him. Someone knocked at the door, and Sam immediately hoped it was Dean, despite his call just minutes ago, suggesting otherwise. He opened the door to find Casey, a friend of his and Jessica’s from college. They hadn’t known each other that well, as she’d been friends with Jess longer than him, but he remembered seeing her at the funeral.  
“Hey, Casey,” Sam said, slightly confused about her visit.  
“Hi, Sam,” Casey smiled sympathetically, “I just wanted to see how you were before going back home.”  
“Well, thanks,” Sam nodded, “Where do you live now?”  
“Not too far. A couple counties away,” she shrugged, “How are you doing?”  
“Coping,” Sam looked at Rose, who was clinging to her blanket, “My brother visited last week. I was just going to a meeting at work.”  
“With her?” Casey raised an eyebrow at the baby. “Do they have day care at work?”  
“No. I just have no one else to leave her with,” Sam shrugged, looking down at Rose and gently stroking her arm.  
“Maybe there’s a day care-” Casey stopped and gasped, coughing hard for a moment.  
“Are you alright?” Sam frowned, “Want some water?”  
“I’m fine!” Casey grinned at him, “You know what? I’ll do it!”  
“I thought you hated kids,” Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Weren’t you going home?”  
“Home can wait. I can make a little exception for this little cutie!” Casey cooed at Rose, “You’ll be late, Sam.”  
Sam sensed something wasn’t right, but Casey was right. The last thing he wanted was to be late to the meeting.  
“Thank you,” Sam nodded, “Come in. I’ll take her upstairs to bed.”  
“Sure, erm,” Casey frowned at the line of salt near the door, “Did you spill salt? It’s…everywhere.”  
“Erm, yes. Sorry. I was meaning to clean that up,” Sam lied easily, brushing some away with his foot. Casey smirked and walked in while Sam subtly brushed some salt away from the living room door.  
“Help yourself to a coffee or something,” Sam shrugged, taking Rose upstairs to her crib.  
“See you later,” he said quietly, stepping over the salt line and leaving it pristine. He found Casey sitting in the living room, sitting bolt upright and staring straight ahead.  
“Erm, Casey?” Sam came a little closer. She suddenly looked up at him, causing him to jump in shock.  
“Hey! Is she sleeping?” she smiled, her eyes wide.  
“Yes. I’m leaving now. There’s formula in the fridge if she gets hungry. Diapers in the bathroom.”  
“Of course! Have fun!” she grinned, giving him a small wave before Sam left and ran out to his car to get to work.  
\--  
Dean ran through the derelict building, attempting to catch his breath. There were too many of them, why hadn’t he enlisted Bobby’s help after he found Sam couldn’t? Why had he insisted on going it alone? He’d promised his little brother that he’d be careful. Well, he hadn’t said it out loud, but he knew Sam would have got it. Sam wasn’t the only one who wanted Dean to get back safely. Dean wanted nothing more than to rebuild the relationship with his brother, that he’d been afraid was permanently destroyed. He could tell Sam still wasn’t fully with him, even though he was keen for Dean not to leave. Dean longed to also see his tiny, precious little niece grow up. He needed to protect her, and help Sam keep her as far away from the hunter life as possible. Little Rose was the closest Dean had to a daughter of his own, and he already doted on her through the brief meeting a few days ago.  
Several of the large clan of vampires were right on Dean’s tail, almost close enough to grab him. He was lucky to have escaped them just a few minutes before, when they were moments from making him dinner, but it had meant having to leave his weapons in order to ensure he got away. Now defenceless, Dean’s only plan was to get to the Impala and drive the hell out of there until he could get back up. He began to realise how much he needed his Dad’s help. He’d been so sure he’d be fine alone, but in truth it didn’t seem that way.  
Dean was just a few metres from his car when he was grabbed by the shoulders and slammed to the ground. His head hit the floor, not hard enough to knock him out but enough to confuse and disorient him. With vision blurred and a sudden loss of energy, he was dragged by his arms back towards the nest.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean began to regain his senses, the realisation that he would be dead in a matter of minutes sinking into his skin as he surveyed his surroundings. There was no exit that he could reach, no path that wouldn’t leave him hopelessly outnumbered. The gash on his upper arm was agony, his weapon-less hand gripping onto it, trying to stem the flow of blood. Blood was running into his eyes from the cut on his forehead, and his vision was beginning to blur.  
At this stage, he was just betting which vamp would get him first. Despite there only being five in the room, Dean was aware that their numbers spread way beyond that. The sensation of teeth sinking into the flesh of his neck should have been more surprising than it was; there was one brief moment where he was about to give into the pain, shut his eyes but then an image popped into his mind. Sam and Rosie. He’d felt a duty to protect Sam ever since his little brother was born, and he felt the same the moment he met his niece. He couldn’t let them down, and he couldn’t leave his brother on his own.  
The eldest Winchester had just gained the strength to fight back, planning to attempt to kick the bastard behind him in the shins, but he was suddenly released from the fangs. Stumbling, Dean managed to catch himself before he hit the ground again, taking a few extra seconds to realise that the vampires were now the ones screaming, then his conscious picked up the high-pitched whine and he winced against it. Abandoning his injured arm, he clamped both hands over his neck wound. The warm pulse of blood flowed through his fingers at an alarming rate, and he figured any plans to get back to his car would be futile. Even if he made it that far, the blood loss would have weakened him too much to get home.  
The glint of his machete caught in his eye, dumbasses left the weapon in sight after Dean was returned to them. The first swing was lucky, just enough power to cut through the suckers neck, the head rolling to the floor with a thud. The vampires weren’t focusing on him, allowing him the opportunity to get another lucky swing off before the blood loss got to him, and he collapsed back against the nearest wall, his head was swimming, his heart was pounding and the ringing in his ears was getting stronger. 

Then the lights blew. 

The only remaining light source came from a couple windows, but it was sufficient to see the flutter of the tan trench-coat a few metres away. What the hell was going on with this dude? How the hell did he just appear like that? The blue eyes briefly made contact with Dean’s, picking up the blade swiftly. The rest of his actions were blurred. It was only the sound of metal cutting air, the dull thuds as heads rolled along the floors that allowed Dean to work it all out. He thought it might be the blood loss getting to him, the pure speed in which trench-coat moved around the room.  
Dean blinked and the room was silent and once more impenetrable blue eyes were focused on him, a frown marring his already serious expression as he glanced over Dean’s injuries. The man crouched down before the eldest Winchester and pulled Dean’s hand away from his neck. He wouldn’t have allowed it if it weren’t for the fact this guy had just saved his ass; if he wanted him dead he would have left the vamps to finish what they’d started.  
“You’re hurt,” he concluded, faintly touching the wound. His head tipped slightly to the side, studying Dean curiously, not blinking.  
“No shit,” Dean responded. “Hey! What are you -?”  
The other man raised two fingers, quickly touching Dean’s forehead; there was one brief moment of disorientation but then the pain was gone, melted away. In disbelief he felt against his neck, it came back dry.  
“What the hell are you?” Dean demanded, moving to stand, wanting to distance himself. 

“I healed you and prevented your death from haemorrhaging. Or would you have preferred I leave you to die? the man looked frustrated as he stared into the hazel eyes opposite him.  
“Yeah, joyful. What are you, a wizard?” the hazel eyes became wide and mocking. He didn’t receive the intended response.  
“There are no such thing as wizards.” the man frowned.  
“Alright, enough with the crap,” Dean snapped, “Who are you and why do you follow me? I saw you before, when that black eyed bitch tried to take my niece.”  
“I am Castiel,” he responded. He still hadn’t blinked.  
“And I thought being named after a girl was bad.” Dean shrugged, “But here’s the thing, Castiel. No normal person can just make a huge great big bite on someone’s neck disappear. Explain that, Dumbeldore.”  
“What’s a Dumbeldore?” Castiel’s frown didn’t change, “I’m an angel of the Lord.”  
Dean snorted, “Right. Funny. You’re hilarious. F for imagination, though. Angel? Please.”  
Castiel narrowed his eyes, clearly offended. The few remaining light bulbs flickered, and from behind Castiel, the shadow’s changed, the flickering of light giving the impression of large shadow wings. Dean’s eyes blew as he looked at the large outlines, still tracing the lines when they disappeared. “Why are you here?” he whispered, regaining confidence.  
“God sent me,” Castiel said softly, “It’s very important that Rose Jessica Winchester is under our protection.”  
“And why does God think he needs an angel to do that? Doesn’t he trust us?” Dean smirked.  
“She needs protecting from something beyond your capabilities,” Castiel looked at him sharply.  
Dean frowned, leaning forward to hear more.  
“What exactly does that mean?”  
The hard exterior of the angel softened momentarily, looking straight into his soul. “There is more at play here than you could possibly imagine, Dean.”  
\--  
The younger Winchester left the office feeling more rage than he used to get conversing with Dean; James was truly the most horrific creature he had ever met. It was telling that he’d have rather gone with Dean against vampires than deal with his boss again. His pure ignorance and lack of caring lit a flame within Sam that he thought he’d left behind when he went to college. The constant fear of losing his only stable means of income made him feel powerless; it was not something he enjoyed. At least with hunting he had been powerful, but he couldn’t just quit. Not with Rose. Not with his responsibilities.  
The meeting had focused on Sam’s performance, about how distracted he’d been for the past few months before he went on leave. Sam had never considered that Jess’s pregnancy would have affected his work that much, but he daren’t dispute it. He apologised as sincerely as he could, which was responded with a dismissive grunt. James suggested that Sam should return to work a week earlier so he didn’t “get used to staying home.” Sam couldn’t stop himself arguing against that, and after a long debate he eventually got his way. He wanted as much time as possible at home with Rose, to bond and to learn how to be a dad, to grieve before going back to work and inevitably seeing his daughter a lot less. Sam decided that requesting to cut down his work days to just four a week would be best left for another time. He’d angered his boss enough already.  
What had distressed Sam the most was James’ insensitivity over Jessica’s death and Rose’s reliance on him, clearly deeming them as unimportant. Family was all they had, in the end and Sam had refused the early return to work, explaining he needed more time to mourn his wife and spend time with his daughter.  
Sam started his car and headed for home, trying to eliminate the negative thoughts from growing in his mind.  
\--  
Castiel narrowed his eyes in concern, but Dean was too distracted to notice. He was slowly taking everything in, processing the information and trying to make sense of it all. They were still in the same warehouse but now Dean was trying to sort through this new information, figure out where to start. What the actual fuck? Dean thought as he replayed the ‘angel of the lord’s’ words; he still wasn’t sure whether he should be believing them.  
“I sense something,” Castiel’s deep voice became deeper, “Something is wrong.”  
Dean snapped back to his senses, “What are you talking about?”  
“Rose Winchester,” Castiel’s dark blue eyes looked into the wide, hazel ones. Dean unintentionally got distracted again, finding himself staring right back; it was an odd game of chicken, who would blink first?  
“What about her?” the thought of his baby niece got him back to reality.  
“She’s in danger.”  
There was one brief moment of panic before his hunter instincts kicked in. “What? What’s happening? Is Sam there?”  
By the time he’d finished his sentence, Dean found himself in Sam’s bedroom with Cas’ hand gripping his shoulder.  
“Dude!” Dean exclaimed, head spinning and his body feeling all clenched. “Warn a guy!”  
Castiel wasn’t paying attention; he was by Rose’s crib, staring at her.  
“She’s fine,” he said quietly, frowning again. The baby’s eyes flickered open, a lighter shade of blue than Castiel’s own eyes, and she watched the angel from her spot.  
“She is, how humans would describe, ‘cute’,” Castiel made air quotes. Dean rolled his eyes. “Is that the correct adjective?”  
“Yeah. Cute. You’re right. Now are your Spidey senses busted or is she actually in danger?” His niece was still his main concern but noticing the salt around Rose’s crib he added, “Well, she’s safe with that there.”  
“Spidey senses,” Castiel repeated, brow so contorted it was almost comical. “I don’t understand that reference.”  
He stared into nothing for a few seconds before disappearing before Dean’s eyes. Before he went, his face creased into a glare.  
“Castiel?” Dean looked around him to find nothing, “Son of a bitch.”  
A scream and the sound of a collapse caused Dean to instantly go into hunter mode. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could manage, leaving Rose in the safety of her crib. He had the reassurance that she was protected by the salt.  
Castiel was standing in the living room, the lights out, looking down at the body of a girl in front of him.  
“Who’s she?” Dean demanded, “Did you…did you kill her?”  
“She told me she was the babysitter. But I found her trapped in this,” Castiel said in a low voice, looking up at the ceiling. To Dean’s slight relief, he saw the large UV paint devil’s trap.  
“A demon?” he went closer to the body, “Couldn’t you have exorcised her?”  
She was lying face down on the floor, and Dean gently turned her over. He leapt back in horror.  
“You burned her eyes out,” Dean was slightly concerned, his anger tainting his tone. “You killed her.”  
“Exorcism don’t kill the demon, Dean,” Castiel rose his voice in frustration, “They can always come back. There is too much at stake. We cannot risk anything getting back to the other’s.  
Dean stayed quiet, thinking things over, but then frowned and met Castiel’s eyes again, “How the hell did she get in? There’s salt everywhere.”  
He looked down at the doorway, “Oh, Sam,” he whispered, “Tell me you weren’t that stupid.”  
“How can he tell you? He’s too far away to hear you,” Castiel tipped his head inquisitively again. Dean clenched his fists.  
“It’s a figure of speech,” he snapped, looking toward the front door. He closed his eyes in disappointment at the scattered line of salt.  
The sound of wails and cries drifted downstairs, and with the sound of wings Castiel disappeared, shortly reappearing with Rose nestled in his arms.  
“She wanted human interaction,” he looked at Dean, “My human vessel must be satisfactory.”  
Both pairs of blue eyes focused on each other again, and Dean rolled his eyes after a few minutes of staring.  
“Let’s leave the baby – angel staring championships for another time,” he muttered, but Castiel ignored him.  
“She’s hungry,” he announced, finally breaking his stare to look around, “Where do we get milk for her?”  
“The refrigerator, I guess,” Dean shrugged, “Some weird formula stuff.”  
Castiel followed Dean at his heels, and Rose stayed completely quiet and relaxed, her head rested on the material of the trench coat. To Dean’s luck, Sam had left a few bottles of already prepared formula in case Rose had needed it.  
“Looks… delicious,” Dean grimaced, “Bon appétit, Rose.”  
“It’s cold,” Castiel studied the bottle, “Should it be warm?”  
“Do I look like her mother? How am I meant to know? I haven’t had this stuff since…” Dean had to think, “I probably didn’t have it at all.”  
“Where is a nearby heat source?” Castiel thought aloud, not used to all the kitchen appliances around him. Watching humans had fascinated the angel, but he’d focused more on their interactions with each other than with their complex inventions.  
Sam’s car pulled up in the driveway, Casey’s car still parked at the roadside.  
“Your brother has returned,” Castiel announced and Dean was suddenly holding Rose. The angel disappeared in seconds.  
“Casey?” Sam called, “Was Rose okay?”  
He went to go to the living room, but Dean stepped in.  
“I don’t think you want to go in there. Not until I explain.”  
“Dean?” Sam stopped himself from grinning uncontrollably, and managed to conceal it with concern, “What are you doing here?”  
“Uh, finished the case? Came back to see you and Rosie again, like I said I would.”  
“Where’s the Impala?” Sam gestured towards the door.  
“Some jackass drove into her, busted her up pretty bad. Found a place nearby to get my baby back on track,” Dean spontaneously thought up his excuse.  
“Right…” Sam frowned a little sceptically, but looking towards the living room he remembered what his original concerns were.  
“You met Casey? Is she alright?” Sam went into the living room and yelled something inaudible at the sight of the corpse with burned eyes in front of him.  
“Sam,” Dean ran after him.  
“What the hell?” Sam snapped, the bad feelings he’d bottled up from his meeting coming free. “I knew something like this would happen the moment I let you in.”  
Dean began to get defensive, “Hey, I’m not the one letting demons in my house! If I hadn’t been here, what could have happened to your daughter?”  
“What? Demon?”  
“Yeah Sam, she was possessed,” the older brother sighed, holding tightly onto the bundle in his arms.  
“How did I not notice, Dean?” he looked up at his brother, going back to his childhood when Dean used to scold him, “I knew something was up but...but I was in a rush.”  
“I’m not going to lie, Sammy, moving the salt like that was one of the stupidest things you coulda done. You’re just lucky you didn’t move the salt by Rose’s crib. Pure luck.”  
Sam stared at his feet and nodded, “I know.”  
Dean looked at the cold bottle of formula in his hand, “Oh, yeah, do you need you heat this stuff up before feeding her?”  
Sam didn’t hear him, “What did you do to her eyes?” Sam knelt by Casey’s body.  
“Fine, not like I was talking,” Dean muttered childishly, then raised his voice to be heard, “I didn’t. Black eyed bitch did some weird shit before I could exorcise it. Killed your friend…and itself.”  
There were things that Sam wasn’t ready for, things he didn’t need to know. Maybe not ever. Dean chose to lie.  
“The first demon escaped…and this one…killed itself?”  
“I guess,” Dean shrugged, “I dunno, man, it weirded me out.”  
“Whatever,” Sam said dismissively, “What else can I do to protect her? I salted everywhere…and I won’t move it again. I put devils traps everywhere. What more can I do?”  
“Just be careful,” Dean’s voice was calmer, “Holy water, salt. Make sure you know the exorcism right. Now, about Rosie’s milk.”  
“I’ll feed her,” Sam took both Rose and the bottle, “Please. Get rid of the body.”  
“I’d have to get my Baby first,” Dean cut in.  
“Sure. Get the car, then do it. Fine,” Sam sighed, warming the bottle and going to his room, “I’m not going back in that room until she’s gone.”  
He didn’t have the heart to refer to Casey as it, just because she’d been possessed. Before college, Sam had been desensitised to corpses, however mangled or damaged. The years away from hunting had caused the desensitisation to dwindle, and seeing Jessica’s peaceful, yet unnaturally still and pale, body had unsettled him greatly. Casey’s body disturbed him so much more.  
Dean stood in the living room, unsure exactly what to do. Then he remembered the son of a bitch who’d left him this mess.  
“Castiel?” Dean hissed under his breathe, remembering what the angel had said about ‘prayer’. Why did things in his life need to get any more complicated? He sighed. “You there? Get your ass back down here, help me with this mess.”  
He waited a moment in silence. Then feeling even more ridiculous, he opened an eye and grunted. “Amen.”  
There was a fluttering sound and he knew he was no longer alone, spinning to find the other man pressed practically into his chest.  
“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said politely, then frowned, “Where is Rose Winchester?”  
“With her Dad, upstairs,” Dean gestured, “Take me to my Baby.”  
“I wasn’t aware you had children of your own.” Castiel studied Dean’s face.  
“My car,” Dean clenched his fists again, “Take me to my car.”  
He looked at Casey’s body, “And get rid of that.”  
Castiel firstly disappeared with the body, but swiftly returned and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. He transported him to just outside the vampire nest, and Dean grinned at the sight of his car.  
“Thanks,” Dean said quietly, stroking the Impala affectionately as he got to the door, “Sorry, baby. Didn’t wanna leave ya.”  
He started the engine and looked at Castiel, who just standing there and staring.  
“Are you coming or what?”  
Castiel walked to the car door and stared at it intently, his hand hovering a few inches from the door handle as if figuring out how it worked. Dean rolled his eyes and opened it for him, and Castiel got in the front seat.  
“Why is the vehicle still stationary?” Castiel looked at Dean.  
“Put your seatbelt on, Cas,” Dean said abruptly, “I don’t want- Why are you looking at me like that?”  
Castiel’s usually narrowed eyes had widened, and were striving to process something, “You called me Cas.”  
“Uh, yeah. I guess I did,” Dean frowned, but shrugged it off, “So what? Castiel’s too long?”  
Castiel’s expression softened slightly as Dean started the car and drove back to Sam’s house. The drive took an hour at most, and Dean hoped Sam wouldn’t notice how long he’d been gone.  
In fact, Sam had been too busy to notice. He had fed Rose, then replaced the salt in the house with even more, and was relieved to find the corpse gone. He hadn’t considered how Dean had got it out of the house, but he didn’t care. After that, he sat on his bed with Rose laid on his chest in silence. He had both arms around her, unable to think about anything except the danger his daughter was in. He’d lost all faith in himself after the foolish action earlier that day. Thanks to this, his fear of demons had heightened a little, even though he was sure he could remember all his knowledge of them. He was sure he’d be able to defeat one if necessary.  
Castiel disappeared the moment Dean pulled up outside Sam’s house, and he wondered why he’d even got into the car to start with. The car journey had mostly been an awkward silence, with the exception of Dean’s music. Castiel had questioned the music, but was quickly shut up by a sharp remark from the driver. Sam answered the door to Dean with one arm supporting Rose’s weight.  
“Is she gone?” Sam asked quietly.  
“At rest,” Dean confirmed, although he wasn’t sure what Castiel had done, “Who was she?”  
Sam stood back to let Dean inside, “Jess’s friend. She went to Stanford.”  
“Got any beers?” Dean professionally changed the subject.  
“Knock yourself out,” Sam sighed, sitting on the couch and watching his baby daughter sleep.  
“Tell me it isn’t so,” Sam smirked at Dean’s exclamation. He knew exactly what he’d just seen. He entered the room, presenting the plate of pie to his brother before sitting down by him, “You actually remembered!”


	7. Chapter 7

“Did you miss me, Rosie?” Dean asked as he plucked the baby up, cradling her in his arms, empty plate left before him. “’cause I missed you.”  
“She likes lying on chests,” Sam spoke quietly, watching the scene play out from behind his cup of coffee. “I think she likes the heartbeat, lets her sleep faster.”  
Dean gently shifted the baby so her head was just tucked in below his neck, her tiny little hand made its way up his shirt till it rested by her cheek. It pulled a proud smile out of the older brother. Dean looked over to see Sammy watching him and couldn’t help being a little more relaxed; some of the things Sam had said, had done – well it had worried his brother. It must have been hard for him, losing his wife like that, but he shouldn’t take it out on his daughter, should make an effort, one he was glad to see was finally happening.   
“You did good, Sammy,” Dean gestured to the ceiling.  
“One in every room,” Sam smirked. He hadn’t forgotten how to be a hunter, how to be careful. He didn’t think he ever would. “Good thing I did considering the fiasco with the salt,” Sam sighed, hunching over slightly, feeling so idiotic. What point was there in trying to defend his daughter if he was just going to brush aside that the first time he saw a familiar face?  
“Hey,” Dean nudged Sam sharply. “Yes it was a stupid move, but it worked out. No use crying over spilt milk.”   
“I know, but-“  
“Look, the black eyed bitch-”   
“Don’t call her that,” Sam warned, interrupting. Casey wasn’t some unknown victim to Sam. She’d been a friend. A friend that deserved respect.  
“At least you trapped the bi-demon,” Dean emphasised with an eye roll at Sam’s glare. “- before she could do any harm. Better than letting her do more damage.” The older brother was worriedly watching Sam as he subconsciously stroked Rose’s fingers with his thumb.  
“I guess,” Sam mumbled, finishing his coffee and heading into the kitchen. Dean shook his head discreetly and turned his attention to his niece; she’d started to wriggle and whimper. The tears began when he’d finished rearranging her.   
“What’s up, hmm?” he asked softly.  
“Diaper,” Sam said instantly as he walked back into the room.   
“Nice,” Dean’s expression turned to a slight grimace. “Here we go Daddy,” Dean said trying to pass the baby back even as Sam started backing away, hand raised.   
“She hasn’t seen you in a while. Maybe she wants you to do it,” Sam smirked, and Dean glared before shaking his head in amusement.   
“Whatever,” he stood up. “Right, looks like you got me on diaper duty, Rosie, let’s get you cleaned up.”  
A small smile grew on Sam’s lips, and he went to wash up.  
Dean returned downstairs with Rose in one arm, wearing a fresh onesie and a hat with ears.  
“Y’know, Dean, a diaper change means you only change the diaper. She doesn’t need a full change of clothes all the time,” Sam leaned against the living room doorway as Dean sat down. He brushed some hair from his eyes and frowned. “Where did you find those?”  
After Dean had found the set of storybooks, Sam had committed himself to properly look through a bunch of boxes and bags that Jess had stored in Rose’s room. After this search, he found numerous things he hadn’t even been aware that Jess had bought. He’d found clothes, toys, stuffed animals and other objects. Most of the clothes were toddler size, and there were even a few dresses large enough for a five or seven year old. Sam had thought he was aware of all the clothes Rose had, but he didn’t recognise the ones Rosie was wearing at all.   
“Bought ‘em,” Dean grinned. “Had some spare cash, so I thought I’d get Rose her first present from her favourite Uncle.”  
Sam smiled, “Thanks, Dean. Let’s see.”  
Dean laid Rose on her back on the couch to allow the youngest Winchester to inspect the new outfit. Sam had to admit, it was pretty adorable; pale pink in colour, white cats printed across it and the hat had small triangular ears. Sam never would have chosen it but then again, Dean had always been Dean.   
“Cute,” Sam reached and tenderly stroked Rose’s cheek with one finger, “I think she likes it.”  
“Of course she does, it’s from me. You’re welcome Rosie,” Dean smiled at Sam, lifting Rose again. For the first time, Rose’s mouth spread into a small smile, and Dean began to laugh quietly.  
“See? Proof. I am her favourite person. She smiled at me before anyone else!” he said triumphantly. “Uncle Dean is the greatest,” Sam deadpanned with a roll of his eyes. “But how do you know she hasn’t already smiled at me before?”   
“Well, has she?” Dean’s eyes widened a moment, afraid of losing the tiny piece of glory.  
“Nope,” Sam shrugged.  
“Well then,” Dean winked, but quickly tired of the subject, “Is there a park or something here?”  
“Yeah, not far. Why?”  
“We should take her on a little outing tomorrow,” Dean suggested, “The most she gets out is to the supermarket, and even then probably in the car.”  
Sam sighed, pushing away from the wall and sitting on the couch, “I don’t have the energy for going out unless I have to.”  
“It’d do you good, Sammy. And her,” Dean’s eyes were soft as he looked at his niece, whose smile had since disappeared, “Sittin’ around and doing jack squat is helping nothing.”  
“Dean-”  
“We’ll go out to that park tomorrow, wherever it is. And if you’re a good boy, I’ll get you ice cream,” Dean’s boyish grin appeared on his face, but it only frustrated Sam further.  
“Hilarious,” he mumbled, going to prepare dinner.  
Dean sat at the dining table with the steak and fries cooked by Sam, eating messily and as if his plate was about to get snatched from him any second. Opposite him sat his brother, no plate or food in front of him. Rose observed the scene from the baby chair on the table. Sam knew she hated that thing, but at that moment he wasn’t in the mood to hold her.  
“Where’s your food?” Dean said through a mouthful of steak. Sam strived not to gag.  
“Not hungry,” he said instantly. He thought he’d got out of this phase. The first few days at home on his own with Rose, Sam had almost completely lost his appetite, but he was beginning get back to normal.   
“Eat,” Dean said sternly.   
“I don’t want to,” Sam childishly turned away from him, looking down at the table instead of meeting his big brother’s eyes.   
“Why the hell not?” Dean scowled a little, concern bleeding through as he looked over Sam more thoroughly. “Hey, when was the last time you ate?”   
The younger brother refused to answer properly, just mumbling “Earlier,” to get Dean off his case.   
“Sam,” the older Winchester narrowed his eyes, kicking his brother under the table. “This is serious, when did you last eat.”  
In all honesty, the younger brother couldn’t really remember the last time he’d eaten more than a few mouthfuls. It wasn’t that he was trying not to eat more, there were always other things to do, to think about, his own eating habits never crossed his mind. Sam had lost himself so deep in thought that it took Dean slamming a hand on the table to grab his attention, startling the both of them.   
Sam turned back to face him, “I’m sorry.”  
“You’re not,” Dean snapped, “It’s happening again. You’re just like him.”  
Sam didn’t need a name to know who he was referring to, “I’m nothing like him.”  
“Letting your wife’s death take over? Remind you of anyone?” Dean stared at him long and hard. “You need to take care of her. And yourself. Take Rosie out, even if it’s for like five minutes to start with. She needs to get out, so do you.”  
Sam nodded in acknowledgement.  
“And for crying out loud. Eat!” Dean pushed away his empty plate.  
“Dean, I…”  
“Don’t make me force feed you, because I will,” Dean glared.  
“Alright, alright,” Sam raised his hands in surrender, “I’ll eat, go out, whatever. I normally eat. Just right now I don’t want to. I’ll eat later.”  
“You better,” Dean narrowed his eyes.  
It took a few hours, but eventually Sam kept to his word and made himself a grilled cheese sandwich after bathing Rose and putting her to bed. He struggled to sleep that night, just like the first nights alone. The bed felt too empty, and one morning woke to find himself holding her pillow. He stared at the ceiling in the pitch black room, allowing every thought, negative or otherwise, to rush around his head. Memories were running around in his head, thoughts, senses, her smell just getting too much for him. His mind was wired. Sleep was out of the question, thanks to the numerous amounts of coffee. Instead, Sam gave up, carefully sliding out of bed and walking downstairs, he pulled up his laptop, the bright light making his eyes sting as he adjusted and started flicking through the news. He’d been out of the world for too long as it was, maybe Dean was right, maybe he should start acting normal when he felt the opposite. They had never been normal; was it too much to ask that his wife and child may be?   
The first few news articles were boring, the standard misery woe and corruption that ran rife throughout the world but there was one that stood out above the rest, one article that instantly raised the hairs on the back of his neck, one he had spent the last five years turning his back from.   
WISCONSIN MYSTERY CLAIMS SECOND VICTIM  
Instead of clicking away, instead of hoping his brother and father would see to it like he had before, he viewed the article becoming more and more convinced that this was something more than met the eye. Two people had died in a town near Milwaukee. The first had been a man in his late thirties, Daniel Clearwater, who had gouged his own eyes out before later dying in hospital from an unexpected infection. It was stressed that Daniel had been in intensive care, and extremely careful measures were taken to prevent infection. Sam began to make a note of the story before reading on. The second victim, a woman in her mid-twenties, Katie Wilson, was found dead after scalping herself and slashing her wrists with the same blade. She was known to be a work colleague of the first victim. From Sam’s experience, he was sure Dean and his expertise would be more effective in resolving the issue than any officer. The brother saved the file before shutting his laptop.   
Just as Sam got back into bed, Rose woke and began to get restless, her whimpers quickly escalating into loud wails. Sitting up again, he lifted the baby from her crib, gently rocking her. She quietened down as he held her, but Sam knew what she really wanted was to be fed.  
“Rosie okay?” Dean mumbled from his bedroom doorway, half asleep, as Sam crept to the kitchen in almost pitch black.  
“Just hungry,” Sam whispered in reply.  
“Awesome,” Dean shuffled back to bed and began snoring a couple seconds before his head hit the pillow.  
Sam sat at the kitchen counter to feed Rose, who seemed to finish the bottle in record timing. The table became a welcoming resting place, and Sam was forced to fight the urge to let himself sleep where he was. He got himself upstairs to the comfort of his bed. As he walked to his room, Sam’s tired mind contemplated the potential danger of allowing Rose to share his bed for the remainder of the night. He’d hated the empty feeling of the bed, and perhaps Rose would wake less because she was by him. But he was terrified of waking up to find he crushed her in his sleep. He shook his head to eliminate the thought and put Rose safely to bed before getting into his own and finally falling asleep.  
\--

It was a surprise for the youngest brother to come downstairs to Dean mid-way through making breakfast for the family.   
“Morning, Sammy,” Dean said loudly, briefly looking in his brother’s direction before returning his attention to the cooking bacon. He glanced back over to Rose. “Good morning, little lady.”  
Rose’s blue eyes stared at her uncle for a few moments, but an unnerved Dean looked away at the memories of Castiel staring back at him.

Sam placed Rose in the baby chair on the dining table and went to get plates for their breakfasts.  
“How do bacon sandwiches sound?” Dean took the plates from Sam and placed two slices on each one, spreading an excessive amount of butter on each slice. Sam was certain he felt his heart clench just looking at it.  
“So get this, Dean,” Sam began, “I think I-”  
“Breakfast is served,” Dean announced proudly, placing a plate in front of his brother, “Eat up, Sammy. Need your protein.”  
“I think I found a case for you, Dean,” Sam said after a few bites of his sandwich.  
“Really now. Tryin’ to get rid of me?” Dean teased, and Sam subtly clenched his fist.  
“If you’d listen,” he said as calmly as he could manage, “Two people in a town outside Milwaukee died, and-”  
“Sounds thrilling, I’m sure,” Dean grinned.  
“Dean, please,” he sighed in exasperation, “Let me finish.”  
Dean raised his hands in surrender and shrugged, gesturing for Sam to continue.  
“The first died in hospital from an infection,” Sam raised his hand before Dean could comment, “But only after gouging his own eyes out.”  
“The hell?” Dean frowned. “How did he even do that?”  
“Who cares how, Dean? The second victim scalped herself and slashed her wrists.”  
“Any connection?” Dean took a bite of his sandwich and leaned back in his seat.  
“Work colleagues. That’s all so far,” Sam shrugged, “I’ll show you the article.”

 

After the rest of the morning was spent on more research and a few phone calls, Dean called Bobby to talk it over while Sam watched over his daughter. Dean assumed that Sam would want to stay home with Rose, and he respected that. He wasn’t exactly keen on bringing a baby to a case, and he doubted Bobby would babysit even if Dean really wanted to be on the road with him again, just the two of them, brothers.

\---  
Bobby arrived at Sam’s house as the day began to darken. The moment the call had ended he’d been on his way. Sam had no choice but to set up the couch for the older hunter, Dean having already established his own room. It wasn’t like they’d be spending long at Sam’s house anyway.   
Bobby parked outside Sam’s house and looked at it in awe. Kid had done good, made a valiant effort to leave it all behind, Bobby would have been happy to never see him again if it meant he got out.   
“You did well, boy,” he muttered to himself before getting out his car and walking slowly to door There was anticipation in his stomach as he climbed the steps, an eagerness to see Sam, Dean had never been the same without his brother. It’d be nice to see both the idiots just smile for once. They were still only kids really.  
“Go get the door, Sammy,” Dean said nodding towards it as he stroked Rose’s fingers. The two brothers had spent the day out, and Sam had shown Dean around the city. Rose had stayed calm and quiet in her stroller, going between peaceful sleep and inquisitive consciousness. Dean had noticed Castiel a few times, walking in a crowd or standing from a distance, watching the stroller intently. Dean was slightly relieved that Sam hadn’t. The oldest Winchester went over to the angel once when Sam was in a queue, said hello, asked him what he was doing.   
Castiel had blinked, tilted his head to the side, squinted and said, “Watching over you.” It was creepy enough for Dean to just nod and leave him to it.   
The more they unravelled about the case, the more disconcerting it became. The deaths occurred just two days apart, and both just as they arrived home from work. There seemed to be no trigger or indication as to why they did what they did.  
Sam went to the door, letting out a shaking breath as he reached to open it. There was a moment that seemed much longer than it actually was when all they did was stare at each other. Bobby had barely changed at all, wearing a baseball cap and the same beard that never seemed to have changed since Sam could remember. Sam, however, had changed so much since Bobby had last seen him. His boyish, teenage looks had since disappeared, and his hair seemed to have been left to grow out. The wide, inquisitive eyes had become dull and tired. Stubble lined the young lawyer’s jaw, something Bobby was sure he had never seen on him before, and he quickly realised. The boy he’d taken to the ball parks and on fishing trips was long gone. Sam Winchester had definitely grown up.  
“It’s good to see ya,” Bobby’s gruff voice broke the silence, and he pulled Sam into a hug. “So good to see ya.”  
“You too, Bobby,” Sam whispered, closing his eyes tight. “Come in.”  
Bobby couldn’t help but take a few moments to look at his surroundings, the same as Dean had.   
“Nice place,” he commented boldly. Sam stood awkwardly, his shoulders hunched as he thought of what to say. There was so much and yet no place to start.  
“Want a beer, Bobby?” Dean passed Rose to her father and nodded for him to take Bobby in the living room. Sam waited for Bobby’s response before sitting on the couch.  
“Sure,” Bobby shrugged, following Sam into the room. Rose let out a single cry before wriggling and settling again on Sam’s chest. Bobby properly noticed the baby for the first time since he’d arrived.  
“Saw the pictures you sent,” the old hunter nodded towards Rose, “Cute kid.”  
Sam couldn’t help but smile, “Like her mom.”  
“Dean seems kinda fond,” the old hunter raised his eyebrows at Dean as he gave him a can of beer and taking the baby from his brother straight away.  
“He is. He’s good with her. She settles down with him quicker,” Sam looked to his brother with a hint of envy. Dean snorted.  
“Just ‘cause I’m her favourite person doesn’t mean you’re not good with her too. I mean, you pretty much know what every cry means,” he shrugged. “She totally loves you, y’know.”  
“Well, yer both doin’ a good job,” Bobby nodded, opening the beer can. “’Specially you, Sam. Given circumstances.”  
Sam nodded. “I’m managing.”  
Bobby shook his head. “Ya look like crap.”  
Sam hadn’t noticed his weight loss, but it was one of the most prominent things about him to those who knew him best, had known him before. His cheek bones stuck out, and his whole face was gaunt with dark circles underneath his eyes. Dean thought better than to verbally agree with Bobby’s statement. Sam sighed at the comment and looked at his feet, not enjoying the attention. He accepted Rose back and held her close to his chest as if he were the child and she his comforter. Bobby’s expression softened a little.  
“Y’wanna see what Sam found for us?” Dean pitched. He’d already said his peace about this. The relief was obvious in his brother’ eyes when the attention moved away from him. He carried on cuddling his daughter close to his chest, and she nestled close to his warmth. He smiled to himself and held her hand his finger and thumb.  
Sam was tired, slipping away when the hunters started pouring over the research. This was something he hadn’t missed, he thought as he slipped his daughter into her crib and let the mutterings of the two people he trusted most in the world lull him into some much needed sleep.   
Rose’s crying at 7am managed to wake the whole house up. Bobby was tempted to yell for Sam to shut her up, but after reasoning with himself he realised it wasn’t exactly appropriate, or fair on the young father. Despite the noise irritating him, he knew Sam would sort it out.  
Bobby had never pictured either of the boys starting a family, even though a normal life was what he’d wanted most for them, all their lives. He’d wanted them to marry, have children, but life never really worked like that. Seeing Sam holding his baby daughter and caring for her was a bit too left-field for Bobby, yet watching him relieved him and made something clench in his chest . Sam had achieved what he’d wanted for him, and was doing well. Considering.  
Sam went downstairs as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Bobby further, and as quickly as he could he warmed Rose’s bottle. The cries had reduced to feeble whimpers, but disappeared completely as she began to feed. Once she had finished, Sam put the bottle away and found Bobby watching him.  
“Ya alright?” Bobby asked quietly. “Got used to the early wake up calls yet?”  
“I’m getting there,” Sam looked at Rose, nestled into her father’s chest with her eyes fixated on the wall. “All part of the job I guess.”  
“You’ll manage. We all manage with what we get,” Bobby shrugged suddenly looking his age. It was a tiny reminder that the man himself had once had a wife, knew how it felt to lose her. Well, there was always something to get them into hunting and it was never pretty.   
“Did you want kids, Bobby?” Sam asked in a small voice, never wanting to push him on the issue, never really asking him about his life before.   
“Sam,” Bobby sounded so exhausted in that one word.   
“I’m sorry,” Sam added quickly. “That wasn’t fair to ask.”   
The older man got up and pattered over to where the young father still stood, cradling his daughter. Bobby smirked a little when two giant eyes focused on him and gently ruffled her hair. “I got you boys, that’s all that matters.”   
Sam nodded, smile growing on his own cheeks before a stab of guilt. “I’m sorry. For not calling, not telling you about Jess or the baby –“  
Bobby nodded. “S’alright. I get it, I do. Ain’t an easy life we live, sometimes it’s just better to just leave it all behind, pretend there isn’t a monster in the closest.”   
“Bobby, I didn’t mean-” Sam hastened to amend but the older man didn’t give him the chance.   
“Yeah ya did and I can’t blame ya. If I coulda stayed with Karen, lived that life –“ he paused to look up at Sam with such deep eyes. “I wouldn’t have bet on me ever becoming this. And that don’t mean I’m not glad for you boys, it just means what it does.”   
“Who’s making breakfast?” Dean came downstairs, “Oh, sorry, did I interrupt a chick flick moment?”  
“No,” Bobby and Sam said in unison.  
“Well then, get on breakfast, Sammy,” Dean grinned, taking Rose and gesturing for Sam to get to work.  
“I think I see her Dad in her,” Dean said to Bobby as they both walked to the living room, “Poor kid.”  
Bobby folded his bed sheets and put them in the corner.  
“Yeah, like your kids would be prettier,” Bobby snorted.  
“Hey, I never said she wasn’t pretty,” Dean gently bounced Rosie and rubbed her back, “But imagine if she gets a mane like his.”  
“Yeesh,” Bobby shuddered, sitting down and flicking the TV on, “Now that would be somethin’.”  
“What would be weird?” Sam asked as he started bringing the food through.   
“If Rose doesn’t grow up as awesome as her uncle,” Dean smiled innocently.  
“Right…” Sam frowned.  
\--  
Dean and Bobby left after breakfast, deciding that there was definitely something up there, even if they weren’t sure what it was. He wasn’t so worried this time. Bobby and Dean could look out for each other. This time, Dean didn’t have to fight alone.

It had been a while since he’d gone to the store, enough so that when he reached into the box for another diaper whilst changing Rose he found out there was only one left. What Dean had said earlier stuck in his head and he prepared the stroller for a walk down to the store. Maybe the fresh air would do him some good. Some of Sam’s neighbours greeted him, glad to see him after he seemed to disappear for the past few weeks. A family a few doors down knew Jessica’s family and word of her death had spread. It was clear they were unsure whether to go ask him about it or leave him be. Sam wasn’t sure which was better anymore.   
Sam didn’t stop to talk, and instead went straight to the store after a few quick greetings. He already felt a little better, just with the short walk to the store, and Rose had easily settled down to sleep in her stroller. He had aimed to only buy some more diapers, but ended up buying more food for Dean. He made his way to the cashier after overfilling the stroller’s basket, but accidentally drove the stroller into someone as he allowed his mind to wander. She gasped, yelping as her foot was run over and dropped her almost-empty basket. Sam immediately went to her aid.  
“I’m sorry,” he gasped, “I wasn’t concentrating. Are you alright?”  
Brown eyes looked up at him through a sheet of dark hair. Sam helped her up and picked up her basket for her. “S’alright. Happens to all of us,” she smiled at him. He found himself smiling back, but began to feel guilty about it almost immediately.  
“Cute baby,” she nodded, “What’s her name?”  
“Rose,” Sam choked out, “And I’m Sam.”  
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sam Winchester,” her smile grew as she reached to shake his hand. “Call me Ruby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love your thoughts so please review and let me know what you think! :D Thanks a million squillion to my awesome beta, swoopswoop, who always helps out so much :D


	8. Chapter 8

“I hate witches,” Dean mumbled, the older hunter grunting in response. It hadn’t taken long to find the first hex bag and once they knew what they were looking for to find the rest. “Can’t they settle their problems without creepy magic? I mean is it that hard?”  
“I’ve seen less for worse,” Bobby snapped, “But it sure is hard hearing ya yappin’ about it for the past, what, three hours?”  
While Bobby had gone to talk to the families of the victims, Dean had paid a visit to the workplace that both vic’s had worked at. A blonde receptionist caught Dean’s eye as he entered the building, her warm smile dropping the moment he flashed his fake FBI ID.  
“You’re here about the deaths, right?” she asked quietly, dark blue eyes wide, “I thought the cops already came.” “Just need more information to establish any more connections between the victims,” Dean cleared his throat, wearing his authoritative persona, feeling a little trapped in the monkey suit.  
“It’s awful, isn’t it?” she sighed, running her hands through her hair and shaking it out.  
“I know,” Dean strived to focus on the case, not those penetrating blue eyes. There was something about them that called to him. “Tragedy. We’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t worry, ma’am.”  
“I’m sure you will,” the receptionist’s voice turned a little darker for a moment, “I’m Melissa Green, I’d be happy to tell you what I know. I knew them both. They were…friends.” There was inflection there, something she wasn’t quite saying.  
“Thank you, we’d appreciate that,” Dean smiled at her, and her eyes stayed fixated on him as she drew up a chair.  
“Please, sit,” she said quietly ,“What would you like to know?”  
“Erm…” Dean accidently allowed himself to become slightly distracted as the receptionist leaned forwards. He blinked a few times before regaining focus, a smile playing on his lips. “You said you were friends with the victims. Were they…close to each other?”  
“Oh, yeah,” Melissa nodded dramatically, batting her false eyelashes several times and staring into Dean’s eyes, “Real close.”  
“Friends?” Dean leaned away slightly, “More than that?”  
“They were together,” Melissa wrinkled her nose in disgust for a split second, “That close.”  
“Right.”  
“Don’t know if his wife knew, but she seemed to disappear right around the time the bodies were found,” Melissa’s face morphed into shock, “Oh my God…you don’t think?”  
The mention of a wife caused everything to slot into place for Dean.  
“Do you know the wife’s name, perhaps?”  
“Sure. Kim Clearwater,” Melissa shrugged, “Not the nicest woman in the world.”  
“Thanks for your time,” Dean smiled respectfully, “It’ll be a great help.”  
“You’re welcome, sweets,” she grinned, clearly not have been as affected as she seemed initially. “Good luck with the investigation.”  
Dean didn’t see much point in talking to anyone else at the workplace, as he felt he’d found all her needed from talking to Melissa. He spoke to a few other employees, who didn’t give half the detail Melissa had. It seemed the two preferred to keep to themselves and not mingle with the others. As he left the building, slightly glad to get away from Melissa creeping on him, Dean called Bobby.  
“What ya got, Bobby?” he questioned the moment the old hunter picked up.  
“The guy was havin’ an affair with the girl, I think,” Bobby grunted, “His family told me he had a wife, Kim. But Katie’s family tell me she was goin’ out with the other vic.”  
“Yeah, receptionist at the workplace told me,” Dean shrugged, “And wifey did a disappearing act just after Daniel died and Katie’s body was found.  
“Sounds like the wife ain’t happy to me,” Bobby concluded.  
“Sounds like the wife ain’t heard of divorce. Or marriage counselling,” Dean commented.  
“I’ll meet ya back at the motel. Gotta find this wife before she uses her magic on anyone else that pisses her off.”  
Dean brought back a couple of beers, and after hours of attempting to track down Kim Clearwater, both him and Bobby were growing tired of the lack of results. She’d practically dropped off the grid, no one knew where she’d gone, or what she was doing.  
“Wonderful,” Dean muttered, “Could use a decent computer. Like Sam’s.”  
“Then call im up,” Bobby looked over at him.  
“Yeah, ‘cause going back to Sam’s won’t take hours,” Dean snorted.  
“No, yet idjit,” Bobby snapped, “Get Sam to do it. Kid’s been good with computers and crap since he could first type.”  
“Sam doesn’t want to be part of this, Bobby. I won’t force him,” Dean turned serious. That boy was going through enough and with what Cas was saying, there was more to go through yet.  
“We’re not askin’ the boy to kill some creature. Just help out. He can always say no. Ain’t forcin’ him.”  
Bobby dialled Sam’s number before Dean could dispute further.

“Everything okay, Bobby?” Sam asked, holding Rose in one arm and holding the phone in the other hand.  
“We need yer help, boy,” Bobby didn’t like to wait around.  
“Bobby, I-”  
The older hunter interrupted before he could get his defence on. Bobby would never know what it was with these boys but they didn’t half no how to complain. “Nothin’ serious. Not like we’re getting’ ya out here with us…” Bobby began, but Dean snatched the phone.  
“We need to track down the wife of the first victim. She’s our main suspect. We found hex bags.”  
Sam couldn’t help but smirk at the mention of witches, and Dean’s voice gave away the disgust.  
“Why can’t you do it? I might be busy, you know,” he frowned.  
“Don’t pull that bullshit on me, Sammy. You’re doing nothing. In fact, sitting around being miserable most likely.” Dean rolled his eyes, “We have no computer, except the lame excuses for technology in libraries and crap.”  
Sam sighed sharply, pissed at his inability to stand his ground, “Fine. But that’s all I’m doing.”  
He opened the laptop unenthusiastically and sat down.  
“How’s Rosie?” Dean asked a little worriedly, he didn’t like not being able to see her. In his line of work he knew how hard it was to keep those around you alive, let alone the ones miles and miles away.  
“Same as when you last saw her,” Sam shrugged, placing Rose in her travel carrier.  
“Alright,” Dean accepted failure, “The wife’s name is Kim Clearwater.”  
Sam nodded and got onto it the moment his laptop loaded up. He stayed in contact with Dean as he worked, working his IT skills that he hadn’t put into practise for years. He simply hadn’t needed the computer for anything besides studying and skyping Jess when they were apart. In truth, he found the little snippets of conversation with Dean more entertaining than his days home alone with his daughter.  
“Alright, I got her,” Sam murmured. “She’s recently used her credit card.”  
“Good job,” Dean nodded to Bobby. “Where is she?”  
Sam read the screen for a moment and frowned. “Dean, when did Daniel gouge his eyes out? What time?”  
“Erm…they said he called 911 for himself at ‘bout 4pm. Why?”  
“She’s been-”  
Sam’s voice trailed away at a knock at the door.  
“Sam? What is she? Sam,” Dean demanded like a petulant child.  
“Wait,” Sam shook his head. “Someone’s at the door.”  
“Sam!” Dean complained but his brother was already walking over to the door. The moment he did, he wished he hadn’t, quickly putting on a smile even if he didn’t feel it. A surprised visit from the Moore’s was the last thing he needed.  
“Sam!” Sue smiled ecstatically, “How are you? How has little Rosie been?”  
“Can’t you see he’s on the phone, Sue?” Peter whispered, mouthing a quick “sorry” to Sam, “Give him a moment.”  
“Sam! Tell me where the fuck that bitch is or so help me!” Dean yelled loud enough for the Moores to hear. Both widened their eyes and took a small step back. Sam, completely mortified, disconnected the call with a guilty wince and put his phone in his pocket. He certainly wasn’t looking forward to calling his brother back.  
“Sorry,” Sam said, a little sheepishly.  
“Is…everything okay?” Sue’s face expressed concern and slight fear.  
“Just my brother, a girl stole his car, he’s trying to find it,” Sam shrugged, staring at the floor. “Please, come in. Would you like coffee or something?”  
He stood back to allow his mother and father-in-law inside, who stepped gingerly over the salt lines without mentioning them. Sam internally winced whenever Sue looked around, afraid of what she was going to find next.  
“Coffee sounds great,” Peter smiled as Sue pushed past him into the living room, “Thank you.”  
“Of course,” Sam replied politely, going to the kitchen as Sue let out a small squeal.  
“Oh, here she is!” she cooed, and Sam returned to the room after a few minutes to find her bouncing Rose gently in her arms. Peter nodded politely and took his coffee from Sam, and Sue smiled at him  
“Just put it over there, dear,” she said softly. Rose was awake and watching her father from her grandmother’s shoulder. She smiled briefly, and Sam found himself smiling back. He got distracted, however, as he noticed Peter inspecting the contents of the laptop’s screen.  
“What’s that?” he pointed to the tracked movements of Kim Clearwater’s credit card.  
“Erm. Some…” Sam hadn’t prepared a cover story, “Some dumb game. Dean got me into it.”  
He quickly snapped the laptop shut, but Peter didn’t seem convinced.  
“How has she been?” Sue’s voice was sing-song and soft as she stroked Rose’s back, Peter looking at the pair from a seat beside his wife.  
“Good,” Sam nodded, “Really good.”  
“She’s definitely grown,” Peter looked fondly at his small granddaughter.  
“Her clothes are starting to fit properly now,” Sam told them, his voice almost shy.  
“Well, you are a tiny little thing, aren’t you?” Sue whispered to Rose, who stared at her intently, “Aw, Peter, I think she’s got our Jessica’s eyes.”  
“And her hair,” Peter sat closer and stroked Rose’s blonde tufts of hair. Sam sat in silence, unsure if he should try and make conversation, or if they preferred to just talk to the baby instead. Tears trickled down Sue’s cheeks, no doubt at memories of her daughter, and she stood and went to the mantelpiece. All the good in Jess had been passed down to their daughter, he understood how hard that made everything sometimes.  
“My sweet girl,” she whispered, touching the wedding photo with one finger, “Her life was just starting out. Getting a job, getting married, becoming a mother-“ she had to stop herself, her voice catching in her throat.  
Sam stared at the floor still unsure of his place in the family dynamic. He’d thought about his wife every day, naturally, but hadn’t had to experience someone else getting emotional over her. Sue’s freed tears only made things harder. Usually Rose, Sam’s living comforter, could help him calm down and keep himself together. He didn’t exactly have the heart to snatch his daughter back.  
“Oh,” Sue murmured, looking at the two newest photos on the mantelpiece; Dean and Rose, and Rose just a day after she was born. “What lovely photos. Why aren’t you in a picture with her, Sam?”  
The attention was thrust on him, and he wanted it to go away again. “Haven’t had the time, I guess.”  
“We’ll take one now. Get your camera, Peter,” Rose was placed in her father’s arms while Sue rummaged through Peter’s bag on his behalf.  
“Oh, no, really,” Sam shook his head, discreetly cuddling Rose close affectionately.  
“We want a nice picture of you both,” Sue smiled as Peter prepared the camera. “We’ll send you a copy.”  
Sam gave up and relaxed a little, lying Rose on his chest as he knew she preferred.  
“Perfect,” Sue sighed happily, and Sam gently held his daughter’s hand. At Sue’s silent command, Peter carried on taking photos of Sam and Rose while they seemed to be in their own world, oblivious of everyone else around them.

Dean was pacing back and forth in his motel room as Bobby watched on in boredom. He’d called his brother back numerous times without success, and he was struggling to keep his anger and concern inside.  
“Sounds like someone’s keen to talk,” Peter remarked after the third tone Sam ignored.  
“My brother. He’s meant to be working,” Sam shrugged.  
“You can call him back if you like. No trouble,” Sue offered, smiling softly while Sam patted Rose’s back soothingly.  
“It’s alright,” Sam sighed guiltily. “It can wait.”  
Sam was well aware that in fact it couldn’t wait, but he wasn’t exactly able to track a woman’s credit card with company around. He began to dread the time he’d have to call Dean back even more.  
He was right to feel that way.

“Stupid son of a bitch,” Dean mumbled.  
“Maybe the kid needed a diaper or somethin’,” Bobby suggested gruffly, getting a little tired of Dean’s rants.  
“Diaper changes don’t take half an hour,” Dean snapped back.  
“Whatever. But Sam’ll have good reason for hangin’ up on ya like that. Wouldn’t just do it to be a pain in the ass.”  
Dean shrugged, “He better not. Or he’s in deep shit.”  
He looked over to the bag of food Bobby had acquired.  
“Did you remember-”  
“The pie? Nope,” Bobby interrupted, “Get it yerself.”  
“Could life get any worse?” Dean whispered to himself, “C’mon, Bobby, even Sam remembered.”  
“Well, good fer Sam,” Bobby rolled his eyes, “Who are we, yer frickin’ servants?”  
\--  
Sue and Peter Moore stayed at Sam’s house for several hours. Rose remained curled up in Sam’s arms for the remainder of their visit, after not calming down until he took her. After emotional reminiscing, countless cups of coffee and discussing various topics, Sue and Peter finally left.  
“It’s been great to see you again, Sam,” Sue kissed his cheek. “Look after yourself.”  
She walked into the salt line and gasped, and was unable to keep quiet any longer, “What is this doing here?”  
“I spilled it,” Sam covered quickly.  
“Do you want me to clean it up for you?” she offered, raising her eyebrows in slight disgust.  
“It’s fine. I’ll do it,” Sam said hastily, stroking Rose’s hair and hoping no further explanations were necessary.  
“We wanted to invite you to ours for dinner,” Peter put his camera away and stood, facing Sam “On Sundays.”  
“Like Jessica used to. We want you and Rose to join us,” Sue smiled. “And, if your brother is home he’s also welcome.”  
“Thank you. I’ll tell Dean when I call him back. I’m sure she,” Sam looked at Rose, “would like to see you.”  
“I’m sure she would,” Sue gently stroked Rose’s cheek with one finger as she rested her hand on Sam’s chest. Rose stared at the wall before her eyes slowly closed.  
“We’ll see you Sunday, then,” Peter placed his hand on his son-in-law’s shoulder. Sue pulled him close, gently stroking his hair as if he were a child.  
“. You’re doing so well,” she whispered. “If you ever need help, just call.”  
“Thanks,” Sam nodded whether or not he believed her or not about his skills, the offer of a reliable babysitter was one he appreciated truly.  
“Take care of your Daddy, little one,” Sue cooed softly to Rose.  
Sam watched Jessica’s parents drive away, lifting his hand in a small wave before returning to the table and opening up his laptop. He winced at the prospect of calling his brother back but bit the bullet and did so, trying to look for the same page he’d gotten the information from before.  
“Finally! Where the hell you been, Sam? People’s lives could be at risk, damn it!”  
“Dean,” Sam heard Bobby in the background. “Hear ‘im out. Kid’s probably got a good reason.”  
“He better have,” Dean growled.  
“Jess’s parents turned up. I couldn’t just kick them out, I’m doing you a favour here.”  
Dean rolled his eyes. “Well, where is the psycho wife then?”

“And?” Dean said expectantly, “Where is she?”  
“So get this,” Sam said checking over the information once more. “She’s out of state.”  
“We knew that genius,” Dean pressed but Sam wasn’t done yet.  
“No, Dean. She’s been out of state for over a month. There’s no way she could have done this, definitely not alone.”  
“Well crap,” Dean moaned, mostly to himself. Turning to Bobby, “Dead end.”  
“Balls.”  
“Sorry Dean,” Sam said honestly, he had enjoyed being able to help out, even from afar.  
“Thanks anyway Sammy.”

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Sam said, his voice genuine.. Despite not being prepared to actually go out and kill stuff, he wanted to help his brother as much as he could.  
Sam lifted Rose from her chair and laid her on his chest as usual. She briefly woke, but almost instantly fell asleep again. The silence of the room seemed to get more oppressive, and Sam was forced to switch on the TV just for some sound. This, however, disturbed the baby, who didn’t quieten until the TV was off again. Frustrated and stuck with nothing to do, Sam got out the pram and decided to go for a short walk to the park with Rose. 

There was a brisk wind to the air that hit the young father the minute he stepped out of the house. Looking down on his daughter, he took the time to check her blankets were wrapped tightly around her body, making sure her mittens were on her hands. Once he was satisfied she would be warm enough – a sick baby the last thing he wanted to deal with - he started walking over to the park.  
To Sam’s frustration, Rose managed to wiggle her way free from her blankets mere moment later.  
“Are you trying to catch pneumonia or something?” he sighed, tucking the blankets around her again. She smiled at him, kicking her legs almost in defiance. The smile softened Sam’s mood, and he smiled back at her, gently holding her mittened hand for a moment before carrying on his journey.  
As he walked through the park, a woman with three dogs in tow stumbled past. Her brown eyes and dark hair stood out to him, familiar, and she seemed to think the same.  
“Hey,” she smiled widely, managing to resist being dragged away by the three rather large dogs, “Sam, wasn’t it? And little Rose.”  
Sam nodded, slightly caught off guard, before he recognised the dark eyes, “Ruby, right?”  
“That’s me!” she shrugged lightly. “How is everything with her?”  
“Good. She’s doing good,” Sam stroked Rose’s soft cheek as she slept quietly.  
“Aw,” Ruby bent and looked in the pram, “Hey there!”  
Rose woke the moment Ruby came into contact with her hand.  
“Oh, sorry to wake you,” she whispered, then looked up at Sam. “She’s adorable.”  
Sam nodded and smiled a little, “I should probably get back. It’s getting colder, and she doesn’t seem to agree with her blankets.”  
He tucked the blankets around her again.  
“Yeah, I should get these guys back,” she nodded to the three dogs, one sitting patiently, one pulling at its leash and the other sniffing the pram.  
“All yours?” Sam asked, kneeling to pet the closest dog.  
“Nah, I’m a dogwalker,” Ruby said casually, “Gotta get cash somehow.”  
Sam nodded, gently rocking the pram.  
“Anyway, I gotta get going. See you around, Sam,” Ruby grinned at him, “C’mon, guys.”  
Sam watched her walk away, but regained his senses and began to make his own way home. When they returned home, Rose was plucked up into Sam’s arms, blankets and all, and held close to him in case she was cold. Rose nestled close, her hand escaping the maze of blankets and resting on his chest. Sam placed his finger on her palm and sat on the couch, a smile growing on his lips as the tiny fingers wrapped around his finger. He softly kissed her hand, beginning to enjoy the moment with his daughter. The warmth radiating from her soothed him, and he began to feel a lot better about fatherhood from it.  
Sam rolled his eyes when Dean called him again. He would go out of his way to help his brother, but he didn’t appreciate being interrupted in such moments.  
“Dean?” Sam sat on the couch with Rose seeming to stroke his chest.  
“Hey, Sammy,” Dean sighed, over the distinct hum of the Impala.  
“Are you driving?” Sam frowned in concern. Since becoming a father, things that were so normal to Dean terrified Sam. He hated the idea of Dean driving after a couple beers, even if it took a crazy amount of alcohol to affect him. Driving with a phone was just as bad.  
“Sure I am,” Dean shrugged, “Relax, Sammy. I’ve done it before. Not like Rosie’s in the car or anything.”  
“Do you need anything?” Sam asked quietly.  
“Nah, I’m just pissed and need a beer. We ran out. Bobby had the last one,” Dean sighed.  
“Any idea who the killer is?” Sam smiled as Rose let out a single, loud sound.  
“Hey, Rosie!” Dean grinned, “Wanted to say hi to Uncle Dean, huh?”  
“Dean,” Sam sighed.  
“Nothing, Sam. We found nothing,” Dean snapped, then sighed, “Sorry.”  
Dean leaned back in his seat.  
“You’ll find them,” Sam shrugged, “You always do.”  
Dean nodded, “Thanks, bro.”  
Sam began to reply, but the sound of wings and the sudden presence of another in the car caused Dean to drop his phone and gasp.  
“Hello, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Just a warning that I'll be away from 10th-20th September and so will not be updating then. I'll try to get Chapter 9 up before I go! And I will be writing as much as I can while I'm away so I'll hopefully have a chapter (or two) ready for you guys when I get home :)
> 
> Please review, let me know what you think! <3
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta, swoopswoop as usual ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay in this chapter being uploaded. As I mentioned before, I went to America! I have been writing more throughout my time in the US so expect a new chapter fairly soon :) Thanks for your patience.

"Damn it, Cas!" Dean huffed as he righted himself on the road. He took in a deep breath, trying to steady the thumping in his chest, "Trying to drive, here!"

The angel didn't apologise, simply tipping his head to the side with a curious frown. He didn't wait around, "Melissa Green was lying."

"What?" Dean shook his head, briefly taking his attention away from the road to meet Castiel's serious expression, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Castiel's eyes narrowed, "The woman felt anger at Daniel Clearwater's death. She wasn't grieving."

"What are you trying to say?" Dean leaned back in his seat, raising a hand before Castiel could speak, "In English. Not your usual cryptic angel talk crap.."

"Enochian," Castiel responded, seemingly offended.

"What?"

"Enochian. It is the language of the angels. If I were talking as an angel," Castiel said using quotation marks with his fingers. "It would be in Enochian."

"Okay C-3PO," Dean responded, shaking his eyebrows at the angel in his car. "Get to the point, would ya?"

"What is C-3PO?" Castiel asked belatedly.

"He's a robot, helps save the galaxy with a walking trash can." At Castiel's confused expression he added, "Never seen Star Wars?"

"I'm an angel of the Lord, Dean. I have spent the last millennia in heaven."

"Right," Dean nodded to himself. "So what were you saying?"

"Enochian is the language of the angels."

"Not that," Dean wanted to run a hand over his face. "The other thing."

"Right."

"What does Melissa have to do with Daniel? She mentioned they were friends."

"I believe they were more than meets the eye," the angel continued in his cryptic way.

"And?"

Castiel sighed in exasperation and clear frustration, "We should go to her house. She's currently elsewhere."

The angel reached a hand over to Dean, who yelped and ducked, closely missing another involuntary swerve, "Woah! What are you doing?"

"Taking you to her home."

"Not while I'm driving!" Dean snapped.

"I thought you wanted to find the killer?" Castiel raised his eyebrows, "Don't you want to protect the child?"

"What? Rosie? Of course I do!" Dean shot a glare in his direction. "But Melissa's house is, like, five minutes away."  
"Rose Winchester is at more risk the longer you're away," Castiel continued. "It is in our best interests to return to Sam as soon as possible."

"Sam can take care of his own daughter," Dean said defensively. "Cut him some slack, he's going through shit right now."

Castiel didn't answer, looking away from Dean for the first time since he'd dropped in. The oldest Winchester didn't quite realise how much the dude had been staring, a lot of the tension dissipating when Dean could breathe again. He didn't seem convinced, but the conversation was clearly over.

"Turn left," Castiel said out of the silence just as they were hitting a junction, forcing Dean to turn suddenly into a road. Luckily, the roads were quieter at that time. The angel carried on giving directions in a low monotone, and Dean half expected him to announce, "You have reached your destination," like one of those stupid GPS navigators.

Dean pulled up outside the house, but before he could so much as reach the handle he felt the world twist around him and looked over to see Castiel removing his hand. A quick glance at the new scenary told him they must be in the woman's living room.

"Dude, is walking through a door too human or something?" Dean frowned, feeling a little wobbly on his feet. He wasn't sure angel-travel was something he wanted to get used to, even if it was handy.

"I was saving time," Castiel's shoulders raised slightly, as if to shrug, but not fully. Either he hadn't mastered the technique yet or he'd given up, striking eyes tearing through the room as he looked around.

"Ten seconds? Real effective."

"Talking about this is wasting time, Dean," Castiel said over a glare. Dean let out a sharp sigh and began to search the house. Photos of Melissa and Daniel were located frequently throughout the place, and on the coffee table beside the TV glinted a small object.

Dean bent to pick it up, "A ring. Huh, you read stories but wow. He really was leading the double life."

"Daniel Clearwater proposed to Melissa Green," Castiel's eyes flitted from the ring to Dean's face, "She didn't know about Kim Clearwater until a week before Daniel's death."

His voice was solemn, but his eyes narrowed a little in disgust.

"And the other vic. Katie. What about her?"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, "Melissa found Katie Wilson engaging in sexual intercourse with Daniel," he paused, "In the-"

"-bathroom," a female room interrupted and cut through the room. Both sets of eyes turned to look at the blonde, dressed in a very revealing, tight dress, eyes gleaming with rage.

"Get out of my house and go home, Dean Winchester," she appeared to growl, "Don't make ruin that handsome face of yours. Or maybe your little friend could lose those pretty eyes of his."

Castiel frowned and looked at the floor.

"That a threat? 'cause I don't take too kindly to them," Dean narrowed his eyes, carefully reaching his hand towards his belt.

"I think it was a threat, Dean," Castiel looked at him.

"Thanks, Cas."

"You're welcome."

"Everything was perfect," hot, angry tears flowed from Melissa's eyes, "Until I found him out for who he is. A cheat."

"Must have been heartbreaking," Dean deadpanned, "But killing isn't the answer."

Raising an eyebrow, eyes sharp as they latched onto Dean's. "And what exactly is your profession? You certainly aren't FBI."

Dean's green eyes tightened defensively, but he didn't respond.

"Leave Kim Clearwater out of this," he said firmly, "She has nothing to do with this."

"She has everything to do with this!" Melissa's eyes flashed dangerously, "I could have had him for myself, what he'd wanted. Without her."

"Planning to resurrect him after killing him?" Dean smirked.

Melissa glared, lost for an answer, "He had what was coming to him."

"Nice. Real nice," Dean rolled his eyes, "But Kim did nothing to you. Done nothing wrong. Leave her alone."

"Too late," Melissa sprawled herself on the couch seductively, "Oops. Looks like you boys are in the wrong place! She'll be long gone when you get to her."

Dean grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him outside, but Cas transported them to their desired destination first. Except, they were outside the hotel.

After pestering the receptionist to give over Kim's room number, Dean pelted up the five flights of stairs and down the never ending corridor. Cas had been waiting outside the hotel room door for a while, and allowed Dean to kick it down to gain entry.

But there was no one there.

A large suitcase was open in the corner of the room, with unfolded clothes scattered around it. The TV was on, but barely any sound was coming out. Without hesitation, Dean began rummaging through drawers and clothes.

"Cas," Dean hissed, "Start looking. It'll be here somewhere."

Castiel obeyed instantly, but his search technique was tidier and less effective than Dean's. The hunter didn't have time to notice.

The angel and the hunter stopped in their tracks at the sound of a scream. A woman, late thirties and wearing nothing but a towel, stood frozen in the bathroom doorway.

"Get out," she said in a hushed tone, "Or I'll call security."

"Ma'am," Dean held his hands forward, "There's no time to explain."

"Who are you, some kinky creeps who like looking through women's underwear for kicks?"

She looked straight at Castiel, caught with a bra and panties in his hands. He looked a little bewildered.

"I don't understand what "kinky" is," Cas spoke in clear confusion and Dean just rolled his eyes. The angel seemed to catch on, and slowly allowed the underwear to drop to the floor.

"Just go or I'll-" Kim dropped to her knees, gasping for breath and wheezing horrifically. She began to cough and choke, and blood spattered the carpet.

"Cas! Keep looking," Dean yelled, looking anywhere he could think of in desperation. He finally found the damn thing, but the coughing had silenced.

"She's alive," Castiel murmured, looking up at Dean, "Destroy it."

Dean pulled the lighter from his pocket and lit up the bag, dropping it as the flames burned his fingers.

"Shit," he whispered.

"Dean," Castiel frowned, "You have set the floor on fire."

"Shit," Dean repeated, stamping on the flaming patch of carpet, luckily small, until it went out, "Hope they don't mind the mess."

Castiel placed a hand on Kim's forehead as she began to sit up, completely unharmed. She fell back to the floor, unconscious, "She's just resting now."

Dean lifted the sleeping woman and placed her in the bed, while Castiel disposed of the remaining blood on the carpet.

"Does your angel magic have a carpet cleaning service?" Dean tucked the bed covers around Kim gently, nodding down at the singed floor.

"Of course not," the confusion and horror on the angel's face was comical. When Dean looked back, the mess was gone, the room having gone back to as it should be.

Looking down at the room, the complete lack of evidence, Dean sighed. "Damn. Coulda used your help a few years ago," Shaking his head, Dean started to move out, "C'mon. My baby's calling."

"Your car can communicate?"

"Yes. Now let's go."

"Wait," Castiel approached the bed, touching her forehead once again.

"What now?" Dean rolled his eyes, "We have to go."

"She won't remember us now," Castiel continued, oblivious to Dean's desire to scram, years of hunting having drilled into him a 'get in, get out' mentality.

The eldest Winchester took a moment to just stare at the angel. These guys were ridiculous, eventually sighing, he walked out the room, not checking to see if the angel had followed.

Rose had been crying non-stop for what felt like hours, it was all becoming too much for Sam. The only thing that seemed to have soothed her was when the baby was clinging to her father's finger. Sam had too much to do to sit and hold her hand, and nothing else seemed to be successful in calming her down.

He rushed around, sorting paperwork, putting clothes in the washer, taking out the garbage and cleaning the house, all the while Rose screamed from her bed. Sam hoped that his daughter would calm down of her own accord and get to sleep, but this appeared to be an unreachable fantasy.

It wasn't as if Sam didn't care. He hated having to hear his little girl cry helplessly and wanted nothing more than to soothe her. All she wanted was some contact, it wasn't too much to ask, but there were things that had to be done. Little Rose had gone through clothes in record time and was running out of clean ones, as Sam had forgotten to wash them. They'd let the house get run down, Dean not pulling his weight, Sam not having the motivation and now it had all come back to bite him in the ass.

Once he'd finished, the young father finally made his way upstairs to see to Rose. His daughter gained priority, and he lifted her into his arms. She began to calm down almost immediately, and Sam gently rocked her.

"It's alright. I'm here," Sam whispered in her ear, kissing her forehead, "Sorry I took so long."

He placed Rose in the crib and sat beside it once she was quiet, but she started all over again. He reached and took her tiny hand, stroking her fingers soothingly. In a way, Sam liked that Rosie was showing that she wanted him, but the cries were harder to deal with than Dean when he was set on an idea.

"Thought you two would be back for the rust-mobile," Melissa grinned, stroking the Impala's paintwork.

"Hey, my baby does not-"

"Shut it, pretty boy," she scowled. Lifting her hands, she rolled her eyes, still glaring at Dean.

Dean stood his ground, "We destroyed your stupid hex bag and all your other books. Now cut the crap and sort out your issues like a human. Or I'll be right back to stop you."

"Whatever, sweets," she shrugged, "See ya."  
Melissa turned away and walked towards her house. Dean shrugged and went to get into his car. He stopped at the sound of a gasp and a cry, and turned to find Melissa, eyes wide as she began to choke. Her arm was outstretched, knife inches away from Dean's body. Castiel was behind her, his expression seemingly unconcerned as she collapsed to the floor with the knife in her back. Dean stared a while, unsure whether to thank Cas or yell at him.

"She was going to kill you," Castiel stated.

"Really? No shit, Sherlock," Dean snapped. "Never noticed the huge ass knife in her hand."

"I don't understand-"

"I'm going back. Could you-?" he waved his hands not knowing how to describe angel magic. The look Cas gave him made him think he was going to say know, it was quite a withering look. Dean was impressed.

Dean got in the car and drove back towards the motel, and Castiel watched him go before following orders. The hunter silently attempted to figure out a cover story for Bobby, but was distracted as Castiel turned up in the car again.

"Is it done?" Dean kept his eyes on the road.

"Is what done?" Castiel asked.

"Did you get rid of the body, genius?" Dean looked at Castiel impatiently.

"Yes," Castiel nodded once, "It is done."

Dean pulled up at the motel and got the bag of food from the trunk.

"Cas," Dean grabbed the dirty trench coat before the angel could leave, "Check on my brother. And Rosie. Please."

Castiel disappeared without so much of a word, leaving Dean standing alone, hand outstretched to nothingness. Moving his useless hand up into the air and then through his hair, he wondered how the hell the guy even managed to pass as human to most people. To Dean it was clear as day there was something peculiar about him.

The angel appeared, as requested, in the Winchester's house. Rose was fast asleep in her crib, arm reaching towards her father's hand, hanging down into the crib. The younger Winchester brother had fallen asleep, his head rested on his arm on the crib. The angel stared for a few seconds before returning to Dean,

Only just opening the car door, Dean started when the gravelly voice appeared behind him again. "They are both sleeping."

Dean nodded, a smile of relief growing on his lips, "Thanks, Cas."

Castiel didn't respond, disappearing into thin air at the now familiar sound of his wings.

"Where the hell were you?" Bobby snapped as he opened the door to Dean. In all fairness, Dean had completely forgotten about him. "Only wanted beers and crap. Was it that hard?"

"I found the witch," Dean shoved the bag of food in Bobby's hand, "Had to act fast, Bobby. Coming to get you could have wasted too much time."

"Yeah? Who was it then?"

"Receptionist I spoke to. Found where she lived, decided to ask if she knew anyone who could be behind her. Found her doing creepy witch crap."

"You stop her?" Bobby narrowed his eyes.

"Yup. Was about to ice someone else. Burned the hex bags. Think I persuaded her to avoid the witchy bullshit in future."

Bobby stared at Dean in disbelief before giving in and shrugging, taking a few gulps of beer and slumping on his bed.

A strange dream jolted Dean awake, and he was sure he was still dreaming, or hallucinating, upon seeing the familiar trench coat, tie and scruffy hair just a few metres away.

"What the hell, Cas?" he hissed, "Dude! That's creepy just sitting there… watching. I feel violated."

Castiel frowned, "I was watching over you. Did I wake you?"

His voice wasn't exactly quiet, but Bobby never stirred. Dean stood up and walked to the slightly confused angel, "Look, Cas. I don't need 24 hour observation. I've slept since I was born. I'd say I'm a pro at it. If you want someone to watch over, trying someone like Sam, or Rose. They're the ones who need protecting. Not me."

"The child needs protection. But you're the protection."

"Sam can protect his daughter better than I can," Dean paused, "That's what Dads are for."

"You don't know that," Castiel said, his voice low and close to silence. He left Dean staring at the wall, and Bobby sat up.

"Who the hell yer talkin' to, idjit?" he grunted, rolling over and going back to sleep.

Sam woke with a start in the early hours of a morning. It was too much to ask for a dreamless night these days. He found himself fully clothed with his head rested on the wood of the crib, and took the sleeping baby into his arms the moment he looked at her. His nightmares always involved her in some form, sometimes accompanied by Jess, and Dean was becoming more regular too. They were never a pleasant experience. Closing his eyes tight in an attempt to eliminate the memories of the dream, the young father cupped his daughter's head in his hand and held her close. She didn't wake, just shifted position slightly, and nestled closer to the warmth of her father's body.

He stayed there longer than he realised, and went to bed nearing 4am. After just a few disturbances from Rose, Sam slept in until a knock at the door around 1pm.

"Jus' me, Sammy," Dean called, and the younger Winchester dragged himself out of bed and made his way downstairs.

"Wow," Dean looked his brother up and down. "You look crap."

"You wanna come in or not?" Sam mumbled.

"I gotta get goin'," Bobby called from his car, "Ya comin', Dean?"

"Nah," Dean looked back at him, "Think I'll stay here a while. Someone's got to take care of that."

He tipped his head in Sam's direction, who nodded to Bobby politely before yawning and leaning heavily on the door frame.

"See ya 'round then," Bobby nodded, "Take care of yerselfs."

Both brothers nodded, watching their fatherly figure drive away before going inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to know what you think, so please review 3 Thanks swoopswoop for her beta magic!


	10. Chapter 10

“Sam! I want breakfast!” Dean yelled from the living room.  
“Then get off your ass and make some. I have to change Rose,” the young father grumbled as he grabbed a diaper from the drawer and rushed to the bathroom.  
“You had breakfast without me,” Dean said accusingly, making his way to inspect the fridge. “There’s no pie!”  
“If you want pie buy your own!,” Sam muttered, placing Rose down and wincing at the smell emanating from his daughter.  
“You buy some! Your house, your cash.”  
“Please,” Sam rolled his eyes, changing Rose as fast as he could manage.  
“Sam!” Dean met his brother outside the bathroom door.  
“Shut up, Dean!” Sam snapped, “Get your stupid pie yourself. I’m not some kind of slave. I have to get to work!”  
The commotion startled Rose, and it only fuelled Sam’s frustration as the cries began, the sound piercing straight through him.  
“Now look what you did, genius,” Dean glared. Sam resisted the urge to yell back, leaving Rose for Dean to deal with and taking his bags. He shoved several dollar bills in his brother’s hand.  
“Go to the store and get more diapers and milk. Don’t spend it on crap for you instead. Clean up after yourself, put her diapers in the trash, and please. Please put your clothes in the washer,” Sam wrinkled his nose. “They stink.”  
“You stink more,” Dean muttered.  
“Funny,” Sam sighed in exasperation. “I’m serious, Dean.”  
“Sure. Clean up, buy stuff, wash clothes. Got it,” Dean nodded. “Relax, Sammy. You can trust me. Done it before. I’m the best babysitter in the world.”  
“Yeah,” Sam deadpanned. “Of course, because babies totally need beers and pie instead of diapers. I’m not kidding, Dean, I don’t want a repeat of last time.”   
“It’s not-” Dean began, but decided against pissing off his little brother more. “I’m sorry, okay? Won’t happen again.”  
“Whatever,” Sam shrugged and turned to leave after briefly stroking Rose’s hand. The older Winchester couldn’t help beginning to regret taking his brother’s home for granted. He and Jess had worked hard to get the house by themselves, and it was understandable for Sam to want nothing less than tidiness. Still, he was a hunter. Never in his life had he imagined his downtime between cases being spent like this playing house.  
“Just a rough patch, Rosie. He’ll be alright,” Dean whispered, kissing his niece’s forehead as she quietened down and curled up in his arms. “Y’know, we should clean up this place. Let ya Dad relax for once. All I see in ‘im is stress.”  
Rose stared up at her uncle, blue eyes wide, and he took it as a “yes”. He rummaged through cupboard and found a duster, then placed Rose in travel carrier while he got to work. Dean took pride in the neatly dusted surfaces, stopping every few minutes to look at his niece, blowing a raspberry on her belly or just taking the time to look at her. She was beautiful. It wasn’t too long before he was rewarding his efforts with the last remaining beer. Picking her up and carrying her over to the couch.  
“We make a good team, Rosie,” Dean lounged on the couch with her on his chest. “Good work.”  
The baby was sleeping, but the proud uncle ignored this as he gently high fived her open hand with his finger.  
Rose’s wails caused Dean to wake and realised he’d allowed himself to relax too much. His stomach, along with the wall clock, alerted him that he should probably get breakfast.  
“Hey,” he pouted at his niece. “What’s up with you?”  
He stood up and held her clothes, softly rubbing her back as he went to make her milk. It was odd for Dean, looking after a small kid. Heck, he’d never expected to have kids of his own and Sam had long since grown past needing Dean like this. He almost missed it, being the point of comfort to something so small, so delicate. It was the opposite of his day job and no small relief.   
“Milk for Rosie. A trip to the store for Uncle Dean,” he muttered, watching the baby feed from her bottle. Her tiny hand was trying to hold onto the bottle too, he felt a small smile tugging over his lips.   
“Tryin’ to hold it yourself there?” Dean smiled. “Probably best if I help you for now. You’ll get the hang of it one day.”  
The pram was unfolded and assembled successfully on the first attempt, and the shopping trip commenced. Dean fought temptation and went straight into finding the things that were needed first. Sammy was struggling, it was part of the reason Dean was so available. That and what Cas said, but he chose not to think about that too much. He found himself happy to help in these little ways. Three packs of diapers and a pack of baby formula later, Dean found he had some money spare.  
“Looks like we get some treats, Rosie,” he grinned at the wide-eyed baby staring at him intently. “Well, I do. Too bad you’re too little to eat.”  
Rose began to smile.  
“You excited for the good stuff? You should be, it’s great. You’re gonna love pie, I can tell. You have to take after Uncle Dean in some way,” Dean placed a couple pies and a crate of beer in the cart. “No beers until you’re 21, though.” He looked down at her tiny grin and ruffled her hair, “Okay, maybe when your 18. We just won’t tell Dad, okay?”  
When they returned home Dean finally got round to getting some good food. He laid Rose on her back beside him as he tucked into his lunch, laughing to himself as tiny feet kicked him several times.  
“Hey,” Dean said with his mouth full, trying for stern but failing completely. “What did I do to deserve those kicks?”  
He gently grabbed a little foot, “I remember when your Dad was that small,” he whispered, softly stroking her toes with his thumb. “I was only a kid myself then.”  
Rose stared at him, as if listening, “A little brother was all I wanted. Guess I wouldn’t have minded a sister. But Sammy was the best thing that happened to me. But then…” Dean’s voice cracked for a second. “I can’t lose him. Or you.”  
Rose smiled again, and Dean found himself smiling, leaning forward to kiss her hand. The moment he lifted her back into his arms, Rose spit up.  
“Nice,” Dean grimaced. “You really love messing up your clothes, right? And mine, I guess.” Dean sighed, “I liked this one.”  
Dean got himself and Rose changed into clean clothes, throwing the dirty ones into the laundry. Looking at the sheer amount of plaid there he figured Sam hadn’t had time to do that either, sighing he ran a load of washing, carefully balancing the baby in his arms too.   
Rose kicked her legs in rebellion as she laid in her clean, white dress. Dean plucked her up, gently stroking her soft hair. Rose’s hair had begun to thicken out, and had kept its blonde hue. Curls had started to develop, and Dean only saw one person. While Sam, Sue and Peter saw Jessica, Dean saw Mary. He pressed his lips to his niece’s forehead in a doting kiss, stroking her wispy curls softly.  
“Dean.”  
Dean leapt up upon hearing the voice in his ear, startling Rose once more and causing the whimpers to begin as he clutched her tightly to his chest, defensively.  
“Cas,” Dean rolled his eyes and stood up, gently bouncing the baby in an attempt to calm her. “Can’t you turn up outside and knock? I’m probably going to die of a heart attack anyway, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give it a kick start.”   
Castiel paused, looked over Dean shrewdly, eyes narrowing before relaxing a touch. “Your heart is perfectly fine.”   
“Sarcasm, dumbass.”  
Castiel chose to ignore him, reaching and placing her hand on Rose’s forehead. She instantly went silent.  
“Woah,” Dean backed away and held Rose protectively. “Zap wherever you like. Do what you like to me, but no touching the baby.”  
“The child was crying and disturbing you,” Castiel moved uncomfortably close to Dean. “She is merely sleeping. Would you like me to take her out of unconsciousness and allow her to cry again?”  
Dean glared at him and automatically stroked Rose’s back, “Are you on baby watch or is this a social visit? Fancy catching up on daytime TV?”   
“I do not watch TV,” Castiel stared ahead, but appeared intrigued by Rose. “Why have you changed her clothing again?”  
“She threw up on them, couldn’t exactly leave her in the dirty clothes,” Dean shrugged. “Y’know, humans have hygiene standards.”  
“If she dirties her clothing so often, maybe she should stay in the same clothes,” Castiel leaned closer.  
“Yeah. Then she’ll stink and could get sick,” Dean frowned, leaning away slightly, turning his body so Rose was almost out of his vision.  
“I would be able to heal her,” Castiel looked from Rose to Dean, his expression somewhat bored.  
“Yeah. Thanks, but maybe it’s more logical to avoid getting sick at all,” Dean made small “hush” sounds as Rose began to shift restlessly. Castiel frowned and leaned further towards the baby’s face.  
“Jeez, don’t give the poor kid nightmares,” Dean shoved Castiel away, but he got the feeling the only reason the other moved was because he wanted to. Castiel looked skinny as hell but there was muscle or something underneath his chest. There was no give at all. “Never seen a baby before?”  
“Of course I have,” Castiel recovered and looked at Dean. “I have witnessed births before. Mary had a long and loud labour.”  
“Awesome,” Dean grimaced, bouncing the baby gently as she stirred properly. “Looks like your magic sleep didn’t last.”  
The protective uncle batted Castiel’s hand away as he reached to send the baby back to sleep, and instead placed her in his arms.  
“I’ll make her milk.”  
“She doesn’t need feeding, Dean. You fed her recently,” Castiel murmured, holding the infant at arm’s length and staring at her. “She has soiled her diaper.”  
“Then watch her while I get a new one,” Dean rolled his eyes, running upstairs.  
Rose opened her eyes, and she instantly focused on the angel staring back at her.  
“Hello,” Castiel said awkwardly, but then adjusted his hold on her so he could support her head properly. “You are an interesting human to watch. I have never watched a human develop from their birth. Never this closely, anyway.”  
“Well, isn’t that adorable,” Dean smirked. “Don’t tell me, you witnessed her birth too.”  
Rose was transferred back to her uncle, who proceeded to change her diaper in the bathroom. Cas watched from the doorway.  
“Dude, give the kid some privacy.”  
“I was sent to watch over the child from the moment of her birth,” Castiel carried on regardless.  
“Huh,” Dean placed the new, fresh diaper of Rose’s body. “Did you…did you see Jess?”  
He looked at Castiel, “Sam really loved her.”  
“Jessica Moore was a good person,” was all Castiel said.  
Dean sighed quietly, “Couldn’t you have stopped it?”  
“What could I have stopped?”  
“Healed her, I dunno,” the hunter shrugged, “Why did you let Sam’s life fuck up like that? He’s not right, Cas.”  
“I don’t control everything, Dean,” Castiel said remorsefully. “Not everyone can be saved.”  
“Screw that destiny shit!” Dean slammed his hand on the table. He looked down to find Rose un-phased, but looked up again to see Cas gone. “Son of a bitch.”  
He paused and looked down at Rose, “Don’t tell Daddy I said that.”  
The baby simply closed her eyes and fell asleep of her own accord, and the hunter shrugged and disposed of the dirty diaper.  
After a quick nap on the couch in front of the TV and an empty beer can, Dean sat up slowly with Rose nestled on his chest.  
“Had a good day, Rosie?” he asked, holding one of her hands, “Your Dad will be home before you know it. Let’s hope he has a good day for once.”  
At that moment, something caught the oldest Winchester’s eye. One of his socks on the floor. He then looked at the clock. Half an hour.  
“Shit,” Dean leapt up, placing Rose in her travel carrier and grabbing up as much as he could.  
\--  
Sam, unusually, had had a good day at work. Of the three days he worked every week, he generally came home in a terrible mood. His mood deteriorated further if he got home to a mess. This day was a pleasant exception; his boss had been reasonably encouraging and positive about Sam’s work, as opposed to the harsh criticisms that constantly knocked at his confidence.  
The young lawyer bought himself a coffee on the way back to his car, even going as far to buy beers for Dean. He almost spilled the contents of the paper cup all over himself upon seeing a familiar face unlocking the car beside his.  
“Are you following me or something?” Ruby’s tone was lined with mockery. Sam composed himself and smiled back at her.  
“Just coincidence, I guess,” he shrugged.  
“Y’know, I believe in destiny,” she edged a little closer to him. “Maybe we’re meant to keep meeting.”  
The eager eyes and seductive tone caught Sam off guard. His thoughts turned to Jessica in an instant.  
“Look, Sam, are ya gonna ask me out or not?” Ruby raised an eyebrow. “A girl could die waiting.”  
Sam blanched, forced to blink caught completely off guard. He stumbled back and blushed, quickly looking down at the ground. Had he been leading her on?   
“Hey,” Ruby looked up at Sam, slightly worried by his response. “Was it something I said?”  
Without thinking, the youngest Winchester looked down at his ring and clenched his fist.  
“Oh my…” Ruby’s brown eyes widened. “I didn’t realise. I’m so sorry. God, do I feel stupid.”  
“It’s fine,” Sam muttered. “She died.”   
Ruby choked out a little gasp. “I am so so sorry, are you okay?”  
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”  
Ruby studied his face for a while, “It was recent then?.”  
“I – yes, a few months ago,” Sam didn’t have anything else to say and from the silence that settled over them, neither did she. He cast her a small little sad smile before he slid into his car, getting away as soon as possible. The reminders were the worst. In some ways he could pretend she was just away, travelling, that she’d eventually be back. Whenever he was confronted about it he winced, tried to shy away. It might be the same reason he was reluctant to see the Moore’s so often.   
He had been looking forward to getting home, seeing his brother and daughter, but now he was in no mood to see anyone. The mere thought of flirtation and replacing Jess so soon had slaughtered his mood, more importantly, it scared him.  
\--  
Dean had got his butt in gear and had transformed the living room into how Sam liked it. Pillows in place, no clothes left lying around, food leftovers and wrappings disposed of and baby equipment put away. He’d tackled the washer for the first time, and had put in the first load of his clothes. His and the majority of Rose’s closest were ready for washing.  
“All ready for Daddy now, huh Rose?” the oldest Winchester grinned, lifting the infant from the travel carrier. A smile grew on her lips, and Dean held her hand. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”  
The pair watched as the black car pulled into the drive, and Dean gently waved Rose’s hand as Sam got out the car. He winced slightly as his brother made no response.  
“Hey,” Dean said carefully. “How was it today?”  
“Don’t talk to me, Dean,” Sam muttered coldly.  
“That bad, huh?” Dean sighed. “What did he do this time?”  
“Nothing. I had a good day,” Sam shrugged off his jacket and removed his tie.  
“Doesn’t look like it,” Dean followed him upstairs. “You look like someone died.”  
“Don’t remind me,” Sam snapped then sighed when he saw the shocked picture on his brother’s face. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Look, I just want to be alone.”  
“Just come and sit down. Watch TV. Spend time with Rosie,” Dean held out his niece to Sam. “Sitting alone ain’t helping nothing.”  
Sam opened his mouth to protest, but found Rose in his arms before he could try. Her warmth and bright blue eyes softened Sam’s mood almost instantly, and Dean began to smile as his little brother kissed his daughter’s hand softly.  
“See? Babies. Nature’s happy pill.”  
“Shut up,” Sam laughed quietly, and Rose began to smile at him. “Got you a present in my car, Dean.”  
The younger Winchester sat on the couch while Dean ran out and opened up the car.  
“Y’know, you probably shouldn’t feed my habit, Sammy,” he called, and Sam shook his head at the sound of a fresh can opening. “Pft. Who am I kidding.”  
“You earned it,” Sam nodded in approval. “You did the chores. For once.”  
“’course I did, Sammy. It was getting boring seeing you grumpy every day after work.”  
Sam smiled, “Thanks, Dean. I was bored of being grumpy.”  
“At least you got two days to spend time with your favourite people,” Dean winked. “Get a break from Mr Bitchface.”  
Sam couldn’t help grinning, “Hey, he’s really not that bad, Dean. He actually complimented me today.”  
“Wow. Mr Not-So-Bitchface.”  
“How was she today?” Sam looked down at Rose, who seemed perfectly content studying her father’s neck.  
“Hungry. She spit up a couple times.”  
Sam nodded, “Did you bathe her?”  
“Not yet,” Dean took Rose back. “I’ll do it now. Let you settle after work.”  
“Thanks,” Sam raised both eyebrows. “I think.”  
“So I can’t help you now? I’m tryin’, Sammy.”  
\--  
Sam placed the two plates of pizza down on the table, but Dean was distracted. His eyes had caught sight of his brother’s hand.  
“What?” Sam frowned, “Got another complaint about my culinary skills?”  
“What skills?” Dean snorted. “All you did was put that pizza in the oven.”  
“Then what’s the problem?”  
“That,” Dean nodded at the ring. “Don’t you think it’s been long enough?”   
Sam looked at his hand, “Dean…”  
“Take it off, Sam,” Dean encouraged. “I’m serious. It’s not helping you.”  
Sam glared and turned away, “I’m not taking it off.”  
“Fine, whatever,” Dean shrugged, “Just don’t come crying to me like a little kid when that thing is bugging you non-stop. It’ll drag you down.”  
“You don’t know that,” Sam lowered his voice.  
“Hell I do!” Dean clenched his fists in frustration, “He was the same. Kept the damn ring on and wondered why his mood turned to shit at the sight of the thing. It’s a reminder. A constant reminder of what you lost.”  
“I’m not like Dad!” Sam’s insistence was half hearted. Even he wasn’t certain anymore. “I’m keeping it on.”  
Dean sighed, “Look, man. I understand.”  
“Do you?!” Sam shot a glare in Dean’s direction.  
“I do. You just lost your wife. It’s hard. Harder than I can imagine, to let go. I know. I had to watch Dad do it.”  
“Dad never let go of Mom,” Sam raised an eyebrow.  
Dean chose to ignore him, “Seeing you all depressed. I don’t like it, Sammy. I know how much she meant to you.”  
“I can’t take it off,” Sam clenched his jaw as he tried to hold himself together. “I just can’t leave her behind.”  
His voice caught in his throat, and he let out a shaky breath, “Sometimes I wonder how I got this far without her.”  
Dean watched his brother a while, unsure whether to try and console him or take his distress as more reason to take off that ring. “You aren’t leaving her behind. You’re moving forward. Look, you’re never gonna forget Jess, not while you have a beautiful daughter. You got a piece of her to hold onto. Don’t let what’s already happened plague you.”  
“Just,” Sam couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes. Or his daughter’s, “Not yet.”  
“Hey,” Dean put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “You’re alright. I got your back, bro.”  
Without another word, Sam pulled Dean into a hug. The older Winchester was seconds from pushing him away, playfully teasing about no chick flick moments, but was stopped when his little brother let out an involuntary sob. Remembering Sammy’s tears from their childhood, Dean stayed silent, holding him close as he let out the bottled emotion.  
“Sorry,” Sam mumbled eventually. His voice was still shaking, and he wiped his eyes.  
“Hey, dude, it’s alright,” Dean patted his shoulder gently. “Aw, crap. Pizza’s cold.”  
Sam sighed, more distressed about it than necessary, “I’ll order some in.”  
“Nah. S’fine, don’t worry about it,” Dean sat down and started eating. Sam sat to do the same. Once they were done, Dean took his empty plate and Sam’s plate containing at least half the remaining pizza, and went to wash up. After he’d polished off his brother’s leftovers.  
Sam left Dean to it and went into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face to calm the heat. He stared at himself in the mirror, at the dark circles beneath his eyes, his gaunt face. Unable to take it, Sam looked away, down at his ring. Would Jess really want to see him this way? See how badly he was taking her death? He shook his head, his fingers closing around the ring and beginning to pull it from his finger. He stopped, rethinking. However badly he was treating himself without Jess with him, he couldn’t do it. Letting out a sigh of defeat, he allowed the ring to stay.  
“I need her,” he muttered, closing his eyes tight and leaving the room.   
Maybe in the future, in a year or so, maybe then but for now he needed to feel that she was there. Feel she was with him as he raised their daughter. He felt the metal warm under his touch before he moved his hand away entirely, leaving it in its place before returning to his brother, taking Rose into his arms and hugging her close.


	11. 11

The wedding photo had been covered up by tinsel, and Sam brushed it away gently, staring at the photo with a small sigh. Four months now.   
He was determined not to let his emotions take over the day. He couldn’t drag Dean down with him. Trying or not, he couldn’t quite pull himself away, gentle finger running down the wooden frame, tracing the outline.   
“Whaddya think?” Dean called through, joining him in the room, grinning Rose wrapped in his arms. She was dressed, head to toe, in a cheap red and green elf costume. Sam did a double take, but didn’t laugh. He managed to refrain from an eye roll.   
Dean knew exactly what was going on, Sam should have known better than to try and hide it, placing Rose in her chair and going to the kitchen. His little brother flinched as the cold beer can came in contact with his skin, and he stared at it for a while before finally taking it. With one last glance at the photo, Sam’s heart clenched, and he turned away to sit down. After finishing his beer, he lifted Rose and let a small smile take over his lips.   
“What has he done to you?”   
“Hey! She looks cute!” Dean frowned. “C’mon, it’s present time.”  
“Not until she looks normal,” Sam raised an eyebrow, taking his daughter upstairs to change her into something different. He found a red dress, never worn before, in the drawer, and a flower headband that he recalled Jess had bought on her last shopping trip. How far his wife had managed to plan ahead never ceased to amaze, he wouldn’t be surprised if he found clothes to fit their daughter in her teenage years. He smiled at the image before grief flooded him that Jess would never get to see any of it. He clenched his jaw and returned, a little less enthused. Dean either didn’t notice or chose not to care.  
“N’aw, you liked being a Christmas elf, didn’t you Rosie?” Dean pouted, while the infant squealed and giggled from Sam’s arms.  
“She probably liked it because she couldn’t see how hideously awful it was. Those colours were blinding.” Sam muttered, sitting and holding Rose on his knee. She leaned on him for support.  
“She can. The baby book said so,” Dean said proudly. “Babies aren’t colour blind, dumbass.”  
The oldest Winchester had been snooping around and had come across the small collection of pregnancy and baby books, and had taken it upon himself to read them and know more about his niece’s development. Sam had never even looked at them once, but Jess had read them all several times. It wasn’t that Sam hadn’t cared just he had bigger concerns with his wife at the time.   
Rose looked around her, and Dean waved to catch her attention. She focused on him and began to smile.  
“Want presents, Rosie?” he grinned. “Well, you’ll have to go to Uncle Dean for that.”  
Rose squealed as Dean scooped her up into his arms.  
“I think you’ve been a good girl this year,” Dean kissed her head. “Because Santa brought you a ton of cool stuff.”  
Sam rolled his eyes, “Please-“  
“Hey, killjoy. Pipe down,” Dean didn’t look at his brother. “You’re meant to do this with kids. It’s like the law or some shit.”  
“Yeah, can you stop cussing in front of her?” Sam frowned. “And second, she’s not even six months old yet. She doesn’t know what Christmas is.”  
Dean raised an eyebrow, “Sam, she’s not even six months old. She doesn’t know what shit is. Well,” he quit while he was ahead, “Let’s go look at those presents of yours.”  
Sam watched in silence as Dean sat on the floor, opening present after present with Rose. He had no idea when Dean had got most of that stuff, but he was glad that someone had spoiled her, as he certainly hadn’t. Sam had settled on a small, soft, stuffed rabbit toy, reasonably similar to the one Jess had bought, and nothing else. He’d wanted to get more, but whenever he went into those shops, the same ones he’d gone in with Jess, who was always so excited – he couldn’t motivate himself. Every second was a painful reminder of how alone he was, particularly when surrounded with so many other perfectly happy families.   
What else could you get for a baby anyway? He’d had to go out and buy new clothes so often that buying them were a necessity and a norm to him, not a gift. Rose had attached herself to the toy Jess had bought, and so he felt other toys didn’t really compete. The one thing Sam wanted to give her was Jessica’s favourite necklace, a simple chain with a heart necklace that had lain sprawled on the dresser for months. Sam couldn’t bring himself to move it. Its position made it seem like Jess had left it there and would be back to pick it up at any minute. Tiny things like that kept Sam going. He’d decided to leave that gift for a later birthday or Christmas, when Rose could understand and appreciate its significance. A baby couldn’t do that.  
As Dean whispered to Rose, who was staring at everything with eyes wide, smiles appearing and disappearing, Sam couldn’t help glancing to the wedding photo again.  
Jess should be doing that, he thought to himself, unable to shake it out of his thoughts. He unwillingly imagined his wife dressing their daughter in a sweet Christmas outfit, singing her Christmas songs and sitting together with Sam and opening their presents. They’d make the Christmas dinner together, like they had done every year of their relationship, although the end result wasn’t always successful. They could have sat together on the couch, just the three of them, watching crap on TV until late.  
Dean was bouncing Rose on his knees gently as she began to get restless.  
“You must be the only kid in the world who gets tired for presents, Rosie,” he said softly, gently ruffling her hair. “You still have loads to go.”  
Rose wasn’t impressed. She began to whimper, her tiny hands reaching towards Sam.  
“Uncle Dean just can’t compete with Daddy, right?” Dean nodded. “Fair enough.”  
Sam accepted his daughter into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. She calmed down almost instantly, and Dean tried to look put upon but he wouldn’t have it any other way. If Rosie was helping Sam heal, then he needed her by his side.   
“Did the in-laws bring presents?”  
“Yeah,” Sam said quietly. “They dropped a bag here for us yesterday. We’re going to dinner tomorrow, and you’re invited, as always.”  
“Well, guess if I got nothing else to do,” Dean shrugged.  
“They’re nice people, y’know, Dean,” Sam ran his fingers through Rose’s curls. “They’re not going to hurt you.”  
“Two presents for you, a ton for Rosie. Wait. Is that for me?” Dean dug into the festive present bag and took out the square shaped present. The tag clearly said Dean. “We should open Rosie’s first. Do you wanna do it?”  
“Nah,” Sam shook his head. “You’re better at it than me.”  
“Pff, you can open a present, Sammy. Really not that hard,” Dean smirked.  
“You know what I mean,” Sam sat on the floor beside Dean, holding Rose close as she stared at the presents remaining.  
“Rosie,” Dean whispered, but she didn’t look at him. He then shook the present and instantly the infant looked in his direction. “What’s that, huh Rosie?”  
He unwrapped a brightly coloured rattle, and she began reaching for it.  
“Knock yourself out,” Dean smiled at her, letting her grab it. A smile appeared on Sam’s face as his baby daughter took the rattle and widened her eyes at the noise it made. Both brothers watched her for a while as she shook her new toy excitedly, but she lost interest at the sight of her favourite toy lying abandoned by the used wrapping paper. The rattle fell to the floor as both hands tried to grab the toy.  
“If we lose this, we’re in the shit, Sammy,” Dean gently gave Rose her soft toy and chuckled as she clung to it. “Read about it. Babies get attached to a toy, called a security object or something. Say you should have two of ‘em, in case one gets lost. ‘cause if you have another one you’re not so screwed.”  
Holding Rose with one arm, Sam reached and took the small, wrapped present from right under the Christmas tree, which wouldn’t even be up and decorated if it wasn’t for Dean.  
“You want to open it, Dean?” Sam threw it to him. Dean nodded, attempting to get Rose’s attention, but she was too interested in her own toy. Dean shrugged and tore the paper. Rose instantly looked up at the sound, and she watched intently as Dean unwrapped the small, soft toy bunny.  
“N’aaw,” Dean grinned at Sam. “S’cute. Right, Rosie? Maybe someday Daddy will get you a pet rabbit.”  
“Yeah,” Sam snorted. “No thanks.”  
One too many witch cases. It was always the bunny that got it. Sam’s phone rang, and he groaned quietly to find his mother-in-law calling.   
“I’ll be back,” Sam muttered, placing Rose on Dean’s knee as she clutched at her two soft toys. “In about an hour, most likely.”  
He went to his study, and Dean gently bounced Rose, kissing her head. The sound of wings made both uncle and niece flinch.”  
“Hello,” Castiel’s ice blue eyes fixated on him instantly.  
“Hey, Cas. Thought you’d be rockin’ up in heaven at the angel Christmas party or something,” Dean smiled teasingly.   
“There is no party in heaven,” Castiel frowned, his eyes darting upwards briefly. “I’m not sure the child needs that large amount of gifts, Dean. She is quite small for her age.”  
“Hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with spoiling my only niece,” Dean said defensively.  
“You have given her clothes that are too large and playthings that are unsuitable for a child of her age,” Castiel’s expression was unreadable as he watched Rose’s face.  
“Well she can use them and wear them when she’s older. Right, Rosie?” Dean gently ruffled her hair, making her squeal.  
“She cannot answer you, Dean,” Castiel said. “She has not developed the correct verbal skills.”  
Dean rolled his eyes, but got distracted as Rose cooed softly and reached toward the angel. Castiel took a step back, and Dean grinned.  
“Want to see Cas, Rosie?” he lifted Rose into his arms.  
“Dean, she cannot answer-” Castiel began.  
“Change the record, Cas,” Dean rolled his eyes, placing Rose into Castiel’s arms. “Or should I say, uncle Cas?”  
“I have no blood relation to the child, Dean,” Castiel frowned, finding himself holding Rose. She gave him a toothless, gummy grin, that even Sam’s heart melted at the sight of, and Cas appeared to relax.  
“See, she’s cute. Not gonna hurt you. Well, she’ll smile you to death,” Dean smiled at Rose, who had begun staring at Cas as she had done so many times before.  
“Smiles aren’t fatal, Dean,” Castiel muttered, beginning to stare back at Rose. Dean rolled his eyes.  
“C’mon. Again?”  
“She required attention and contact,” Castiel looked up at Dean, holding Rose out to him.  
“Well, you try, genius,” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Give her cuddles. She sure likes that.”  
“I don’t know how to ‘cuddles’,” the angel seemed disappointed in the inability to use his damn quote marks.  
“Just…” Dean attempted to demonstrate with a pillow. “Erm…hold her…closer.”  
Castiel slowly held Rose closer, who rested her head on the trench coat and giggled quietly.  
“Yeah, close enough,” Dean muttered and looked away. “As good as we’re gonna get.”’  
“Dean,” Castiel said quietly, and Dean looked back to find Rose clinging onto the angel’s blue tie. Dean smiled at the panicked expression on the angel. For a guardian angel he wasn’t so great with his charge.  
“Adorable,” he raised an eyebrow. “She clearly loves you. Are you really going to break her heart and disappear on her?”  
Castiel frowned, flinching as Rose pulled on the tie hard enough for his neck to jerk downwards. Dean gently prised her fingers off the tie.  
“Hey, I don’t think we should go hurting the angel now, huh?” Dean tickled her chin.  
“She isn’t strong enough to hurt an angel,” Castiel looked at Rose, who reached and grabbed his tie again. Dean was sure a small smile grew on Castiel’s lips.  
“Sure, we’ll be over tomorrow. Dean too. He’s opening Rose’s presents with her now,” Sam’s voice grew louder. “Thanks. You too.”  
Castiel looked towards the voice and back, placing Rose in Dean’s arms.  
“Goodbye, Dean,” he nodded politely, disappearing into thin air. Rose whimpered and reached for a moment, but soon seemed to forget.  
“Dean?” Sam came into the room and put his cell on the table. “What are you doing?”  
“What?” Dean shrugged.  
“Standing there,” Sam raised an eyebrow and gestured. “Like you’re talking to the wall.”  
“Dunno. Forgot,” Dean gently bounced his niece in his arms. “Should leave the rest of the presents for later. Uncle Dean’s gotta start on the Christmas dinner.”  
“Yeah, Christmas dinner. Good luck,” Sam rolled his eyes, accepting his daughter into his arms and taking the few presents labelled for him, two from Dean, one from the Moores, and another from Dean that had been written as if from Rosie. The younger Winchester cringed at the attempt of “baby” spelling.  
Dean’s first gift was some kind of Barbie doll, which Sam rolled his eyes at and threw on the pile of Rosie’s things. Dean’s jokes weren’t funny anymore, he thought even as a corner of his lip perked up.  
The second present confused Sam further. Some book on angels. Was Dean trying to encourage Sam to believe in them or something? Maybe he thought angels could be a comfort to him, something to help him through the grieving process. Either that, or Dean was too lazy to research a case. Sam didn’t know what to think, and so moved on to “Rosie’s” gift. The wrapped present was thin and seemed delicate, and a small, scruffy piece of paper fell out before the real present was revealed.  
Was a sneaky bastard and took this picture. About time you had a pic of you looking happy with Rosie.  
Sam pulled out the photo, figuring out when and how Dean had captured it.  
Just a few days before, Dean and Sam had put on the TV and found themselves watching some crappy kids movie from their childhood, which Dean seemed to have become engrossed in. Not only him, but Rose too. She stared at the bright colours, but often lost interest to play with her hands or look around the room before the film caught her interest again. One time, Rose had turned her interest to her father, smiling at him with a look of happiness on her face as she stared. Her little hands reached to his chin, and he looked down at smiled at her, kissing her forehead. Rose cooed happily and grabbed his finger. Sam had been focusing so much on his daughter, he wouldn’t have noticed if Dean had taken a photo.   
Sam put the picture on the mantelpiece, beside the wedding photo, then moved onto his final present. An envelope was taped to the wrapped item, but its shape suggested there was more than a card or paper inside. Holding his fidgeting daughter with one arm and making soft hushing sounds, Sam opened the envelope. Something fell out onto Rose’s knee, and she let out a tiny gasp before beginning to cry. Sam picked up the object, a small, simple beaded bracelet. The beads were all different colours, and it looked as if it would fit a child around seven years. After calming Rose down, Sam took out the card in the envelope. This card was different to the one he’d already received from the Moores, less decorated and sophisticated looking. He cared more about the message inside.  
Sam,   
We wanted you to have this so you can give it to Rose when she’s older. This bracelet was Jessica’s favourite, and we think she would have wanted to give it to her daughter.  
Keep it safe,  
Sue and Peter.  
Sam put the bracelet back in its envelope and put it on the mantelpiece with the photo. Rose grizzled restlessly, and Sam placed her in her chair and tucked her in blankets so she could have some peace. He tore off the paper from the large, square present to find a black photo album. Sam flicked through the pages, containing photos of Rose, on her own and with Sam, all of which had been taken by Peter. Sam focused on the photos, ignoring the, in his opinion, overdone decorations, most likely by Sue. He put the album on the couch and cleared away the wrapping paper.   
Sam looked over at Rose and found her peacefully clutching at her new toy from him and cuddling up in the blankets. Sam couldn’t help smiling.  
The loud bang on the front door jolted Sam back to reality and he had a brief moment where he whipped his head back to Rose to see if she was awake before relaxing and standing up.   
“Get the door, Sammy. I’m busy,” Dean yelled from the kitchen.  
“Yes, sir,” Sam rolled his eyes, opening the door to find the grizzled older hunter.  
“Hey, Sam,” Bobby nodded. “Happy Christmas.”  
“You too, Bobby,” Sam smiled.  
“Yer brother here?”  
“Yeah, he thinks he’s making Christmas dinner,” Sam smirked.  
Bobby snorted, “Right.”  
The kitchen door opened, “I can hear you.”  
“When have ya ever made anythin’ decent, boy?” Bobby said accusingly. That shut Dean up, and he shut the kitchen door and carried on with his work.  
“He bought the stuff himself,” Sam shrugged. “At least it’s not my money he’s wasting.”  
Dean heard that also and grumbled to himself in response.  
“Did you want anything, Bobby? A beer?” Sam asked as they entered the living room. The old hunter almost tripped over Rose’s chair, with Rose inside, but Sam instinctively swooped and lifted it away to safety.  
“Sorry, didn’t see ‘er there,” Bobby muttered. “She alright?”  
“No harm done,” Sam shrugged, putting the chair down and lifting Rose, who had woken up from the noise.  
“She doin’ okay?”  
“Yeah, she’s good. Doctors at her checkups said she’s okay. She sleeps better now. I get more sleep.”  
“Good,” Bobby nodded. “That’s good.”  
He took some things from an old bag, “Thought I should get ya somethin’,” he pulled out a pack of diapers. “Dunno if they’re the right sort or whatever.”  
“Nah, they’re great, Bobby. Thanks,” Sam smiled. “She goes through a lot of them.”  
Bobby chuckled gruffly, “She looks too small for that.”  
Sam laughed with him, “True. She does though.”  
The older hunter pulled out a thick blanket, “You probably got enough of these, but y’know. Might help.”  
Sam took the blanket and folded it neatly, “With babies, it seems there is never enough,” he shrugged, “Thanks, Bobby, really.”  
“S’no trouble,” Bobby looked at the young father, but Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty. He hadn’t known or expected Bobby to pay a visit, and so he hadn’t gotten around to getting him anything. Bobby seemed to be able to tell, but didn’t comment. He didn’t really care anyway.  
Dean entered the room, Santa hat askew on his head.  
“Hey, Bobby,” he slumped down on the couch beside his brother and threw a beer at the older hunter. “Dinner’s cooking.”  
“Yeah,” Bobby didn’t sound convinced. “Got ya a present too.”  
“Yeah?” Dean’s eyes lit up. “What is it?”  
“A case. Yer getting’ lazy. World needs ya,” Bobby muttered. “No offence, Sam.”  
“None taken.”  
“When do you want me?” Dean leaned back on the couch.  
“Soon as possible. I’m goin’ there via Roadhouse, gonna visit Ellen and Jo tomorrow,” Bobby shrugged. “You comin’ with me or makin’ yer own way? S’in South Dakota, near me. Might be a Wendigo.”  
Dean briefly met his brother’s trademarked puppy eyes. Sam always dreaded visiting the Moores, and Dean had either declined his invitations to join him or had been unavailable. Agreeing to go with Sam on Boxing Day had been the first time ever, and Dean didn’t want to let his little brother down on it.  
“Sorry, me and Sammy gotta take a trip to the in-laws.”  
Bobby’s face displayed clear disapproval, but decided against challenging it. He didn’t know enough about Sam’s situation to judge. Sam looked at Dean gratefully.  
The smoke detector began to beep, the sound causing all three men to wince. Rose’s eyes flew open, and Sam whisked her into his arms as she began to cry. Dean leapt up.  
“Shit!” he disappeared into the kitchen, repeatedly cussing as he deactivated the smoke detector and noisily removed food from the cooker. Sam and Bobby smirked simultaneously. Minutes passed, silent besides Rose’s slowly calming whimpers, and Dean finally returned. In place of the impressive meal he had aimed to have, was almost a whole loaf of bread’s worth of buttered toast. On the side, a couple roasted potatoes that he’d salvaged from the wreckage of the meal. He’d put some potato chips in a bowl for good measure. Dean looked truly heartbroken at his failure.   
Sam burst into laughter, for the first in a very long time. Dean was unsure whether to throw a potato at him or be relieved that his little brother showed signs of getting back to himself. Rose began to giggle with him, enjoying the sound of her father’s laughter. Dean shook his head.  
“I know. You’re right. I suck.”  
“Nah, you tried,” Sam grinned, taking a slice of toast. “Good job on the toast.”  
“Yeah, hilarious,” Dean pouted, and Sam laughed more. “Why didn’t you make Christmas dinner yourself?”  
Sam shrugged, “Reminds me too much.”  
Bobby and Dean thought better than to press Sam on that. Both couldn’t deny their curiosity, but their desires to protect the younger Winchester and ensure he had a pleasant Christmas were stronger.  
Bobby didn’t stay long. He had a long journey ahead of him and he wanted it over with. Sam made him sandwiches and gave him some potato chips for the journey, along with a couple of Dean’s beers and some water. Dean frowned, but said nothing.  
“I’ll see if I can drop by some time, Sam,” Bobby nodded, patting his shoulder. “Or there’s always the phone. Take care of yerself, and the kid.”  
“I will, Bobby,” Sam hugged the older hunter briefly before letting him go.  
“See you soon, Bobby,” Dean nodded. “I’ll call when I’m gonna leave. Say hi to Ellen and Jo.”  
“Will do,” Bobby called, getting into his car and beginning to drive away.  
“Who are Ellen and Jo?” Sam said the moment Dean shut the door. He adjusted his hold on Rose as she wriggled uncomfortably. “And what’s the Roadhouse?”  
“Ellen and Jo Harvelle. Dad worked with Ellen’s husband. Bill’s gone now,” Dean shrugged, “Roadhouse…bar for hunters, you could say.”  
Rose, her head rested on Sam’s shoulder, made an “ooh” sound.  
“I know right?” Dean grinned at Rosie. “It’s pretty awesome. Which reminds me. Who’s this Ruby chick?”  
“What?” Sam frowned a little. “How do you know about her?”  
Dean returned to the living room, picking something up. A Christmas card.  
Dear Sam and Little Rosie,  
Have a great Christmas together. You know where I am if you need me.  
Ruby,” Dean recited in a mocking, feminine voice. Sam felt his cheeks prickle with heat as he began to blush, and Dean grinned.  
“Aww, Sammy,” he nudged his brother gently.  
“Shut up,” Sam muttered a little sharply, unable to take his mind away from Jess. Four months felt way too soon to be moving on, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to anyway.  
“Hey, c’mon. It would be good for ya,” Dean said quietly.  
“I can’t,” Sam shook his head.  
“Look, Sammy. Get a social life! You don’t have to go propose to that girl, y’know. Just go see her sometime, be friends. You barely go out unless for work or if Rosie needs diapers.”  
“I have to care for Rose,” Sam squeezed her gently.  
“Yeah, but even the best daddies need their breaks. I’m sure Grandma would love to play with her only granddaughter.”  
Sam smirked, “You haven’t seen her play with her only granddaughter.”  
Dean chuckled, “That bad?”  
“I think even Rose cringes,” Sam smiled, picking up a can of beer and throwing it to Dean before getting his own.   
Dean flicked on the TV and lounged on the couch, while Sam sat on the floor with Rose lying on his chest. For the rest of the day, the two brothers sat watching crappy Christmas films, not bothering with anything else.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my beta and I have been super busy! Chapter 13 should be up very soon :)

Ok Why was shopping for a baby so difficult? Sam looked at his watch. He needed to be out of the store and in his car to get to work five minutes ago. He didn’t understand why Dean couldn’t get her the damn toy he so insisted she needed; it’s not like she didn’t have buckets full of toys already.   
“Crap,” he muttered.  
“Do you need any help, sir?” an overly enthusiastic girl with untidy brown hair startled Sam as she practically leapt up to him. He didn’t miss the quick flicker of a once-over she gave him.   
“Erm… I need some kind of teething… thing,” Sam shrugged, holding up several teething toys.  
“Alright! Well, those are all great. I recommend this though,” Lucy – her badge said - took a toy giraffe from the shelf. “It’s our most popular teething toy. Are you shopping for your own baby or someone else’s?”  
“My own. Rose. She’s six months,” Sam nodded, then sighed and muttered. “Six months today.”  
Lucy didn’t appear to notice Sam’s negativity. Either that or she ignored it, “Aww, I bet she’s adorable! She’ll love this!” she smiled. “And look, it even has…”  
She squeezed the rubber giraffe, grinning widely at the loud squeak, “A squeaker!”  
Sam raised an eyebrow in mock enthusiasm, “Yeah. Great. Thanks.”  
He took the giraffe and put the rest of the toys back.  
“You should take some other teething toys, you know, just in case she doesn’t like the giraffe,” Lucy handed most of the toys back to him. “And our range of dresses is half off! Did you need anything else? Are you starting her on solids? Baby food is that way. Would you like me to show you?”  
“Thanks, but I have to go. We have baby food,” Sam made a quick getaway to the checkout, too focused on getting to work to notice he was paying over $40 on teething toys. He got back to his car and drove to work as fast as he could. Dean had said it after hundreds of hunts and he finally found himself agreeing; people were crazy.  
\--  
That was definitely a headache forming, Dean decided as he tried to get Rosie to eat only to be denied again. It didn’t help that those gorgeous eyes of hers kept changing between betrayal when she stared up at him, to longing at the bottle on the counter.   
“Please, Rosie?” he pouted. “Try some baby food? Carrots and veggies and potatoes and stuff, it’s great! Try it!”  
Rose widened her eyes and turned her face away from the approaching spoon, whimpering and sticking her bottom lip out.  
“Hey, pout-face, give Uncle Dean a smile?” Dean tickled his little niece’s cheek, and she gave him a grin with her two bottom teeth. It was nothing like Sammy but Dean loved it just as much; often he saw his brother in his niece, her mannerisms taking him back to when he often held onto a little bundle but then she’d do something completely unique – completely Rosie and he was a goner. “That’s more like it!”  
Dean placed the bowl of warm baby food on the high-chair tray and hoped for the best. Rose stared it for a while and reached for it, picking it up and dropping the contents all over herself. Dean rolled his eyes and picked up the bowl, while Rose stared at the mess all over her clothes.  
“I’ve met vampires cleaner than you,” he said, eye brows raised, as he glanced at the disgusting infant. It didn’t help when she started to eat it now it was all over her. “Smart move. Real genius. Of course it tastes better al la baby.”   
Dean couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face when she started gurgling though. “C’mon kiddo,” he said trying – and failing – to keep her at arm’s length to take her over to the changing matt. “You owe me a shirt,” he murmured to his gurgling niece who didn’t give two figs, placing a mushy, cold, slightly sloppy hand on his cheek. Dean shuddered. “It’s a good thing I love you, kid.”   
She continued to kick her legs as he placed her down, making the struggle to remove the gross onesie that much harder and left the surrounding area full of flecks of mushed up food. Sam may possibly kill him. She babbled to herself in conversation, while Dean removed her food-covered onesie and replaced it with another. Dean, after reading the baby books again, began repeating everything she said. Rose found this hilarious, giggling ecstatically every time he repeated her.  
“Da-da-da-da,” Rose mumbled repeatedly, playing with her hands and then clinging to Dean as she was lifted again.  
“Dada? He’ll be home later. Don’t you worry about that,” Dean kissed her forehead, placing her on the soft carpet. She sat up, her hands on the floor and her bright eyes staring at her uncle.  
“Having fun, Rosie?” Dean said softly, giving her another bowl of baby food and picking up a spoonful. “Don’t tell Dada that Uncle Dean fed you on the floor, okay?”  
Rose still avoided the spoon, but Dean let her taken some more of the food from his finger, trying to make it as clear as possible that the spoon had the good tasting food on. His attempts failed, and he allowed Rose her milk, satisfied that they’d made some progress.  
Rose lost interest in her bottle and instead reached for her toy, whimpering as she reached as far as she could.  
“You really love bunny, huh?” Dean moved the toy into his niece’s reach. “I don’t remember having a toy I really loved like that.”  
He shrugged, “Your Dad did. A little bear that Mom got him. Wouldn’t let go of that thing for years.”  
Rose stared at Dean, wide eyed.  
“I wish your mom was here, Rosie. No one should have to miss this, no kid should have to suffer it either. She’d have loved you so much. Didn’t know her, but she really changed your Dad,” he stroked Rosie’s hair as she tugged at her bunny’s ear, “But if your mom was here, your Dad wouldn’t have let me anywhere near you.”  
He was unsure whether to carry on, “I get it. People like me, we ain’t always good news. But it would have been tough, knowing I have a little niece, but not being allowed to see her. But it’s alright. Here I am. But sometimes I wonder if your Dad would happily swap me for your Mom. I get that. I’d do anything for my Mom back. My Dad was the same.”  
Rose had lost interest in her toy and was staring up at Dean again. He chuckled to himself and planted a kiss on her forehead.  
“You’re a good listener, you know that?” he held her tiny hand as she began to smile. “Hey, you’re getting your Daddy’s eye colour. It suits you. Lucky girl.”  
\--  
Sam didn’t arrive at work too late, but his boss was oblivious anyway. This was normal now, as something had caused his boss to suddenly rethink his attitude to his employees. The youngest Winchester brother wasn’t ready to think about work, but tried his best. He was distracted, knew there was something he should have remembered. It was only when he got up from his desk, knocking over the photo of himself and Jess, did he remember. It was February 8th, six months since Jess’s death, and Rose’s birth. Thinking of it that way frustrated Sam. He knew how much his little daughter meant to him, but the reminder that his wife was taken from him the exact same day as Rose’s birth caused negative thoughts in his mind. He couldn’t shake them, no matter what he did.  
Eyes feeling moist, Sam got into his car and left for his lunch break. He had brought a lunch, but had gone off the idea of eating a sandwich. He opted for a diner, not seemingly special to anyone. For Sam it was. Jess and Sam had planned a celebratory meal for when they finally got a bigger place but – well, Sam had never learnt how to cook and Jess got distracted – needless to say they ended up in the small little diner, laughing at their failure, still too loved up to care about the food they’d wasted.   
Sam sat alone, in the same booth, facing the empty, opposite side. It hurt him, the memories sparking pain in his chest, but he didn’t get up to leave. Instead, he ordered fries with a side order of salad, too large for his appetite, but he didn’t notice.  
Sam ran a hand through his hair and called Dean. Anything to make himself feel more normal and distract himself from the memories barging into his mind, making themselves known. He let out a long sigh, waiting for Dean to pick up. Instead, he got voicemail.  
“C’mon,” Sam muttered at Dean’s pre-recorded, serious voice. He concluded he must have taken Rose out and had left his phone behind.  
“Sam!” the young lawyer flinched as someone sat opposite him. “Didn’t know you ate here too!”  
He looked up to find Ruby, hair tied back in a single braid and wearing a casual black leather jacket with jeans.  
“I’ve not been here in years,” Sam mumbled, hunching his shoulders as she sat down. His food was brought to the table, but he only gave a small nod in response.   
“Thanks,” Ruby said on his behalf, deciding against pressing Sam further and taking a few French fries.  
“How’s Rose doing?” Ruby leaned a little closer, “Last time I saw her she gave me a huge smile!”  
Sam smiled at the thought of his daughter. Remembering the grin on her face whenever he got home from work always cheered him up, “She’s good. My brother dressed her up last week, he thinks he’s hilarious.”  
He showed her a photo of Rose dressed as a frog, grinning ecstatically, on his phone.  
“Aww, she’s a little sweetheart,” Ruby squealed quietly. “We should meet up. Take her somewhere.”  
Sam took out some dollar bills and stood up.  
“Where are you going?” Ruby frowned.  
“I just have to get to Jess before I go back to work,” Sam sighed, closing his eyes in frustration, “I didn’t get flowers.”  
“I’ll get some with you. Nothing else to do,” Ruby stood up with him, paying for half of Sam’s food. It seemed he had no choice.  
Sam took a while, ending up buying an assortment of everything, including one rose. He’d hoped Ruby would leave him alone after that, give him the chance to be alone with his wife, but instead he followed him right to Jessica’s grave, standing beside him. He was torn. He wanted to be alone, to talk to Jess without feeling self-conscious, but he couldn’t gain the courage to ask Ruby for some privacy. He laid the flowers, tears falling down his cheeks, and Ruby put a hand on his shoulder.  
“She was beautiful,” she murmured. “Rosie looks just like her.”  
Sam closed his eyes and wiped away the tears, saying nothing. But once he got back in the car, he couldn’t stop. He told Ruby everything. How he and Jess met, their relationship, college, getting engaged, all the way up to when Jess got sick, and Rose’s birth. He lost track of time, feeling more at ease letting out his feelings to Ruby that he did to Dean. It was only after an angry phone call from his boss that reminded him, and he rushed back to work, Ruby back on the way.   
\--  
Sam got out of work late, determined to make it up to his boss, not only for a quieter life but because he became worried that if he let his grief control him for too long, he’d have no job. Although Sam had a small suspicion that the Moore’s were prepared to catapult money at him to support himself and Rose, he didn’t want that. He got his phone out to call Dean, letting him know how he’d be late, but once again received no answer. Sam then set off to Jess’s grave once more, this time alone.  
Rain slowly began to wet the ground as Sam knelt in front of the headstone. He hadn’t noticed, but Sue and Peter had put down more photos of their daughter, and even pictures of Rose. Sam allowed tears to overflow from his eyes as he took a shaking breath.   
“I miss you,” was all Sam could manage, shaking his head. “I need you, she needs you.”  
He reached and gently stroked the photo of Rose, “She looks like you, Jess. She looks just like you. She’s so beautiful.”  
Sam stayed silent for a while, almost like he was waiting for a response.   
“I’m trying so hard. I can’t let you down, Jess,” he whispered, wiping his eyes and standing up. “I love you.”  
Sam decided to try Dean once again, beginning to feel anxious about the lack of contact. He called his brother, sitting in his car and fidgeting impatiently. The phone rang for eternity, and Sam was taken to voicemail. Again.  
“Answer your damn phone, Dean,” Sam rolled his eyes, disconnecting the call and putting his phone in his pocket. He started the car, but stopped and stared.  
He was back.  
He hadn’t seen the man in the trench coat for a while, but there he was, staring at Jessica’s grave. Sam wanted to get out the car, interrogate this man. Why did he keep turning up anyways?   
\---  
In truth, Castiel had avoided Sam seeing him. Dean was aware that the angel had frequently appeared in front of Sam, and he knew his little brother would be, or would soon be, very suspicious. Castiel hadn’t meant for Sam to see him. Dean’s frustration about Castiel’s inability to save Jessica had confused him. Dean had never even met Jessica before. So why was he so upset? The angel didn’t understand people, the Winchester’s more than most left him feeling this way. Perhaps, if Jessica Moore had been saved, Sam would be happy.   
\----  
Sam decided against talking to the stranger and instead drove home, slightly concerned about Dean’s lack of contact. The sky was beginning to darken, and as Sam pulled into his road he could see no lights on in his house. No way in hell had Dean taken an early night, and it was too late to be taking Rose out for a walk. He got out the car and ran to the door.  
“Dean?” Sam called, but was greeted only by silence, “Might be nice to pick up the phone sometime.”  
As Sam walked down the hall, he stood on something soft. One of Rose’s mittens.  
“Rose?” Sam said loudly, but shook his head in annoyance. Like she’s gonna answer, he thought to himself, but then he started to panic.  
“Rose!” he ran upstairs, finding her crib empty and the salt around it disturbed.  
“No,” he whispered to himself, darting back downstairs, “Dean!”  
He hurriedly dialled Dean’s number once more, his hands shaking as he waited.  
“Where the hell are you, Dean? Where’s Rose? If something happened to her, I swear-”  
Sam stopped as something floated to the ground by his feet. A note, in Dean’s scrawling writing. There was a phone number written in large lettering, with an illegible word beside it. Sam wasn’t even sure if it was a note for him or if Dean had written it for himself, but he dialled the number regardless.  
“Harv-”  
“Dean, where the hell are you?!” he wasn’t sure what came over him, “You don’t just leave on some case and take my daughter with you! She’s a baby, dumbass! If anything happened to her, I’ll-”  
“Woah!” a female voice cut Sam off without warning, “Calm down, jackass! Dean isn’t here. He’s on a hunt.”  
Sam composed himself and sighed, “I’m sorry, I just…” then her words pulled at him. A hunt? “What? He’s on a hunt?”   
“Sam Winchester?” the woman said with slight sarcasm. “Dean had to go on a hunt and left your kid with us. Thought he told you.”  
“Yeah, he didn’t,” Sam said curtly. “I tried to call – who are you?” And more importantly, why is Dean comfortable leaving his daughter with her? He thought but didn’t ask.   
“Ellen Harvelle. Ya kid is with my daughter, Jo,” Ellen said, “Wait, did you say Dean didn’t tell you?”  
“No,” Sam frowned.  
“I’m going to kill him,” Ellen said in exasperation. “Honestly Sam, he said you were okay with it. We wouldn’t have taken her otherwise, god knows there are enough hunters runnin’ round to take the job. “   
“Get in line,” Sam muttered before grabbing a pen, “I’m coming, where are you?   
“Sam, she’s fine,” as if to illustrate her point he heard Rosie giggling in the background and his heart calmed – just a little. He was still going to kill Dean.   
“All the same,” he began but Ellen chuckled.   
“Okay, kid. I’d be the same. We’re at The Roadhouse,” she said and then continued with directions Sam scribbled down eagerly.   
“Cute kid you got. Dean seemed pretty taken with her.” He forced himself not to snap but he really wanted to get going, she seemed to understand. “See you soon, Sam.”  
Dean may trust this Ellen and Jo, but Sam wasn’t so sure. They were associated with hunters, and that was what made him so anxious.  
He managed to get off the phone and went straight to his car, starting up the engine and driving away.  
Rose should be having a bath now, Sam thought, Rose should be in bed by now.  
He was beginning to tire as well. It had been a long day; he shouldn’t have been driving so late. Sam pulled up at the Roadhouse, the place looking deserted, but he briskly made his way inside. The place looked dead and he straightened, nerves heightened till he span to the same woman’s voice as before.  
“You must be Sam,” a woman with dark blonde hair leaned against the bar. Sam nodded.  
“You’re Ellen?”  
“Sure am. She’s out back with Jo and Ash,” she tilted her head in the direction, following him as he went to find his daughter. A blonde girl, Sam guessed Jo, was sat at a table, holding Rose’s little hands and gently shaking to them, cooing to her softly. They were joined by a man with a, in Sam’s view, fucked up hairstyle, hiding his face.  
“Where’s Uncle Ashy?” he whispered. “There he is!”  
He revealed his face, and Rose burst into excited laughter, clapping her hands and reaching for him. Ash patted her head and grinned.  
“I want one of those,” he said. “They’re cute.”  
Jo raised an eyebrow, “A baby is more than just something cute, Ash.”  
Rose caught sight of Sam, and her eyes lit up. She squealed, reaching for him and babbling endlessly. Jo and Ash turned to see Sam, still in his work uniform. Ash looked Sam up and down and raised an eyebrow, but Jo smiled and looked back at Rose.  
“Is that your Daddy?” she whispered, gently tickling Rose’s cheek. The little girl began to whimper, reaching for Sam desperately. He instantly scooped her up, stroking her hair gently.  
“I was so worried,” he whispered, closing his eyes tight for a moment before looking at Ellen and Jo. “Thank you. For taking care of her,” He added begrudgingly.  
“She’s been no trouble,” Ellen began to smile. “I know we’re not ideal, but if you need someone to care for her again…”  
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” Sam nodded whilst his mind screamed no way in hell.  
“I gave her a bath. Dean packed enough for five babies,” Jo said, waving at Rose as she giggled and waved her arms.  
“Sounds like Dean,” Sam was going to punch him, “I should go.”  
“It’s late, Sam. Stay here a while. Have a break. I’d let you stay here, but no room. Can’t get you and Rose on the couch.”  
“It’s alright,” Sam replied. “I’ll find a motel.”  
“Stay here a bit first. Nearest motel is still quite a drive,” Ellen’s voice was more insistent than welcoming and it raised his hackles again. “Coffee?”  
Sam wanted to just get the hell away from these people but he had Rose to think about and he was hardly in the shape to drive. Damn his brother, “Yes…yes please.”  
Ellen went to make the coffee, and Sam noticed Ash in the corner of his eye making stupid faces at Rose, who had no interest. She began to droop, her eyelashes fluttering as she began to fell asleep with her head on Sam’s shoulder. He couldn’t help eyeing Ash with wariness.  
“What?” Ash raised his hands. “Kids love weird faces.”  
“Yeah, well your face is so boring you’ve sent her to sleep,” Jo shoved him with a grin and went to help her mom. Ash slumped in his chair, sulking, and Jo looked back at him with a smirk.  
“You get used to him after a couple years,” she told Sam, who raised his eyebrows and nodded.  
“I guess so.”  
Rose began whimpering, her tiny hands clinging to Sam’s shirt as she wriggled uncomfortably.  
“Diaper,” he said quietly, taking a diaper from Rose’s bag.  
“I’ll do it,” Jo offered, approaching Sam with her arms outstretched.  
“It’s fine. I can do it,” Sam frowned, walking towards the untidy looking bathroom.  
“Let the boy care for his own kid, Jo,” Ellen murmured, then hushed her tone. “Dean said he needs as much time with her as he can get.”  
Sam glared at floor and laid Rose on the bathroom work surface. From the rusty, cracked open window, the familiar roar of the Impala’s engine could be heard faintly in the distance, slowly growing closer. Sam was unsure whether to be glad, or preparing to confront Dean about leaving Rose with strangers. He knew Dean would never have left Rose with Jo and Ellen if he didn’t completely trust them, and Sam could see they had no bad intentions and were perfectly safe, but they were still strangers. Sam would probably have not allowed Dean to leave her at the Roadhouse if he’d asked, unless he met them first. To make things worse, the place was crawling with hunters.  
It turned out Sam didn’t have to do anything.  
“Hey, Ellen, Jo,” Dean greeted as he entered the building. He nodded at Ash, “…Ash.”  
“You got a brain in there, boy?” Ellen said fiercely.   
Dean’s hazel eyes widened a little, “Uh…”  
“Thought not,” Ellen narrowed her eyes. “What were ya thinkin’?”  
“What?” Dean didn’t appear to be catching on.  
“You left your brother’s kid with people he never met,” Ellen snapped. “And you didn’t even bother telling him!”  
“Yeah, but…” Dean began.  
“And you told me he was okay with it! Explain why that boy calls up all frantic ‘cause he doesn’t know where his daughter is,” Ellen clenched her fists. “He don’t know us, dumbass. You said he doesn’t want Rose near hunters, and you leave her here.”  
Sam left the bathroom with Rose’s head rested on his shoulder, and Dean visibly relaxed.  
“Hey, Sammy,” he said a little sheepishly. “I called your in-laws, Sue, Peter, even Jess’s brother. Do they even know how a phone works? They never answer the damn things! Bobby called for a case and wouldn’t wait around. What did you expect me to do? Leave her at home alone?”  
“Could have at least called him, let him know,” Jo rolled her eyes at Dean.  
Dean gave up his self-defence, “Sorry, Sam.”  
“Whatever,” Sam shrugged. “I should get to a motel. Thanks for taking care of her, Ellen, Jo,” he paused looking at the guy still pulling faces at Rose, “Ash.”  
“Take care, Sam,” Ellen nodded politely. “Good meetin’ ya. Call if you need anything.”  
Jo waved at Rose, who smiled briefly before wriggling closer to Sam and closing her eyes.  
“Catch ya around, tiny amigo,” Ash raised a hand to Rose. “Uncle Ash will teach you the ways of Ash. When you’re older.  
Sam didn’t respond to that, thanking Ellen and Jo once more and ignoring Ash.  
“Hey, Sam,” Dean called, and Sam turned to see his brother following him. He strapped Rose in her car seat and turned around. She whimpered and cried from the separation.  
“I’m sorry, y’know. For leaving her here without telling you,” Dean shrugged.   
“I can’t believe you,” Sam huffed, flinging himself into the driver’s seat. “What the hell?”  
“The Harvelles are like family-“ Dean started but Sam cut him off.   
“Don’t!” he yelled, then winced when Rose started to cry. “They aren’t my family! I don’t know them and you didn’t even tell me. She’s my daughter for god’s sake, Dean.”  
His brother hunched up, screwing his head up. “I’m sorry.”   
Sam shook his head. “I’ll talk to you later, when you aren’t covered in blood,” he added in disgust, pulling out of the lot.   
Whatever else Dean said, Sam ignored, hurrying to the nearest motel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support :D


	13. Chapter 13

You excited, Rosie?” Dean bounced the young infant in his arms. “You’re gonna be a whole year old tomorrow.”  
“Ye!” Rose squealed excitedly, but then again, she didn’t fully understand. He also couldn’t help feeling Sam should be more excited; perhaps between the two of them they could get one balanced response. Dean didn’t call him on it, he didn’t have a clue what this must mean to him except each day closer to that year mark was a day without Jess. He only hoped for Rosie’s sake the man could hold himself together on his daughter’s birthday, even if it did mark a rather sad anniversary.   
Sam placed the bowl of warm baby food down on Rose’s high chair, and Dean settled her down in it. The little girl wriggled and whimpered uncomfortably, her arms reaching up towards her father and uncle, alternating between the two.  
“She really doesn’t like that high chair, huh?” Dean shrugged, kneeling beside her and tickling her cheek to calm her down.  
“That thing was too expensive for it to not be used,” Sam got the plastic baby spoon from the drawer. “You wanna do it?”  
“Nah,” Dean grinned, “I wanna see her throw food all over her Daddy’s work suit again.”  
The young father rolled his eyes, sitting opposite Rose and dipping the spoon in the food. Rose watched intently and opened her mouth instantly.  
“Ba!” she said loudly.  
“Rosie talk for “gimme food, dad!”” Dean said quietly. “You wait ‘til she tries her first pie, Sammy. She’ll want it all the time. She’ll be saying “pie!” every day.”  
Sam didn’t respond, feeding Rose in silence and helping her hold her sippy cup of apple juice.  
“Mmm,” Rose giggled, and Dean stroked her cheek again.  
“Is it good?” he asked softly, “Does Daddy give you good stuff?”  
Rose mumbled something inaudible.  
“Yeah, see! She approves of your food, Sam. At least someone does.”  
Sam began to smile, putting the empty bowl and cup away and lifting her up into his arms.  
“I’ll be back late tonight, Dean,” he bounced Rose gently, “Her lunch is in the fridge. And her dinner. Make sure she drinks enough. There’s juice in the fridge too, and water.”  
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Dean rolled his eyes. “You tell me every time. You go have fun with the law and stuff.”  
Sam kissed Rose’s cheek, “And take her out. Don’t coop her up inside.”  
Rose put her hands on her father’s shoulder and pulled herself up, stretching and pressing her face on his cheek before relaxing back in his arms again.  
“Aww, look Sam! She wanted to kiss her old man,” Dean smiled. “Gimme your phone.”  
“No, Dean, I have to-” Sam began, but his big brother had already grabbed the cell phone on the side and taken a photo.  
Rose began to catch on with what was happening, too familiar with the set up by now. She started whimpering, her tiny hands curling around Sam’s jacket, “Dada. Dada.”  
Sam sighed quietly and gave Rose her toy, which she clutched at instantly, then kissed her forehead once more, “I’ll see you later.”  
Rose reached for her father and whimpered as she was passed over to Dean, and her whimpers quickly morphed into forlorn cries. Sam hated that part. He got his bag and jacket and left, while Dean stood in the doorway with Rose, bouncing her and waving her arm.  
“Say bye to Daddy,” Dean smiled softly.  
“Ba,” Rose mumbled, “Ba…bye.”  
Dean sat on the couch and used his only method for cheering up his niece after Sam left for work. He flicked the TV on, putting it on some kids cartoon channel. She stared at the colours and characters, reaching for the screen.  
“Ah!” she said, pointing at the screen and looking back at Dean.  
“Yeah, that’s a cat,” Dean kissed her forehead, “Can you say that?”  
Rose attempted to imitate Dean’s whole sentence, not quite managing the words but getting the tone almost spot on.  
“Really?” Dean said with interest, gently bouncing her on his knee. “You’re so smart, Rosie. Got your Daddy’s brains.”  
“Dada,” Rose said quietly, pouting and leaning on Dean, hiding her face in his shirt and babbling to herself.  
After a messy lunchtime, leading to a bath, Dean decided to follow Sam’s orders and take Rose out to the park. Sam rarely took her there, or if he did, he walked straight through it with Rose in her stroller without stopping at the play park. Dean preferred it like that. It meant he had an activity with Rose that he felt was just his. The play park was deserted, but Dean wasn’t fazed. He left the empty stroller by a bench and slung the bag over his shoulder while holding Rose’s hand. She toddled slowly beside him, capable of walking alone but making a fuss if she didn’t have a hand to hold.   
Dean lifted her into a baby swing and gently pushed her, smiling at the excitement emanating from the small toddler.  
“Wish I could have taken Sammy to the park more,” he said quietly. “He would have loved that.”  
When Rose got bored with the swing, Dean sat her on his knee on the bench.  
“Snack-time,” he held her with one arm and took a tub of chopped banana from the bag.  
“Ba!” Rose reached for her food, “Ba!”  
“Yeah, yeah, you’re getting your banana,” Dean opened the tub. “Patience, Rosie.”  
Dean picked up a slice of banana on a plastic baby fork, and Rose reached for it with her hands.  
“Me!”   
“Want to feed yourself?” Dean said softly, giving her the fork and putting his hand around hers. He guided the fork to her mouth, and the toddler ate noisily, grinning at her uncle.  
“Num num,” she said, her green brown eyes sparkling, so proud of herself.   
“Yeah, bananas are good. I prefer pie, but you’re too little for that. Well, so your Dad says. He prefers you eating rabbit food.”  
Rose stayed focused on the banana, watching her fork pick a slice up and opening her mouth wide.  
“I sure like your enthusiasm,” Dean nodded. “Your Dad was picky.”  
Once all the pieces were gone, Dean stood Rose on her feet and watched as she toddled a few steps away, then straight back to him and reached to get back up.  
“Aww, c’mon. Don’t you wanna play?” he lifted her up again. “Or are you bored?”  
Rose mumbled to herself, clinging to Dean and resting her head on his chest tiredly.  
“All the fun of the park tired you out, ma’am?” Dean said, placing her in the stroller and beginning to make his way back home.   
But something wasn’t right.  
The park hadn’t exactly been crawling with people before, but now it was completely empty. It was a nice day too; the weather couldn’t have been the reason for the lack of activity. Dean quickened his pace, Rose falling asleep under her blankets. He tried to convince himself he was paranoid, that of course nothing was wrong, but he was struggling to reassure himself. He knew something wasn’t right. He just knew. And in his line of working, that kinda thing couldn’t be over looked.   
His hand was going for his pocket when they appeared.  
“Not today fella, I’m on baby-sitting duty,” he said calmly even if his heart was pounding. “How about we reschedule?”  
The first of the three demons blocking Dean’s path began to circle. The moment Dean’s eyes flickered to where they were heading, one of the other’s barrelled into him from the side, knocking him onto the ground.  
The hunter grabbed the holy water from the stroller’s basket, throwing it at the demons closing in on Rose’s stroller.  
“Get away from her!” Dean roared, enraged, sending one demon to the ground with a single kick and lifting the infant into his arms as she began to cry, his eyes mapping out the area, looking for a way to escape this and get Rosie to safety.   
“Uncle Dean’s got you, sweetheart. You’ll be just-”   
He was cut off as a blow to the ribs that sent him sideways onto the concrete. Dean wrapped his arms around his niece to protect her as best he could, and he began reciting the exorcism. The nearest demon began to choke and writhe in pain, but the luckier few turned tail and managed to escape the chant. Several clouds of black smoke rushed out of their vessels and sunk into the ground, while Rose was suddenly grabbed from Dean’s arms. He had no idea how, but he seemed to have missed one.  
“Rosie!” Dean yelled, his voice thickened with panic as he raced to catch up with his only niece. He couldn’t see her, but he could hear her cries and screams from the arms of the escaping demon. The only thing on Dean’s mind was Sam, and how he’d react if he lost Rose. He couldn’t let that happen. Sam wasn’t about to lose another part of him.  
Dean threw his knife, wishing it was something more substantial, at Rose’s captor, and caught him in the back. His confusion allowed Dean enough time to grab his niece back and run.   
For a moment, he gained confidence, enough to think he could possibly get away, get home to the safety of salt lines and devil traps. Rose cried loudly while Dean tried his damnedest to get away from the black eyed freaks, but his reflexes proved were too slow when three demons appeared in front of him. Dean groaned as he was thrown to the floor, but leapt up in panic, convinced he’d landed on and crushed Rose. To his relief, he hadn’t, but that meant something else.  
Looking up, Dean found Rose in the arms of a demon. The demon was female, tall and blonde and wearing all black. With a touch to the forehead, the infant silenced into a peaceful sleep, nestling close to her captor. Dean took the holy water from his pocket, but before he could act, something was shoved into his stomach, penetrating the skin and going in deep. His eyes widened, gasping for breath before the knife was yanked from his abdomen. He was kicked to the ground, and the dazed, bleeding hunter struggled to compose himself. The blonde demon got into a car.  
“No,” Dean choked out, pulling himself up, “Rosie!”  
He turned to the nearest demon and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, “You get her back, you filthy son of a bitch, or I’ll-”  
His words were beginning to slur.  
“You’ll what, huh, Winchester?” the demon grinned, eyes gleaming as they turned jet black. “You’re defenceless. No weapon to save you. You’re as good as-”  
Dean didn’t let her finish her sentence, throwing the last of the holy water at the demon’s arrogant expression. Her skin hissed, burning, but Dean never got the chance to savour the moment. He cried out as the same knife was planted into his back. The oldest Winchester fell to the floor in agony and disorientation. This didn’t put him off. As he was dragged away from the empty stroller, Dean thrashed and struggled as fiercely as he could to release himself. Waiting. Just waiting.   
“Cas,” Dean yelled, “Castiel!”  
Closing his eyes tight, he waited for the familiar, soft sound of wings. Instead, he was greeted only by the obnoxious laughter as he was thrown into the back of some van. He struggled to move, his vision distorting as the van began to move.  
\--  
“I need to see Sam Winchester!” a voice yelled frantically from outside the lawyer’s office.  
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Sam’s boss said firmly. “He’s with a client at the moment. You’ll have to wait.”  
Sam stared at the door.  
“Mr Winchester?” the voice of his client made him snap back to his case.  
“Sorry, I…” Sam stuttered, but looked to the door again.  
“It’s urgent! His daughter…” he didn’t hear the rest, but he didn’t have to. He stood up abruptly, causing his client to flinch.  
“I’m sorry - excuse me,” Sam left his office in a hurry.  
“Ruby?”  
Ruby shot a glare at Sam’s boss and grabbed Sam’s arm, dragging him towards the elevator at fast pace.  
“Get back here, Sam! I swear to God!” his boss yelled but Sam was more concerned with the tiny woman dragging him.  
“What are you-?”  
“They took Rosie. We have to go,” she said bluntly. Panic shot through every nerve in Sam’s body.   
“What?” he demanded, pulling free of her grip and moving back. “What are you?”  
“What am I? What the hell are you on about?” she shook her head and looked him straight in the eyes. “I saw some guys attack your brother – they beat him up pretty bad – before I got a chance to call anyone they were both gone but I do know which direction they went.   
Sam couldn’t argue with that. “Which way?”  
\--  
Ruby unlocked her car and got inside, and Sam dialled Dean’s number.   
“Dean?” Sam’s voice shook violently as he spoke to voicemail. “Where are you? Where’s Rose? What the hell happened?”  
He dialled over and over, letting out a yell of frustration and throwing his phone to the floor. Ruby pulled him into the car after he retrieved it, and finally started to drive.   
“Calm down,” Ruby said, “We’ll get her back.”  
“You don’t know that,” Sam glared at her.  
“Do you trust me?” Ruby’s voice turned harsh, and Sam flinched and nodded.  
“Good. Then shut the fuck up.”  
Sam demanded she pulled up at his home, where he searched frantically through the house for both signs of life and anything he could think of, grabbing a bag and shoving salt and knives from the chopping block in. It wasn’t much but it was better than going in empty-handed; he was on his way back outside when he passed her room, saw the bunny. His heart clenched and he moved to it, grabbing onto it before letting go.   
Ruby was stomping her foot on the ground, leaning against the car door as he exited the house, expression unreadable.   
“Have you checked down the plug hole?” Ruby called. “I told you they’re not there, dumbo. You’re just wasting time.”  
\--  
Dean began to open his eyes, finding himself slumped against a wall in some old building. His vision was unfocused, and no matter how hard he tried, he struggled to properly take in his whereabouts. The walls had patches of mould and the floor was cold and hard. And then Dean saw the dark read soaking the floor and himself. Then he remembered.  
“Rosie,” he managed to choke out, unable to gain the strength to push himself up. Instead, his arms gave way and he ended up on his side, his eyes slowly drifting shut once more.  
\--  
Ruby looked over at Sam as she drove.  
“Hey, Sam,” her voice had softened considerably. “You doing okay?”  
Sam stayed silent, holding the bunny close and clenching his fists. Never had he longed to hold his little daughter more in his life. Hold her in his arms and know she was safe. Hear her laughter and her sweet voice say his name, whether she was referring to him or not. More than that, he wanted to know he hadn’t let Jess down.  
“Sam?” Ruby looked at him, half expectantly.  
“I have nothing to say,” Sam said in a monotone. “I just want her safe.”  
He hadn’t considered his brother. Where was he in all of this? Ruby said he got beat up, but maybe that’s all she saw. In truth, Sam hadn’t even considered the possibility of some supernatural force being behind the kidnap. Ruby looked briefly at the toy in his hand before focusing on the road once more.  
\--  
Shrieks and bright flashes of light disturbed the weakened hunter from his unconsciousness. He slowly opened his eyes, finding himself in the same, dull, rotting place.  
“Dean,” the deep, serious voice the oldest Winchester had wanted to hear, finally spoke. He looked up to find Castiel standing over him. Slowly, the angel knelt and inspected the damage.  
“What- what –“ Dean was struggling to form words.  
“You were attacked by demons,” Castiel murmured. “I could not get to you sooner. I am sorry.”  
“Yeah,” Dean mumbled. “How?”  
“They banished me, sigils on the walls and doors. They knew I would come. It is worrying.”   
“That’s - that’s - great,” Dean choked for a moment. “But if you hadn’t noticed.”  
He looked down at the bloodstained clothing and felt his head begin to spin. Castiel’s expression turned from stoic to concern, and immediately he placed his hand on Dean’s forehead. The blood began to disappear, and Dean’s body was intact.  
“How many times do I have to save you from dying?” Dean was sure he saw a flicker of a smile on Castiel’s lips. He stood up to face the angel.  
“Erm, thanks,” Dean brushed himself down. “Now, where the hell is Rosie?”  
“I don’t know. Not yet,” Castiel shot Dean a look of agitated frustration, eyes wide. “I have to find her, Dean.”  
“Hey, I know. Me too. Worried you’ll get into shit with the old G-O-D if he knows you lost your charge?”  
“I was banished, Dean. It wasn’t my fault,” The angel responded. “It is important that Rose Jessica Winchester is safe.”  
“I still don’t get why they want her, Cas. You didn’t bother explaining. Yeah, she’s cute but not exactly on demon’s most wanted for pissing them off. What did she do, giggle too much?”  
“She is innocent, Dean. She is an infant. She did not do anything,” Cas stared at the floor.  
“Then what?” Dean snapped, failing to notice Cas’s head snap up in alertness. “Why the fuck do they just take some kid, Cas? Why Rose?”  
“They do not want Rose,” Castiel stood up slowly, but he was distracted, eyes scanning around the room. “They want your brother.”  
\--  
Ruby pressed her foot down on the accelerator and Sam had to hold on tight, the style reminded him of his brother, the thought spiking him with guilt. He couldn’t help but think the worst. Rose had started to become clingy, and was getting distressed when Sam or Dean weren’t around. She even freaked when Sam had gone into a different room. He hated to think how she would be reacting. And where was Dean?  
“Where are we going?” Sam mumbled.  
“The direction they went. Hoping we’ll find something,” Ruby muttered.  
“How do we even know if we’re following them?” Sam glared. “We’ll never find them this way.”  
“Got any better ideas, genius?” Ruby snapped, stunning Sam into silence for a few seconds.  
“I’m calling someone-“  
After trying Dean once more, and once again receiving no response, he dialled Bobby’s number.  
“Sam? Everythin’ okay, boy?”  
“Someone took Rose, Bobby,” Sam’s words shook. “And Dean’s not answering his phone. Now I’m on some random road driving in some random direction. And finding nothing.”  
Bobby rubbed his beard as he noticed the break in the young man’s voice, “Hey, hey, don’t panic, son.” he wasn’t sure what to suggest. “Do you know what took her?”  
“I…” Sam widened his eyes. “I don’t know.”  
“I’ll look into anything in yer area. I’ll get to yer house, ‘kay? We’ll sort this out, Sam. Call the roadhouse.”  
“I-” Sam began, but his phone slipped from his hand. The car swerved in the luckily empty road, and Sam winced as Ruby let out high pitched, agonised screeches. Her skin was steaming grotesquely.   
“Forgot to tell your brother you’ve been hanging out with some demon bitch, Sam?” Dean snapped, and Sam turned to see him and the man in the trench coat. Then he looked back, straight into the jet black eyes of the demon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my beta&I have been busy!

After the holy-water attack, Ruby recovered enough to pull over, still smoking the entire time. Neither of the brother's took their eyes off of the demon the entire time. Sam practically jumped out of the car the moment it stopped, everyone else hot on his tail with Ruby making sure to keep her distance from the other three, eyes hawk-like in their continuous surveying.

"Sam," Dean began, an apology amongst other things on the tip of his tongue, but Sam was grabbing Castiel at the collar, yanking him towards the car door. Dean stepped forward to intervene but blue eyes locked onto him, disarming him. He supposed Sam deserved this.

"Where did you take her? What did you do?" the youngest Winchester yelled, blinking back the moisture forming in his eyes, hands vibrating with fury and heart beating so fast, every breath sending fear ricocheting through his body.

"Woah, hey," Dean pulled his brother away from the bewildered angel. "Sam!" he shouted, shaking his brother's shoulders to get his attention away from the angel. "It's not Cas. He didn't do it. Trust me."

"What the hell is he?" Sam asked, deflating only enough to grip onto Dean's forearms and cast shady looks at the angel.

"I'm Castiel, an angel of the lord."

The look Sam shot him would have been priceless in any other circumstance but they didn't have time. There was a demon five feet away from them, slowly edging back further with each reveal of information.

"It's true. He's like a guardian angel or some shit like that," he added when Castiel frowned.

"He's doing a shit job."

"We're working on it."

"Why are you associating yourself with demon scum?" Castiel asked, eyes trained on Ruby, stilling her where she stood.

"What? I didn't do it!" She narrowed her eyes, turning to Sam and pleading. "Sam come on, we don't have time for this. I know where they have your daughter. We need to hurry."

"And just how do you expect us to believe anything you say?" Dean asked worried at his brother's silence.

"Look, if I wanted to get Sam or his daughter I'd have done it already."

"What have you got to gain?"

"Sam!" She pleaded. "We need to go. You know me. I know Rose, she's too young for all this stuff. Please."

"No way –"

"Okay," Sam agreed, silencing his brother dead. "Let's go."

"Sammy think this through -"

"I am," he yelled. "I don't know this angel from Adam. How do I know he's not one of them?"

"I know!"

"That's not good enough! She's my daughter!"

"Look," Ruby said finally coming forwards. "Yeah, I lied. Yeah, I'm a demon. But believe me or not, I want to help you. I know their plan, okay? Heard all about it, but I didn't want in. So I've put my neck on the line ever since I bumped into you in that grocery store almost a year ago to protect you. Gain your trust so I could make sure those sons of bitches didn't harm the kid. I screwed up. They got her and almost killed your big bro here before I could stop them. They must have figured I was onto them. But I know where to find them, Sam. And for the record, I was driving the right way," she scowled at Dean and Castiel, "Until they almost caused a car crash. We'd have got to her by now."

Sam stared at the demon for a while, figuring everything out. He remembered all the times they'd spent together. Never dates, because she had been so understanding of his situation. She'd been so good with Rose too. But it all made sense. Every time Sam invited her to his home, she'd declined politely. Most likely because she wouldn't be able to walk through the front door. The one thing that stopped him filling her with led is she'd had ample opportunity and never done a thing. It didn't make sense but they were out of time.

"Dammit, Sam!" Dean snapped, grabbing his brother's shoulder and pulling him towards Castiel. Sam shook him off, looking back at Ruby. "Cas knows the way!"

"So does Ruby, let's just go together, okay?"

"This isn't a good idea," Castiel said dully only for it to be ignored by the demon and youngest Winchester who were already sliding back into the car.

"Sam," Dean raised an eyebrow, "We don't need the car. Got ourselves a teleporter."

The eldest Winchester nodded towards Castiel, who stood silently, unmoving as ever, eyes still locked on the demon.

"Please," Ruby muttered, but was swiftly ignored. Castiel approached Sam, extending his arm and placing his hand on the young father's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Castiel murmured solemnly, then looked away. "Dean."

"Sorry, Ruby was it?" No room for demons," Dean winked, looking her up and down, "Have fun…being good."

Ruby rolled her eyes and turned away.

"But Dean, she could-" Sam began, but found himself outside some abandoned building. "-help."

"I'm not taking chances, Sammy. For all I know she's on her way to tell the big boss where we are," Dean shoved a small container and rusty petrol can in his brother's hand.

"Holy water, salt. I know you're out of practise but you know what-"

Dean was cut off by a flash of white light from Castiel, both boys had to cover their eyes quickly to shield from the unending light only for it to be cut off just as quickly, leaving them completely in the dark.

"Perfect," Dean muttered, "There goes the guardian angel. Demon must have some serious mojo. Stick with me, Sammy."

"But where is she?" Sam demanded. "We should split up."

"No ways. We have no idea what we're up against," Dean snapped. "Stay with me, Sam."

The younger brother had already started walking away.

"Are you crazy?" Dean hissed, grabbing at his brother's arm. "You have no idea what you're up against."

"I have to find her, Dean!" Sam's voice was desperate. He looked at the floor in defeat, "I can't lose her too."

"You won't, Sammy. I promise. I won't let those sons of bitches touch her. Now c'mon," Dean stared at his brother until he met his eyes. Sam said nothing and began to follow Dean.

"If she's hurt, I'll…" a young, infantile scream cut through Sam brutally and made his heart clench.

"Rose!" he followed the sound and chased it, his mind focused only on his daughter. Dean grabbed his arm and yanked him backwards.

"They want you to follow, genius! It's a trap! Stay put," he ordered sharply.

"They're hurting her, Dean," Sam's eyes were wide, and Dean couldn't help but see the terror in them, identical to years ago. Had the current situation been different, had it been twenty years ago, Dean would have grabbed Sam into a hug and reassured him that it would be okay. Their dad, the superhero, would make it all okay again. But it wasn't like that anymore.

Before Dean could stop him, Sam darted up the stairs and disappeared from view.

"For crying out loud," Dean muttered, going straight after his brother. That was, however, until a familiar figure stepped in front of him. Her cute sundress replaced by a black shirt, paired with a leather jacket and dark jeans. Her brunette locks sat perfectly on her shoulders.

"Ah, good to see you got here safe, Ruby, "Dean sneered, "And you even brought some friends, how adorable," he nodded to the two huge demons flanking her, "Now if you'll excuse me, sweetheart, Dean's got work to do."

"I don't like you, Dean Winchester," Ruby frowned. "Always getting in the way."

"Well, I'm not upset to hear that," Dean smirked. "Now, if you don't mind, my pain in the ass brother is probably about to get himself in trouble."

"And another thing," Ruby continued, raising her hand to shoulder level. "I think you're very rude. When you die, why do you never stay dead?"

With a hideous grin, she twisted her hand, and along with it, Dean's neck. He let out a strangled cry, muffled by the chilling crack of bone, and the hunter collapsed to the floor. The dark haired demon smirked and kicked the lifeless body.

"He'll be useful later," she gestured to the two demons accompanying her, and one slung Dean over his shoulder.

Sam cautiously made his way up the stairs, trying his best to conceal his footsteps as the old metal creaked under his weight but the main thought running through his mind wasn't about the environment but a slow chant yelling at him to get his daughter back. The creaks of the surround floorboards went unnoticed as he moved up the stairs, the low level of light making him squint along the way. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to find at the top of the stairs, but it wasn't the deserted area that he found. It should have made him feel relief, it didn't. The room was empty, except for one object. Rose's stroller.

It was facing away from Sam, but as he approached he could hear her. He would recognise her cries anywhere.

"Rose," he gave up his attempts of silence and ran, finding his helpless little daughter confined tightly to her stroller, so much that her movements were restricted. Sam rushed to release her, his shaking hands hindering him as he pulled at the straps desperately. Rose was finally free, scooped up into her father's arms and held close to his body.

"Dada," she mumbled, her mouth spreading into a smile as she clung to her father's shirt tightly.

"I'm here," Sam murmured; his voice cracking as he spoke. He looked up after a few minutes in realisation. He couldn't stay here, hanging around. He had to get out. Get home with Dean and be safe. Without hesitation, the younger Winchester brother turned tail and ran.

"Dean!" he yelled without thinking, "I got her!"

He ran straight into Ruby, half way down the staircase. The demon managed to keep her balance, her expression hard.

"I'm sorry," Sam gasped. "I have to get out of here."

"Sorry, Sammy, no can do," Ruby's eyes turned black as she forcefully snatched the infant from his arms, throwing him down the remaining steps with a single flick of her wrist. He hit the steps awkwardly, landing at the bottom on his stomach with a groan of pain. After a few seconds for recovery, Sam looked up at the steps to find Ruby and Rose gone.

"No," Sam was angry now, charging up the steps to find Ruby handing his baby daughter to another demon. In an uncontrollable fit of rage, Sam ran to the brunette demon and grabbed her shoulder roughly, forcing her to face him violently. She let out a small cry of surprise, but her face twisted into an agonised scream as holy water made contact with her face.

"I trusted you!" Sam's voice came out as a roar over the shrieks.

"Now, now," a calm voice spoke softly, and Sam looked to see the other demon. One glance was all it took and he knew. Yellow Eyed Demon. Responsible for their mother's death. Before he say anything, he was hurtling through the air and landing onto a pile of something. A little dazed, the younger Winchester scrambled to his feet, only to find he hadn't landed on something. He's landed on someone.

"Dean!" Sam cried, throwing himself down beside his brother's lifeless body. His head was at an awkward angle, while his glazed, hazel eyes bored into his little brother. Hot, angry tears streamed down Sam's cheeks as he held Dean's body close, shaking him despite knowing there was no chance of life. The only Winchester brother's body shook with the force of his cries, and he became oblivious to the situation.

"Sam," Ruby's voice was soft again as she knelt by the grieving brother. She placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry that had to happen."

Sam turned and shot a glare at him, "You're sorry?"

"Look, Sam. You're special. You're important. We need you. We…Rosie…look, we knew there was no way you'd agree…"

"You are with them!" Sam spat, "I liked you. I wanted to…"

Ruby grabbed his hand, stunning him into silence.

"Then say yes, Sammy," she whispered, her voice sounding so much like Jessica that Sam had to do a double take, "Say yes and everything will be alright. We can be together."

The demon leaned closer, pressing her lips to his with her hand rested on his cheek. He didn't pull away, until his daughter started giggling. Rose was still in the arms of the YED.

"Oh, Sammy. Little Sammy Winchester. I've been waiting for you, boy. A long time."

His eyes turned yellow, and Rose giggled and reached for his face.

"Aw, Rosie Winchester," he cooed softly. "You look just like your mommy. Shame about that."

"Don't talk about her like that," Sam snapped, his heart clenching at the mention of his wife. He was swiftly ignored.

"You want your Daddy to be a hero, don't you, Rosie? If he goes with me, he can be," the demon planted a kiss on the little girl's forehead.

"Just give her back," Sam's voice shook, "Please. Give her back to me. She's all I have, I need her. Please!"

"Da!" Rose said, her eyes wide as she grinned, "Dada!"

She stared at her father happily, reaching for him.

"I'm here…I'm here." Sam's voice cracked, "It's alright, Rosie. Daddy's here. It'll all be okay."

"Oh, Sammy, you're breaking my heart," the demon chided, and Ruby smirked.

"Just give her back!" Sam begged, "I'll do anything. Please!"

The yellow eyed demon grinned, "Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll make you a deal."

"Anything. I just want her back," Sam reached his arms towards Rose feebly.

"You get your daughter back in return for…your help," the yellow eyes narrowed.

Sam frowned, "Help with what?" he said in concern.

"No time for questions, Sam. It'll be easy. I just need something from you."

"Bring Dean back too. I'll do whatever you want, just bring him back. He's my brother," Sam was unsure if he could carry on without his brother's guidance. He'd always been so good with Rose, and encouraged Sam to bond more with Rose. Without Dean, Sam didn't want to imagine how his and Rose's lives would have differed. For one thing, Sam wouldn't have been half the father he was if he hadn't had Dean's support. As well as this, he could have ended up allowing his grief to take over him, probably breaking down.

"Don't push your luck, Winchester," the demon snapped. "Try and bargain again and the deal's off. I have a friend who would enjoy a tasty snack like little Rosie."

"No!" Sam gasped. "No…don't hurt her."

"Then join me, Sam Winchester," the demon smiled. "She'll be just fine."

Sam felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You won't feel a thing, Sam," Ruby said, her voice soft. "We need you."

Sam looked from her to Rose, looking at the wide, blue-green eyes staring at him. He couldn't let anything hurt her. There was no more he could do, especially without Dean.

"Exactly what do I do? What do you want from me?" Sam said quietly, his eyes not leaving Rose's as if in fear that she'd vanish.

"We need your assistance and cooperation," the demon said calmly. "You're special. We could use your abilities.

"Special?" Sam narrowed his eyes. "What's so special about me?"

"Do you want the kid back?" the demon snapped. "Decide."

Sam looked at his daughter desperately. This was it. If he didn't agree now, he'd have lost everything. Jessica, Dean and now Rose. He couldn't bear it. He took a deep breath.

"I'll do it," he said slowly. "But take Rose…take her to Ellen and Jo Harvelle at the Roadhouse. Make sure she's safe."

"As you wish," the demon nodded, and Sam found himself kissing Ruby again, her arms around his neck as she reached to his level. She pulled away slowly, but nothing had happened.

"I'm in a good mood, Sam," the demon smiled deceptively. "Before you help us, here."

He passed Rose to her father, where she instantly clung. Sam wiped a tear away.

"Be safe…be good," the young father kissed his daughter's forehead. "I love you."

A soft sound of wings distracted him, and he found Castiel kneeling down to Dean. Ruby took Rose and smirked, watching as the angel looked sadly at Sam before reviving Dean, who gasped and sat up.

"Sam!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet, "It's him! He killed mom, Sam!"

Sam looked to the demon and took a step back.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," the demon shrugged. "Gotta go. I'm afraid. Deal's a deal."

Ruby placed Rose in Dean's arms, slightly relieving Sam.

"Sam! What the hell are you doing?" Dean yelled. "You can't trust them!"

"Too late, Dean," the demon grinned. "Deal's done."

"Deal," Dean widened his eyes. "Sam…you didn't."

Sam looked back at his brother, his eyes wide as Ruby took his hand and stood close to him. He took a shaking breath and stared at Dean, whispering two words before disappearing completely.

"I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had a great Christmas and have a happy new year!


	15. Chapter 15

“Dean? What’s going on? We’re worried ‘bout you? Where’s Sam? How’s the baby? What’s happening? Call me back, idjit.”  
The answering machine rang through again, Dean didn’t even look up. Rose was babbling as Dean spoon-fed her but he couldn’t meet the vibrant eyes of the tot. Every single time he did he saw Sam. He couldn’t live with it. It was only now he was starting to realise just how bad Sam had it without Jess and he had no idea where his brother was to let him know. It was fucked up.  
After his initial attempts failed – and there had been a few – the demands of coping with a baby caught up with him. He couldn’t hunt demons and look after Rose and the guilt of dragging his brother’s daughter into this when he knew what Sam thought of his lifestyle dragged on him. Now he was alone, Cas had disappeared the moment his brother had and now a bone-deep anger was bubbling with him, ready to snap at the slightest provocation.   
That was when the blue-eyed freak decided to drop in on him. Rose giggled and smiled. Dean did not.   
“What the hell?” He hissed as his eyes narrowed at the man in the door way, temptation to grab his knife strong. “Where the hell have you been? It better have been tracking down my brother or so help me –“   
“I did and have been doing what is necessary to protect the infant spawn,” Castiel drawled, anger and annoyance lacing his words. “It was Sam or the child and your brother made his choice.”  
As much as Dean wanted to say otherwise, a glance at Rose stopped him. “Well thanks for the help,” he sneered instead, moving forwards to collect Rose. “Now get the fuck out. I don’t need your help.”  
“Dean.”  
“You didn’t even try,” the oldest Winchester continued to vent. “Fucking angels and demons. As bad as each other.”   
It happened lightning fast; one minute his back was turned to the angel with his niece in his arms, the next he was being held against the wall by his neck with Rose back in her high chair. “Do not associate me with that scum. I did what I could and there is work to be done yet.”   
Rose’s cries penetrated Dean from replying. He turned his attention to her briefly before glaring at the angel till he let go, moving over to his niece and hugging her close to him, rhythmically stroking her hair.  
“It’s alright, Rosie. I’m here, darlin’,” he whispered, “Uncle Dean’s gonna take you home and keep you safe.”  
The presence of the other was behind him, watching but Dean didn’t have anything else to say. He’d never planned for this.  
“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel murmured. Dean didn’t need to turn around to know the other had disappeared.   
\--  
“Sam? Is everything okay, love? You didn’t come to dinner. We missed you. Call if you need anything, we’ll pop around later this week if that’s okay? Just call to confirm.”   
It was the first time he’d paused and actually thought about something beside him and Rose. Shit. Dean had forgotten about the Moores completely. He hadn’t seen them since Sam dragged him to that dinner months ago They weren’t that bad but he couldn’t deal with them. God what was he even doing?   
Part of his mind told him he probably needed to return that call. Another part didn’t want to talk to anyone. The phone was in his hand for five minutes before he decided.  
\--  
Rose looked around the room half way through her meal, whimpering quietly. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to by now.   
“He’s not here,” Dean said flatly, but the infant persisted, her bottom lip wobbling as she stuck it out in a pout. Dean gently lifted her, sitting her on his knee and gently rocking her. He made soft hushing sounds to her, just as Sam used to, and she slowly began to quieten. Her tears ceased, left only with small whimpers and mumbles. Rose’s soft blonde curls gently tickled Dean’s chin as she leaned against him and put her hands on his shirt.  
“Dada,” she mumbled. He knew she didn’t mean him.  
“He loves you,” the protective uncle’s voice came out as a whisper. “He’ll always love you, Rosie.”  
Once she’d calmed down enough, Rose allowed Dean to feed her again. He found himself staring at her wide, puppy-dog-like eyes. There he was again. Little Sammy staring right at him. It reminded him of so much; when Sam realised that John had been away two years longer than he’d said he would, or when he used his powers of persuasion that he knew could win his big brother over, but most of all when he looked up to Dean when seeking protection.  
The hunter dragged his eyes away from his niece. He had to keep himself together. Dean took Rose back into his arms and took her to the living room, grabbing a beer on the way. He no longer had Sam to lecture him about drinking alcohol while looking after Rose. The young father didn’t care that beer barely affected Dean nowadays; he just wanted to be cautious. There was no one to stop Dean now.  
Dean drained three cans of beer before lying back on the couch in silence. The infant was curled up on his chest and beginning to drift off to sleep. Her soft breathing calmed the oldest Winchester, soothed him. So much anger, rage and guilt had built up inside him, and he felt dangerously close to setting it all free. The only thing holding him back was Rose nestled in him arms. She was the only one he had the, the only one with him. He couldn’t allow himself to vent out his anger with her there. None of it was her fault.   
With nothing to say, and beginning to feel calmer, Dean planted a kiss on his little niece’s head, watching her sleep for a little while. She’s grown so much, he thought proudly, fondly thinking back to when Rose was first in his arms. She’d been the tiniest little creature, so small and delicate with those large blue eyes. Since then, her eyes had become the double of her father’s, and her blonde tufts of hair had transformed into wispy ringlets. She was toddling all over the place and beginning to talk, her one word being “dada”.  
Rose shifted as she slept and softly babbled, and with a gentle squeeze, Dean yawned and began to fall asleep himself. It kept replying in his mind. Sam disappearing, Rose crying as her uncle took his anger out of Castiel. He was rescued from this nightmare by cries and wails.  
“Okay…okay,” Dean muttered, sitting up slowly, “I’m up.”  
Rose’s bottom lip stuck out in a pout, her face wet with tears, and Dean wrinkled his nose.  
“Guess you need changin’,” he muttered, taking her to the bathroom. He envied Sam’s natural ability to decode what every different cry meant. The younger Winchester brother made everything look easy to Dean.  
Rose gave her uncle a brilliant grin when he finished changing her. She kicked her legs and giggled, and her apparent joy caused a smile to grow on Dean’s lips. She was the only thing keeping him from losing his mind. He had to be there for his niece or no one else would be. Dean knew too well that he was far from being the best guardian for a young child, but he knew he needed her just as much as she needed someone to care for her.   
\--  
“Dean? For god’s sake answer your phone. We’re worried. You’ve got to the end of the day and we’re coming lookin’.”  
The hunter laid in his bed, fully clothed. Upon settling in Sam’s new home he’d indulged in night robes and even pyjamas, something even Sam didn’t have. Besides hunts, he could stay in this house and feel homely, safe and warm Part of him knew he needed to move on, the demon bitch Ruby knew where he lived and he didn’t want cops sniffing around about Sam’s disappearance but he couldn’t exactly hit the road with an infant.   
He’d tried to put Rose to bed an hour ago, following the routine; food, bath, pyjamas, sleep. He skipped the bedtime story, placing Rose in her crib and tucking her blankets around her before leaving without another word. This abrupt bedtime startled the infant, leaving her whimpering and shouting from her crib. Dean, completely oblivious, had been taking a shower, the running water drowning out the baby’s cries.  
He had run to her the moment he was dressed, scooping her straight into his arms and holding her close. The infant’s cries calmed immediately, morphing into whimpers and quiet babbles as her tiny fingers clung to her uncle. He said nothing, just holding her close and gently rocking her, occasionally making soft hushing sounds. He cradled her as he sat beside her crib, his hand running through her soft blonde curls. Her head rested on Dean’s shoulder, eyes drooping and slowly closing. Once asleep, he placed Rose in her crib gently and tucked her in. Luckily, she didn’t stir.  
Dean got in bed himself, lying for an hour without getting to sleep. Sleep had been scarce for Dean. He didn’t need a baby monitor to hear Rose’s cries. Dean got up, unable to bear it. He knew exactly who she wanted, and the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to get her father back ate away at the eldest Winchester.   
Dean lifted the infant and took her into his room, gently laying her on the bed before returning to her room to take the crib. The house felt so empty without Sam, without the clicks of the laptop keyboard or hearing Sam cooking downstairs. It was too quiet, and Dean hated it that way.   
He put the crib in the corner of his room and lifted Rose into his arms to calm her down. He kissed her forehead and stroked her curls, bouncing her soothingly. Dean sat on the bed, holding her close, and began to sing the song that always sparked memories of his mother. He hadn’t sung it to Rose in such a long time, but it still worked like a charm. His voice soothed her completely, her eyes drooping shut and her hand resting on his chest. Soon, her soft whimpers were replaced with small, gentle breaths.   
“Sweet dreams, kiddo,” Dean said softly, lying Rose back in the crib with her toy bunny in her hand and blanket tucked around her. The silence didn’t last long.  
The moment Dean had settled himself in bed, she started to cry all over again. With a groan of exhaustion, Dean pushed himself into sitting, scooping Rose up and taking her to the bed. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, hugging the warm bundle close to his chest. Rose quietened down and settled into his warmth, her whimpers morphing into the silence. He watched her as she fell asleep, then lay down with her curled up in his arms. Rose moved a lot in her sleep, shifting constantly. Her blonde curls brushed against his cheek and tickled his neck, and her feet involuntarily kicked him. He wouldn’t have slept anyway, and he was just glad Rose was getting some rest.   
Next thing he knew, it was morning and the fresh sunlight was streaming into his eyes. The infant was still asleep, nestled closet o him with her hand rested on his neck. Dean ran his fingers through her soft but messy curls, kissing her forehead and sitting up in bed. Slowly, the bright, blue-green eyes opening sleepily, her head rested on him.  
“Hi,” she mumbled several times, looking up at her uncle with a grin on her face. Dean couldn’t help but smile with her.  
“Good morning, little darlin’,” he whispered, kissing her tiny hand and allowing her to cling to his fingers, “Want some breakfast?”  
With a quick glance to his cell, Dean noticed three more missed calls had accumulated overnight, two Bobby, one Ellen. He really couldn’t bring himself to talk to them, not now. Rose needed him too much, that was his excuse.  
He left the phone on the bedside table and went downstairs to get Rose some breakfast.  
“MAA,” she bounced in her high chair, grinning and hitting her hands on the table.  
“Shh,” Dean said quietly, gently moving her hands away. She didn’t stop, going right back to what she’d been doing. Dean clenched his fists, desperate to keep his frustration inside. The last thing he wanted was to lose his temper at her, but he was getting so close to it. Everything built up inside, and Dean was too afraid to let it go.   
The hunter left the room as Rose started shouting for her meal. He sat on the couch, hanging his head with his fists clenched tight. He needed to vent, but being home with the baby prevented him from doing so. He stayed until he heard Rose’s shouts turn into cries, but even then he stayed where he was for a moment.  
“Hey,” he whispered as he lifted the young baby into his arms and held her close. “I’m here.”  
All the tension with Dean seemed to melt away, or at least moved to the back of his mind for now, and he placed Rose back in her high chair to feed her. Dean chopped up apple and orange into small chunks and put them on a plate, and spooned out some of the filling of a cherry pie he’d been saving. He didn’t want it anyway.   
Rose reached for her spoon, and her wide eyes followed it as Dean scooped up a piece of orange. She opened her mouth wide and reached her hands desperately to him, then chewed on the fruit eagerly.  
“Da!” she said, “Mowe!”  
Dean smiled at her utterance, feeding her fruit until she turned her head away and refused. Dean’s phone rang again, and he accidentally accepted it. Cursing under his breath, he held his phone to his ear.   
“What you say, boy?” Bobby said sharply, “What the heck is going on, Dean?   
Dean stared ahead, jaw clenched, while Rose chatted to herself and attempted to climb out her chair.  
“Dean? Don’t go all silent on me, son. I’m worried.”  
The hunter stayed silent, unable to form words.  
“Dean! Talk to me, goddammit!” the older hunter quickly lost his patience, “Where’s Sam?”  
“Sam's gone,” Dean snapped harshly, disconnecting the call and switching his cell off. Rose flinched, staring at him with wide eyes.  
“Dada,” she said to Dean, then turned away and amused herself with her fork, squealing with delight as she threw it to the floor and enjoyed the clattering sound.  
“Ma!” Rose shouted. “Mo!”  
Dean lifted her up, making soft hushing sounds to try and calm her down. She squealed and clapped her hands, grinning ecstatically. Dean couldn’t help but think of little Sammy on the rare occasions he smiled as a kid. He was a reasonably serious child, not often showing his happiness. The times he did were when Dean was around. He remembered playing with his baby brother, playing peekaboo and feeling relieved at his laughter. All he wanted was for Sam to be happy. Although he knew that a young infant would not remember, nor understand, the death of their mother, Dean felt that Sam was more serious than a baby his age should be. Once, making Sam smile was one of Dean’s favourite achievements.  
Rose’s eyes gleamed excitedly as she stared at her uncle.  
“Beebee,” she giggled, trying to climb on him. With a small smile, Dean sat on the couch, allowing her to climb all over him. She clung to his hair to pull herself up and used his face to put her feet. He didn’t care, and he didn’t object. He wasn’t in the mood to calm her down with a book or get her down for a nap, when it was plain to see she needed one.   
A knock at the door startled Dean out of his thoughts. Rosie squealed and clapped her hands.  
“Hi!” she grinned. “Hi!”  
“We’re not saying hi to people at the door today, Rosie,” he said flatly, but the knocking turned into hitting the door.  
“Open up, Dean,” Dean sighed as he head Bobby’s voice. “You can’t stay in there all day.”  
Rose stared at the direction of the door.  
“Oooh,” she cooed.  
“Yeah, ooh, it’s interesting, right, Rosie? We’re gonna play a game of hide and seek,” Dean muttered.  
“C’mon, Dean,” looked like Bobby had dragged Ellen along. “We’re worried. Just let us in.”  
Dean stood his ground, not moving and staying as quiet as he could. They couldn’t stay there all day, Bobby was right, but they could certainly try.  
The door-hitting stopped, and it seemed as if they’d left. Probably gone to wait us out in the car, Dean concluded. But then came the clinking sound of a lock being picked.  
“Oh for god’s sake,” Dean groaned moving over to the door and wrenching it open, scowling at the two people stood there.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think :) 
> 
> Also thanks to swoopswoop for helping out with this fic! :)


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